Miss Manners on gender reveal parties

[Anonymous]

Glad we can have some finality on this. It's a DON'T.

Also I don't really understand the defense that this type of party has to be applauded because it is "sharing your happiness." There are 1000's of ways to share your happiness - from volunteering in a soup kitchen to talking incessantly about yourself for 2 hours - that doesn't mean each way is equally commendable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've yet to go to a gender party where the parents don't already know the gender. Lame! I want to see the parents reactions when they find out for the first time!

Ugh, really? So it's totally just a show to get other people to react? That's beyond awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

I love you!!! For sure I'll invite you to the next party at my pool/sex dungeon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bummer for those who only want to share their happiness. Maybe an informal dinner where you just choose to announce. And yes I know that is not the point of this thread.

Did you entirely miss the point? The point is that even though you feel happiness, nobody else cares as much as you do, nobody else wants to celebrate this particular part of YOYR life with you. Share your happiness by sending a text, making a phone call, or on Facebook. I think even an informal dinner would be awkward for your guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

Yes... but I wanted it to be a little more about celebrating the pregnancy and my life changing. I didn't have a shower but I wanted something to mark the occasion of baby. I did do a "meet the baby" party afterwards, but it wasn't as low key as a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've yet to go to a gender party where the parents don't already know the gender. Lame! I want to see the parents reactions when they find out for the first time!

Ugh, really? So it's totally just a show to get other people to react? That's beyond awful.

Well, I would have invited you to my vaginal probe with the sonogram technician. That's when I found out. Next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way to go, Miss Manners. Farcical is right.

And "not dignified"
Somebody please bookmark this so we can just reference it next time it comes up on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've yet to go to a gender party where the parents don't already know the gender. Lame! I want to see the parents reactions when they find out for the first time!

Ugh, really? So it's totally just a show to get other people to react? That's beyond awful.

Well, I would have invited you to my vaginal probe with the sonogram technician. That's when I found out. Next time.

What?! Why did you have a vaginal ultrasound to find out gender?! I'm calling bs. I only had a vaginal one at 6 weeks to see viability/heartbeat. At 10+ weeks you can do a regular stomach ultrasound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

Yes... but I wanted it to be a little more about celebrating the pregnancy and my life changing. I didn't have a shower but I wanted something to mark the occasion of baby. I did do a "meet the baby" party afterwards, but it wasn't as low key as a shower.

Have a regular party. At that party talk to your friends about changes in your life.

Don't throw yourself a reality show with a photo shoot. That's tacky.

[Anonymous]

It's the pinterestification of America. Take a regular event and make it expensive and time-consuming, and make it sound like it's required.
Honestly, I had never heard of engagement photos until I discovered Pinterest. Never occurred to me to decorate my house for Valentine's Day, or to make a whole spread of heart-shaped foods.

I have Middle Eastern in-laws who get mad at you if you're not having a boy. I imagine that would be fun at a gender reveal party!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

Yes... but I wanted it to be a little more about celebrating the pregnancy and my life changing. I didn't have a shower but I wanted something to mark the occasion of baby. I did do a "meet the baby" party afterwards, but it wasn't as low key as a shower.

Have a regular party. At that party talk to your friends about changes in your life.

Don't throw yourself a reality show with a photo shoot. That's tacky.

Or! Have a Pregnancy Party and invite all your girlfriends over for: rubbing your belly and feet with cocoa butter, oohing and aaahing over your linea nigra and dark nipples, cervix appreciation, laxative and hemorrhoid discussion and then reflux.

Or perhaps you could get over yourself. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What?! Why did you have a vaginal ultrasound to find out gender?! I'm calling bs. I only had a vaginal one at 6 weeks to see viability/heartbeat. At 10+ weeks you can do a regular stomach ultrasound.

Because everyone is just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What?! Why did you have a vaginal ultrasound to find out gender?! I'm calling bs. I only had a vaginal one at 6 weeks to see viability/heartbeat. At 10+ weeks you can do a regular stomach ultrasound.

Because everyone is just like you.

Or because the GA when you need a vaginal ultrasound is way too early to determine gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate knowing the gender ahead of time. My friends post their gender and the name at the same time and it's sort of anticlimatic. Obviously not everyone feels that way though.

I truly wish there was a party you could have, like a shower, but without gifts.

There is. It's called a party.

"Please come to my house/pool/boat/sex dungeon/whatever for a party! I'm super exicted to have such wonderful friends to share my life with."

I love you!!! For sure I'll invite you to the next party at my pool/sex dungeon!

+1 Nothing wrong with throwing a party, as long as you're not asking for gifts! The gender reveal is the silly part. No one cares nearly as much as you do, it's a dumb exercise in gender stereotyping, and it definitely comes off as attention-seeking/a gift grab. Just have a regular party to spend time with family and friends pre-baby and don't make it all "me me me my pregnancy is so special and unique."