Drinking too much

[Anonymous]

I also stopped OP after weekend partying turned into daily drinking. (yes, I'm an 40 yo mom who partied HARD at home on the weekends after the kids went to bed). 6-8 was also my trouble time and I'd also easily knock back a bottle of wine.

It was super hard but I started keto and drinking wasn't an option. When I started seeing progress (quickly) it motivated me to stay sober. Almost 1 year later I can count on one hand the number of occasions that I've had drinks.

I'm currently drinking sparkling water from a wine glass. I feel fancy and like I'm drinking without any of the effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm under a lot of stress everywhere: work, baby toddler. I've been drinking too much and I know it. My amazing dh of 12 years has no idea and I've been sneaking alcohol around him. I feel like he hasn't noticed because of the same stressors. He travels Monday -Thursday which means he's checked out if the hard bits. I've been trying to stop and can't. I've been thinking I need him on my side to motivate and encourage me but I'm worried he will be a drinking nazi and never let me have a drink again. I'm ready to cut back significantly but don't want him to get upset at a glass of champagne at a wedding.

I'm not interested in judgment. I have enough judgment on myself already. Anyone been here or was the spouse in this situation?

I am not in exactly the same situation, but I understand. I come home and sometimes just WANT to get trashed. I mean, I just want to drink to excess and feel numb and happy and forget everything.

I think you need to talk with your DH and tell him what you are doing, and that you want his support, that you don't want a drinking nazi. You should figure out before you talk exactly HOW you want him to support you, so you can tell him exactly what to do. That's helpful on the receiving end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

+1 to the Alcohol Experiment. I had spent 15 years drinking 2-5 drinks a night — really obsessing about alcohol — and stopped in my tracks with the Alcohol Experiment. It’s been 10 months and my life is 10000x better since I stopped. I have a drink only maybe once every few months and rarely even finish the whole thing.

My husband was no help, as he drank as much as I did. Since I’ve stopped, he’s cut way back too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

This has been the craziest part of my sober journey. I get the third degree from people about not drinking, and it's usually negative, judgy, and trying to pressure me into drinking. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

+1 to the Alcohol Experiment. I had spent 15 years drinking 2-5 drinks a night — really obsessing about alcohol — and stopped in my tracks with the Alcohol Experiment. It’s been 10 months and my life is 10000x better since I stopped. I have a drink only maybe once every few months and rarely even finish the whole thing.

My husband was no help, as he drank as much as I did. Since I’ve stopped, he’s cut way back too.

OP is drinking 4 glasses of wine once every 3 weeks.

You drank every night.

Do you see there is a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

+1 to the Alcohol Experiment. I had spent 15 years drinking 2-5 drinks a night — really obsessing about alcohol — and stopped in my tracks with the Alcohol Experiment. It’s been 10 months and my life is 10000x better since I stopped. I have a drink only maybe once every few months and rarely even finish the whole thing.

My husband was no help, as he drank as much as I did. Since I’ve stopped, he’s cut way back too.

OP is drinking 4 glasses of wine once every 3 weeks.

You drank every night.

Do you see there is a huge difference.

... sorry, wrong thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

+1 to the Alcohol Experiment. I had spent 15 years drinking 2-5 drinks a night — really obsessing about alcohol — and stopped in my tracks with the Alcohol Experiment. It’s been 10 months and my life is 10000x better since I stopped. I have a drink only maybe once every few months and rarely even finish the whole thing.

My husband was no help, as he drank as much as I did. Since I’ve stopped, he’s cut way back too.

OP is drinking 4 glasses of wine once every 3 weeks.

You drank every night.

Do you see there is a huge difference.

This is the op. I haven’t had any drinks this week. Mostly because my favorite vodka was gone. Weirdly my drinking wasn’t a problem. I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover. I also sleep better when I drink. I have bad insomnia since having kids. I have decided my limit is no more drinking by myself. I will have two glasses on Friday and Saturday.

I typically didn’t drink wine because I didn’t like the calories.

Anyways this thread and others I’ve seen have been helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

This has been the craziest part of my sober journey. I get the third degree from people about not drinking, and it's usually negative, judgy, and trying to pressure me into drinking. So weird.

This is interesting to me because very few people realize that I don't drink. I get offered wine and beer at parties and I just ask for water or soda instead without explaining. But then I quit drinking in 1987 and my social life hasn't revolved around heavy drinking. So maybe if you're making that kind of change, people would notice. Sorry to hear that y'all are experiencing that.

