Things you wish you could say to a coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you sneeze 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you blow your nose 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you cough 8x in an hour, you are sick.

Take medicine and/or go home.

People don't take sick days because they know the nosy, tattletale, bootlicking types love to walk around talking about how they NEVER take sick days, blah blah. You see it all the time on DCUM.

And I'm the opposite. I think if you're sick, you'd be helping the company by going home; resting for tomorrow; not spreading it over a potential exponential number of employees. A bug hit you. Nothing to be ashamed of. Now sleep it off.

[Anonymous]

You wear way too much perfume. I can't even approach you half the time it's so overwheming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you sneeze 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you blow your nose 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you cough 8x in an hour, you are sick.

Take medicine and/or go home.

Or you have allergies and have already tried taking medicine which has stopped or isn't working.
Geez.

[Anonymous]

Don't act all sensitive every time we bring up subject X, you lost, we are not doing it your way, we are going in another directions, move on.

[Anonymous]

JS: I know you do a sneaky stealthy super quiet walk through the cube farm every am and pm so you can report to our boss.

When I catch you and say hi you are waaaaaay obvious with your fake thing you wanted to ask me about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JS: I know you do a sneaky stealthy super quiet walk through the cube farm every am and pm so you can report to our boss.

When I catch you and say hi you are waaaaaay obvious with your fake thing you wanted to ask me about.

Hmm..why shouldn't they report to the boss? Maybe boss told them to?

[Anonymous]

Actually I had a great line today: he was mansplaining some simple physics to me. He said, "there's this quantity, it's the derivative of the acceleration, it's called jerk, that's a real term you know."

So I said, "You know I'm a physicist, right? I know what jerk is. Actually, all you needed to know is that I am a woman at [our employer] for you to know that I know what a jerk is".

Ba dum ching!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you sneeze 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you blow your nose 8x in an hour, you are sick.

If you cough 8x in an hour, you are sick.

Take medicine and/or go home.

Or you have allergies and have already tried taking medicine which has stopped or isn't working.
Geez.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am still grossed out when people are sneezing all over the place at work, regardless of if it's allergies or a cold.

People in office jobs should be allowed to work from home or take sick days, if they are spreading their snot around that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually I had a great line today: he was mansplaining some simple physics to me. He said, "there's this quantity, it's the derivative of the acceleration, it's called jerk, that's a real term you know."

So I said, "You know I'm a physicist, right? I know what jerk is. Actually, all you needed to know is that I am a woman at [our employer] for you to know that I know what a jerk is".

Ba dum ching!

I like it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually I had a great line today: he was mansplaining some simple physics to me. He said, "there's this quantity, it's the derivative of the acceleration, it's called jerk, that's a real term you know."

So I said, "You know I'm a physicist, right? I know what jerk is. Actually, all you needed to know is that I am a woman at [our employer] for you to know that I know what a jerk is".

Ba dum ching!

get me some jerked chicken yo!

[Anonymous]

If you add one more thing to our packed office, I'm going to call the fire marshall.

[Anonymous]

You think the reason no one agrees with you is because you are a self-alleged contrarian, but it is really due to your utter incompetence and short temper to cover it up.

[Anonymous]

I'd say, "I CAN'T BELIEVE you get paid more than I do."

There are some true injustices in the gov't world.

[Anonymous]

Nice ass