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Newly pregnant. Looking to hire housekeeper/nanny
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Anonymous
Np. Eh I kind of disagree here. I think it might be beneficial for them to have 2 kids total so at least the kids have each other. It would probably be better for them to be close in age so they can kind of band together during thier childhood. I feel sorry for her older child growing up as a lonely only with parents who are almost never around. |
Anonymous
| Au pairs can work 45 hours/week, but they need some consecutive time off. Can you commit to one of you being home/available something like Sunday and Monday evenings? If so, the nanny could do something like 7:30 am - 4:30 pm M-F and the au pair could do 2-8:30 tues-fr plus coverage 9-5 Sat and Sun. Not the life I would want and you are screwed if someone quits or you don't like one of them, but it could be doable. |
Anonymous
*i think you need some overlap time so that the chores can get done. It is hard with a baby to do everything. |
Anonymous
I could definitely do this. I would need the nanny to come in before 7 though because that's when I leave the house so I can leave the office at 7. I wouldn't need full time coverage on the weekends, maybe just 4-5 hours each day. |
Anonymous
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I second the idea for a fulltime nanny and an au pair. I believe that is the only way you are going to get the time you need covered.
It is unusual for a nanny to do any housekeeping other than tidying and children's laundry so you may want to move to a weekly cleaning service. Keep in mind you have to pay state and federal taxes, unemployment insurance, overtime at time and a half and one other type of insurance in you are in MD and DC. We have our nanny for 50 hours per week and it is about 60k all in (and my kids are in school full time). Don't forget to add classes or preschool for socialization when they are about two (we paid $15k for preschool per year). Add an au pair and it is about $15k more. One thing I think you and your partner need to get your head around is that you can't outsource everything. There are going to be some things that only a parent can do. After your child has been up all night throwing up they don't want anyone but a parent. Same thing with Dr.s appt.; important info is shared so you can't miss all of them. The list goes on. You may want to have a discussion with your partner now on how your going to handle those situations so resentment doesn't build up. I'm not saying this to criticize you, but to warn you that life changes with a baby and it takes a lot to make it work when you have two parents with intense careers. My DH and I are in this situation and we have decided to have full time help (nanny, housekeeper, etc.), but we both had to take turns dialing our career back a bit to make sure sure we have a family life. Our kids are cute and funny and we really like spending time with them 
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Anonymous
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I'm voting full time nanny and au pair, too. You sound like you would need a person who was ready at the drop of a hat to be default parent- which the au pair could do.
You may scoff, but you might just find some of your priorities shift as this year rolls on. Also, start making plans in case you do. |
Anonymous
Ok, just move the hours around a bit. 6:30 am - 3:30 for nanny; au pair does 1:30- 8:30 Tu-F plus some weekend hours. Work with an agency like White House Nannies to find an experienced career nanny who has worked with families like yours before. You need an excellent person. |
Anonymous
| I agree, you are going to have to get a top notch nanny. Care.com is not going to cut it in this situation. In my experience you get what you pay for when you hire a nanny. When the kids went to school fulltime we tried to go with a cheaper and less qualified nanny and it was a disaster. |
Anonymous
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You can do it OP! Take as long a maternity leave as you can, though this is more for you than for the baby. It's hard to leave an infant behind.
In my experience so far, I actually find that my kid needs me more at 3.5 years old than he did as an infant. As an infant he was 10 hrs/day with a nanny and went to bed early, and that didn't feel to bad. But now that he's older and more aware, going even a day without doing bedtime is really hard. So, you might find that your needs change as time progresses. But in any event, it's probably a good idea to carve out a work & home routine that allows you to get home predictably at 6pm every night so you can have a solid 2-3 hour block with your kid. Leaving the office at 7 is just too late - you might literally never see your child if they have an early bedtime. Then after bedtime, you get back online. You can also leave to get into work very early (and this is where the live-in au pair will really be helpful if you can just get up and go at 6am.) |
Anonymous
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So you want coverage M-F from 7am-7pm (basically the waking hours of the child). Then you also want coverage over the weekend. I'm sorry but why exactly are you having a child if you're never going to see them?
Either way, yes you need 2 people if you want someone to watch your child for 60-70 hours a week. |
Anonymous
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You need a full time nanny. My nanny works 8am to 5:30pm, but in my searches for a nanny, I came across and interviewed several who would happily have worked longer hours (obviously for more pay). If you can offer accommodation as well, that could help increase the flexibility a nanny may be willing to offer. I'm not sure that you really want 2 people around - it is obviously great for coverage but getting the dynamic of the 2 people right may be difficult.
I'd also add that you and your husband may feel differently about how you want to parent (the 50s dad thing) once the baby is here. You may not, but just bear in mind that your mindset may change somewhat. |
Anonymous
| I'm the PP at 9:24, just adding that the easiest way to find a well-qualified nanny is probably to use an agency like White House Nannies - I spoke to them and they seemed great. However, if you are willing to put the time in yourself, then you will find the same nannies, and other equally qualified ones, on care.com. Most nannies put themselves onto all the systems and agencies. You will need to sift through, but you can certainly find a well-qualified and experienced nanny through those sites (I have!) |
Anonymous
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I have a nanny like you describe for 50hrs/wk. Her hourly rate is $16.50 plus OT (so avg around $18 or so). You have to pay hourly and OT per Federal law, BTW. A nanny cannot be exempt.
I think more than 50 hrs becomes hard to find. Can't you finish your at home work after your kid is sleeping? That's what I do. Don't know what to say about weekends, since we rarely use a sitter (and just for date nights). With your jobs and priorities, you will need back up care since nannies are humans who get sick. I personally wouldn't go with an au pair for a new born...not to mention you are seeking a level of responsibility that would be better met by an experienced nanny. BTW ours does not take DD to Doctor etc, that may be harder to find. In addition to childcare she grocery shops, cooks dinner (and lunch for DD), does dishes, washes DD's clothes and folds our laundry (we wash our own clothes at night), and generally tidied up. She has occasionally run errands like drooping something at UPS, but not often. |
Anonymous
Pp here...I hired my nanny through care.com...but we don't live in the city. I'd expect to pay 10-20% more if we did. We do pay her on the books, have some paid sick leave, and an annual bonus. We don't provide healthcare, and we started her at more than she asked, with annual raise. |
Anonymous
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I was a nanny for a wonderful family, whom I loved dearly. I worked for them nearly 55 hours a week...7:30am-6pm. Mother and father had very high stress and demanding careers but they were DEFINITELY the "default" parent. My jobs: ~get children dressed and to school ~stayed home with 3 year old full time ~light cleaning ~cooked breakfast and lunch for children and dinner for family ~did children's laundry ~homework, school paperwork, kept family organized and up to date on school info (I was a teacher so I knew the importance of this) ~girl scouts, soccer, gymnastics, etc. I did NOT do sick care. If the children were sick beyond the average cold, then it was on the parents. I didn't do doctors appointments. |