Back on the dating scene. Confused.

[Anonymous]

So it's up to him to suggest concrete plans? Why don't you take the initiative, OP? His response was perfectly reasonable.

[Anonymous]

"So it's up to him to suggest concrete plans? Why don't you take the initiative, OP? His response was perfectly reasonable."

Oh come on, this guy's totally playing. If you ask if someone is free for a date and the response is "yes, I'm free on X day," but you never follow up with a suggestion for doing something specific, then you're not really interested. If you do that multiple times, you are just stringing someone along while managing someone else.

OP, a guy who really wants to see you will make sure he makes specific plans with you with a decent amount of advanced notice. You could continue to play games with this one, but what's the point?

[Anonymous]

I think you're overthinking this. He's saying he's cool with you being out of pocket for a few days. He also may be a guy who doesn't plan too far in advance, or he may be trying to play it cool so he doesn't scare you off by being too eager to schedule something.

Next time in that situation, you could always say, I'll be out of town until Thursday, but maybe Friday or Saturday?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did you want him to say?

Make concrete plans. At least a little more than that. It's not like I'm saying I'll be free weeks out, heck even a week.

Actually the correct thing would have been to say, "I'd love to -- I have work travel for a couple of days but how about Thursday?"

[Anonymous]

Did you say in a few days, or give an exact day? LIke, 'I'll be free in a few days when I am back' vs. 'I am free Saturday.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:**edit**

He asked about going to dinner and wanted to know when I would be *free* and I told him starting in a few days (traveling for work). All he said was sounds good. I may be overrracting here but that really put a bad tatse in my mouth. 

its because women like a guy who can take charge and organize something. Just take a pass, he sounds like a beta male and you'll get bored with him or find yourself cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overthinking this. He's saying he's cool with you being out of pocket for a few days. He also may be a guy who doesn't plan too far in advance, or he may be trying to play it cool so he doesn't scare you off by being too eager to schedule something.

Next time in that situation, you could always say, I'll be out of town until Thursday, but maybe Friday or Saturday?"

Some people are not planners. Decide now if you can live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did you want him to say?

Make concrete plans. At least a little more than that. It's not like I'm saying I'll be free weeks out, heck even a week.

Actually the correct thing would have been to say, "I'd love to -- I have work travel for a couple of days but how about Thursday?"

Or he could stop being an impotent ass and ask her himself than set a time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"So it's up to him to suggest concrete plans? Why don't you take the initiative, OP? His response was perfectly reasonable."

Oh come on, this guy's totally playing. If you ask if someone is free for a date and the response is "yes, I'm free on X day," but you never follow up with a suggestion for doing something specific, then you're not really interested. If you do that multiple times, you are just stringing someone along while managing someone else.

OP, a guy who really wants to see you will make sure he makes specific plans with you with a decent amount of advanced notice. You could continue to play games with this one, but what's the point?

I didn't do that though. I said I'll be free starting on Monday but I understand what yours saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you say in a few days, or give an exact day? LIke, 'I'll be free in a few days when I am back' vs. 'I am free Saturday.'

Well 1. I didn't even tell him the reason why I wouldn't be free
2. Just said I'll be free from Monday on.

[Anonymous]

Well, you gave a vague reply of "in a few days". Perhaps he is wondering if you were so vague for a reason (such as disinterest) and does not want to be pushy or bother you too much while you are traveling for work. He's probably trying to be respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overthinking this. He's saying he's cool with you being out of pocket for a few days. He also may be a guy who doesn't plan too far in advance, or he may be trying to play it cool so he doesn't scare you off by being too eager to schedule something.

Next time in that situation, you could always say, I'll be out of town until Thursday, but maybe Friday or Saturday?"

May be so because I have been the one to turn him down the last few times he asked but I'm not sure. Can't decide if he's playing it cool or playing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overthinking this. He's saying he's cool with you being out of pocket for a few days. He also may be a guy who doesn't plan too far in advance, or he may be trying to play it cool so he doesn't scare you off by being too eager to schedule something.

Next time in that situation, you could always say, I'll be out of town until Thursday, but maybe Friday or Saturday?"

May be so because I have been the one to turn him down the last few times he asked but I'm not sure. Can't decide if he's playing it cool or playing games.

Okay, so you have turned him down several times in a row, then he once again tried to make plans and you said "in a few days". Now you're upset that he didn't try to pin you down further? Holy shit, why don't you try putting in just a tiny bit of initiative if you are so interested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"So it's up to him to suggest concrete plans? Why don't you take the initiative, OP? His response was perfectly reasonable."

Oh come on, this guy's totally playing. If you ask if someone is free for a date and the response is "yes, I'm free on X day," but you never follow up with a suggestion for doing something specific, then you're not really interested. If you do that multiple times, you are just stringing someone along while managing someone else.

OP, a guy who really wants to see you will make sure he makes specific plans with you with a decent amount of advanced notice. You could continue to play games with this one, but what's the point?

Does it make a difference if he already approached me with something specific but wanted to know when I'm free and I say in a few days starting on x day?

[Anonymous]

wow