[Anonymous]

OP - I totally get where you're coming from. I am a working mom with a 3-year-old and definitely use alcohol as a crutch. I never get drunk/trashed, and I never have a hangover, but once I finally get home from a long commute on the beltway with a screaming/crying/whiny/hungry kid my 'reward' is usually milk for her and a glass of wine for me.

I always stop at 9pm, and usually mix white wine with lots of soda water. But still, this happens every day.

I periodically take a few weeks or a month off at a time, and have no problem quitting when there's a reason, but day-to-day it's hard to abstain. It's definitely a coping mechanism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the same shoes as you although I was drinking more and for longer and hiding it. I quit cold turkey in January and haven't had a drop and my life is totally different for the better. I think you really need to go a month without any alcohol but don't eschew alcohol related events. Have a look at how people react when they notice you aren't drinking. Alcohol is the only drug that people ask you why you're not having it. Anyway, try reading/listening to Annie Grace's The Naked Mind. I think you will find it useful. And that glass of champagne at the wedding? Its really not that great.

This has been the craziest part of my sober journey. I get the third degree from people about not drinking, and it's usually negative, judgy, and trying to pressure me into drinking. So weird.

This is interesting to me because very few people realize that I don't drink. I get offered wine and beer at parties and I just ask for water or soda instead without explaining. But then I quit drinking in 1987 and my social life hasn't revolved around heavy drinking. So maybe if you're making that kind of change, people would notice. Sorry to hear that y'all are experiencing that.

I'm an attorney. Drinking is a HUGE part of the networking culture. I'm also 40-ish and wine/champagne drinking is a HUGE part of my social culture. I was also known as someone who was the first and last at the bar. LOL!! So it's shocking to people who know me that I'm not drinking anymore except on truly special occasions (Tuesday is not a special occasion). I didn't expect the reactions to be so negative though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ Ugh, no.

Annie Grace's alcohol experiment.

OP do this: Annie Grace’s the alcohol experiment online. Sign up; it’s free. Listen to the webcasts each day and journal a little - it’s anonymous.
There’s no judgment, and you don’t have to commit to giving up alcohol. You don’t even have to stop drinking before you start the experiment.

Just 30 days.

I did it almost exactly a year ago and I actually haven’t had a drink of alcohol since , although I didn’t enter it at the time thinking I was going to cut back completely. As I did the experiment though, I realized I didnt want to drink any more.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I cut down on my drinking a lot and what has worked for me is just not having it at home. I'm a total sucker for wine and once I just started to refuse to get it and have it still home, my drinking decreased rapidly. Actually if I do drink at home, I always feel so anxious, depressed and sick the next day. It's SO hard. But when I'm not drinking it is freeing and I'm relieved to not be constantly thinking about that first drink, then the next, then the next and so on.

[Anonymous]

The key is to learn how to not buy alcohol when you are out. I converted to 20 different teas and developed a lot of fake interests. It works over time.

I indulge in once in a while but I will buy single bottle beer or wine. Avoid Costco aisles completely please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The key is to learn how to not buy alcohol when you are out. I converted to 20 different teas and developed a lot of fake interests. It works over time.

I indulge in once in a while but I will buy single bottle beer or wine. Avoid Costco aisles completely please.

Op here. I’m not much of a social drinker so drinking with friends isn’t an issue. I never drink too much then. I also don’t have a problem opening wine bottles or most liquor. I pretty much just like vodka because it can be mixed into anything and it hits so quickly without filling you up.

So it’s been a week. I had two drinks on Friday (wine with friends) and 1 on Saturday.

I think this is just a habit and it’s hard to start doing other things. Cleaning while buzzed after the kids were asleep made the time fly by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Ugh, no.

Annie Grace's alcohol experiment.

OP do this: Annie Grace’s the alcohol experiment online. Sign up; it’s free. Listen to the webcasts each day and journal a little - it’s anonymous.
There’s no judgment, and you don’t have to commit to giving up alcohol. You don’t even have to stop drinking before you start the experiment.

Just 30 days.

I did it almost exactly a year ago and I actually haven’t had a drink of alcohol since , although I didn’t enter it at the time thinking I was going to cut back completely. As I did the experiment though, I realized I didnt want to drink any more.

I came across this thread a couple of weeks ago while looking for something else in the forum, but the subject line rang true.

A huge thank you to everyone who recommended Annie Grace's 30-Day Alcohol Experiment. I started it the next day and am on day 14 now. I feel great and I love the approach.