What do you do if you sense your teen is treading toward loser-ville?

[Anonymous]

I think YOU need to take a parenting class. I bet you are a joy to live with. I feel sorry for your teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If school isn't his thing how about trade school?

Never understood people who say this. Lazy is lazy. A lazy unorganized unmotivated slacker isn't suddenly going to be an HVAC or plumbing wizard, are they?

Some kids are unmotivated in school because they find it very difficult. Trade school can be a relief for them and, yes, then they are successful.

[Anonymous]

My bet is that he will make a million a year in sales with his gregarious personality and people skills. No joke.

[Anonymous]

Maybe start by stopping the comparisons with his older sibling. Every kid is different with different strengths and you seem fixated on DS not living up to his brother's academic standards. I'm sure DS knows that as well. I agree with other PPs. Focus on the positives. Force him to do something other than goofing around with his friends. Make him volunteer, join an activity, etc. And take away the iPad and phone when he's supposed to be studying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make him get a job.

+1 Have you required him to work, do chores? What about volunteering? Does he have any family obligations?

Take away his phone...I somehow doubt that he pays the phone bill on his own.

[Anonymous]

He needs a job now and you need a firm boundary that he is out of the house and supporting himself at 18. Do not enable laziness.

And people, trade school is still fucking school. I come from a family of tradespeople. Lots of them were bad at academics. But they were not LAZY like OP's son. You cannot be lazy and succeed at trade school or in a trade, JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs a job now and you need a firm boundary that he is out of the house and supporting himself at 18. Do not enable laziness.

And people, trade school is still fucking school. I come from a family of tradespeople. Lots of them were bad at academics. But they were not LAZY like OP's son. You cannot be lazy and succeed at trade school or in a trade, JFC.

+1 million!

[Anonymous]

Take the phone and iPad away until he gets his homework done. Make him get a JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My bet is that he will make a million a year in sales with his gregarious personality and people skills. No joke.

Lazy uneducated people are such natural salesmen? And sales in 2016-forward doesn't require constant training and liability concerns? Please list all the Fortune 500 companies that would call back an applicant for a sales position who doesn't have a bachelors. Nobody would take a chance on someone like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the phone and iPad away until he gets his homework done. Make him get a JOB.

Yes, the phone and ipad are enabling the behavior. These should be earned. You should find positive ways to motivate him.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the prescribing physician about co-morbid conditions with ADHD. Your son could be suffering from anxiety. These ADHD/anxiety combo kids often behave like your son. It is very tough for them to function.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bend over backwards to make him care about school. He's been on Adderall for two years. He's just such a lazy student, ex. when he's supposed to be studying I'll catch him asleep in his room or hiding a cell phone or iPad mini on front of a book. He's too old for "everyone did bad on that" twice a week.

What even are the options for someone like my son? My oldest was a studious high school student and is pre-med, so I've never run into this.

How does he still have his cell phone or mini iPad. They are earned in our house. If you mess up or aren't holding your own, they get taken away. If that doesn't work, contact his teaches and tell him all his HW will now be printed out and written because he lost his computer. And every time he complains he needs his electronics, hand him a piece of paper with a chore on it. I guarantee things would change pretty quickly in your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd never call him a loser. But he's so lazy and in denial about his laziness and I catch him lying about everything. He hates school. Hates reading. Hates every subject.

I would work with him every night or get him a tutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If school isn't his thing how about trade school?

Never understood people who say this. Lazy is lazy. A lazy unorganized unmotivated slacker isn't suddenly going to be an HVAC or plumbing wizard, are they?

Some kids are unmotivated in school because they find it very difficult. Trade school can be a relief for them and, yes, then they are successful.

No kids that TRY and struggle in school, go off to trade school and do well. A lazy kid on his cell phone or sleeping isn't going to excel anywhere if there are no consequences.

Parents give very little consequences to kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"What is he good at?" Does people really believe everyone has a talent ... some people aren't just lazy and dumb?

Yes, some people really believe that everyone has different strengths. But treating someone like they're lazy and dumb is a great way to guarantee that behavior continues.