People inviting themselves on your vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

[Anonymous]

Different view here -- is she socially awkward or inept? Could she just not have recognized that this would be interpreted as rude and intrusive, and that's why she didn't consult with you beforehand? I have to say that this sounds A LOT like the kinds of things my sister does, not just to family but also to her friends, and I have always thought that she is somewhere on the spectrum although never evaluated (we are in our late 40s and autism was not as well-recognized when we were kids). Just giving her the benefit of the doubt if you still want to try to stay friends after this experience. But if this does not ring a bell, then she could be just so completely self-absorbed that you prob should stop being friends with her in any event. Sorry this happened to you and good luck with the vacation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

I like my friends. But I don't want to spend more than about four hours with them at a time. I'm an introvert. Being with my family is like being by myself in terms of sapping energy. So a family vacation is totally relaxing to me. A vacation with friends might be FUN but it wouldn't be RELAXING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, I'd change - to a different week or a different spot, or SOMETHING. And I wouldn't tell her.

Don't tell people about your vacations until you're back from them - it's safer from a home invasion standpoint anyway.

This. I'd change my vacation.

[Anonymous]

At this point in time, we vacation to get away from everyone around here and have 100% family time.

I get it OP. That would annoy the crap out of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, I'd change - to a different week or a different spot, or SOMETHING. And I wouldn't tell her.

Don't tell people about your vacations until you're back from them - it's safer from a home invasion standpoint anyway.

This. I'd change my vacation.

I would as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point in time, we vacation to get away from everyone around here and have 100% family time.

I get it OP. That would annoy the crap out of me.

+1

I know someone that invited themselves to a family's beach house. The other family showed up after the DH told the wife "guess who is joining us?" It only happened once, for good reason.

[Anonymous]

She picked the same small resort and the same time frame as you, and is excited to let you know that. Chances are she wants to spend some of that time with you. How does your spouse feel about it? Is it just her, or her family too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, a friend has just booked a vacation at the same small resort we will be visiting this summer, at the same time as we will be there. She’s very excited (she didn’t even ask if we were interested in vacationing with her—we aren’t, this is family time.) Obviously I know I can’t control when or where people vacation, but I’m bummed. We value our family time. How do I move forward?

Changes dates, or location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

You seriously like and know all your friends equally well? I don't think that is commonplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when you arrive, tell the front desk that you don't want them to give out your room details to any one asking, even other resort guests and that this is a huge thing that you really don't want to be bothered while you are on vacation...If its a nice resort, they will honor your request.

and then Turn off your cell phone....or at the every least block your friends number from texts/calls until you return home.

IE become unavailable... Its not a matter of IF, but when you cross paths with the person, tell them you've already got all your family activities planned out..

That's sounds like work.

while you are checking in "hey can you put a note that we don't want to bothered or have our room info given out to folks who ask" five seconds tops

turning off cell phone. easy. heck even blocking numbers is easy...

I'm not advocating that you go out of your way to avoid the people as thast not fun... but take a few simple measures to help ensure your privacy. and when you do cross paths say hi exchange pleasantries. if they want to do activities together and you don't "sorry but my family and I have planned our activities we want to do together as a family already" Ie hint around the fact that this is a family vacation.

maybe suggest drink at the pool one evening/afternoon...

[Anonymous]

Is she solo or does she have a family who's coming as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

I am friendly with some mom's at school, I'll call them my friends, but if they show up on vacation, that would be weird. Sounds like op's friend is at that level.