People inviting themselves on your vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't agree to get together. Let her know you hope she'll have a great time and you're excited to compare notes when you get back.

This just seems so rude. But then again, so is inviting yourself along without consulting!

That's the problem with truly over the top rude behavior (as exhibited by this friend inviting herself along). The appropriate and effective response has to be so harsh, it feels incredibly rude to do. But it isn't. The rudeness is entirely on the part of the "friend" tagging along without so much as checking with OP whether it would be ok.

Yup. I had an acquaintance askif it would be OK for her family to join us on a trip. She added "It's fine if you say no."

I said, "Sorry, no, it's family time."

She wrote back, "I don't see what the big deal is. We'd do our own thing some of the time."

Um it is a big deal, your friend is nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a resort?

Call and see if they can book you far away from their unit. Depending on the size and type of the resort you might never see them there, except perhaps with a lot of effort.

If you are talking about a place like Disneyworld or a place with lots of different cabins like Massenutten, then being there at the same time is really no big deal.

OP says its a small resort...so I don't think you can just never see the person like at Disney or Atlantis.

[Anonymous]

Can you reschedule your vacation?

If not or you don't want to, decide in advance what your limits are. Are you willing to get together at all? If not (and that's fine), be ready with strategies for communication. "Larla, vacation for us is family time and we prefer to stick to our existing plans. I hope you have a great trip doing your thing, too. I'd love to schedule something for when we get back, like dinner on such and such date."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't agree to get together. Let her know you hope she'll have a great time and you're excited to compare notes when you get back.

This just seems so rude. But then again, so is inviting yourself along without consulting!

That's the problem with truly over the top rude behavior (as exhibited by this friend inviting herself along). The appropriate and effective response has to be so harsh, it feels incredibly rude to do. But it isn't. The rudeness is entirely on the part of the "friend" tagging along without so much as checking with OP whether it would be ok.

Yup. I had an acquaintance askif it would be OK for her family to join us on a trip. She added "It's fine if you say no."

I said, "Sorry, no, it's family time."

She wrote back, "I don't see what the big deal is. We'd do our own thing some of the time."

Um it is a big deal, your friend is nuts

Yeah "some of the time"? Really? That's nuts.

[Anonymous]

when you arrive, tell the front desk that you don't want them to give out your room details to any one asking, even other resort guests and that this is a huge thing that you really don't want to be bothered while you are on vacation...If its a nice resort, they will honor your request.

and then Turn off your cell phone....or at the every least block your friends number from texts/calls until you return home.

IE become unavailable... Its not a matter of IF, but when you cross paths with the person, tell them you've already got all your family activities planned out..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:when you arrive, tell the front desk that you don't want them to give out your room details to any one asking, even other resort guests and that this is a huge thing that you really don't want to be bothered while you are on vacation...If its a nice resort, they will honor your request.

and then Turn off your cell phone....or at the every least block your friends number from texts/calls until you return home.

IE become unavailable... Its not a matter of IF, but when you cross paths with the person, tell them you've already got all your family activities planned out..

That's sounds like work.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go for this year. You aren't obligated to do anything with them. Make dinner and activity reservations in advance for just your family. Plan your vacation just like you always would. You wouldn't have the place to yourself in any event so just treat them like another resort guest that you happen to know.

We've often vacationed with other families in that way (others book after we do, we aren't tagging along) and it works out nicely. For ski trips we might meet up to ski, or for lunch, but that's it. In the summer we might have a dinner, or a day on the beach, but not every day. It's not like you are sharing a house or anything.

[Anonymous]

Agree with everyone that said it is a weird and annoying. She must be coming at this from a very different perspective - like her family is together a lot and loves to spend time with other people. Still she should have asked first.

Assuming you can't or don't want to switch weeks, I would be really up front about this and proactive in planning. Also assuming your families get along fairly well, I would explain that you had originally intended this as family time but now that they are coming too, could we schedule specific things we do together and some apart- like mostly eat separately but one night all eat together. Are there excursions? (not sure what kind of resort this is) If so schedule one together then plan other things separately. The key is to set up expectations before you get there.

i realize this isn't what you originally had in mind, but make the best of it by planning ahead and maybe it will turn out to be really fun.

[Anonymous]

Why did you give so many details? That was your huge mistake.

Honestly, I'd change - to a different week or a different spot, or SOMETHING. And I wouldn't tell her.

Don't tell people about your vacations until you're back from them - it's safer from a home invasion standpoint anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when you arrive, tell the front desk that you don't want them to give out your room details to any one asking, even other resort guests and that this is a huge thing that you really don't want to be bothered while you are on vacation...If its a nice resort, they will honor your request.

and then Turn off your cell phone....or at the every least block your friends number from texts/calls until you return home.

IE become unavailable... Its not a matter of IF, but when you cross paths with the person, tell them you've already got all your family activities planned out..

That's sounds like work.

And really rude/mean. Yes, the other person was rude to book this vacation, but I assume that came from a place of cluelessness. I wouldn't want to have to spend my vacation working so hard to avoid others. I think you will just have to deal with it for this year, and in the future avoid talking about vacations ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, a friend has just booked a vacation at the same small resort we will be visiting this summer, at the same time as we will be there. She’s very excited (she didn’t even ask if we were interested in vacationing with her—we aren’t, this is family time.) Obviously I know I can’t control when or where people vacation, but I’m bummed. We value our family time. How do I move forward?

Is she hinting that she'll hang out with you?

+1

Or are you making mountains out of mole hills, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, did you hint or in anyway insinuate that it would be fun for her to join?

I just can't fathom auto inviting myself to join in on someone's vacation (even if I pay my own way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she hinting that she'll hang out with you?

+1

+2 OP your plan will depend on what you want and what your friend is hoping for/expecting.

[Anonymous]

That's my MIL. It's annoying. She texted dh asking what we are doing on spring break. Next thing I know, yeah, she's joining us half of the spring break in Utah. What the heck!