Advice on school options for violent child

[Anonymous]

How many days has your DS been suspended this school year? Once he gets to 10, there are several protections in place. If he is at or close to 10, you might want to consult with a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Many of us know the struggle you face and how difficult it is. You are not alone.

Are you working with an advocate/consultant? If not, I strongly urge you to check the archives and find one that works in FCPS. You should not navigate this road by yourself - and by that I mean you cannot rely on FCPS to do what is best for your DS. While there are many talented and caring educators, there are even more pressures on them that lead to them pushing/advocating directions that better suit their needs than your DCs. They many not even offer choices that are available. You need guidance and assistance from someone whose only concern is what's in the best interest of your DS. You, unfortunately, don't likely have the time or resources to learn what you need to learn in order to determine this. A good advocate/consultant will also have contacts in the medical community to help you find a great person to help with medication management.

My advice is not to make any big educational decisions until you get an advocate/consultant. Hugs.

I agree. Getting him to an ED or alternative center is hundred times easier than getting him back Into mainstream school. The bar to return is set so high that it is essentially impossible. I have known several families try for years to get their children back to a neighborhood school once their children were definitely capable but no one in FCPS was willing to take a chance. They spent the rest of their schooling in the alternative setting. The advanced academics are not available or not really as rigors there either.

[Anonymous]

I think he may be too old for play therapy at this point. I would look in to CBT for the anxiety and also possibly at ABA if your insurance will cover it. ABA is often used for more basic life functions but there are more and more providers that use it for other types of behaviors in very high functioning children.

A psychologist may also be able to help make sure your son is feeling good about himself during this transition. I know a few children who have become depressed over their inability to control their impulsive behavior.

A few weeks ago I saw a poor child who looked to be around your DC's age who had an outburst. After he stopped he began hitting himself on the head and crying about how dumb he is. His parent was trying to comfort him but he clearly had to get this idea from somewhere and it's almost definitely his teachers where kids this age spend most of his time.

I had to turn away for a minute because I was starting to cry myself. A child should never ever have to feel that way about himself and if you do one thing I would make sure your son knows how "good" he is even though his behaviors need some improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone who has replied. Sounds like Adderall is not helping and possibly hindering my son. We will see his psychiatrist this Thursday and work on stopping this drug. Our doc is a pediatric psychiatrist and we are very happy with him. We had our son in play therapy for over a year and we felt we got nothing out if nor did he beyond doing fun crafts each week. We switched to a new psychologist a few months ago who is focused on results and he has been very helpful. He is the one who thinks anxiety is the major issue at play. We had a neuro-psych done already but apparently it wasn't good and my son's current psychologist is encouraging us to have it redone. We plan to do so. I will reach out to Dr. Black tomorrow.

We haven't hired an advocate yet, but I will do so this week - any suggestions for one who has experience in FCPS? We want our kid to get the tools he needs to succeed socially. Academics are definitely second right now. We just had a FBA done but we haven't really had a chance to get the BIP in place as he has been suspended twice in one week. The BIP was finalized on a Friday about 5:30 and then on Monday he was suspended for two days when he got in from an incident he had while he was waiting for us when we were in the IEP meeting. Sigh. I feel like the school isn't giving us a chance to get it started. Of course, I don't blame them when it comes to safety as my son is hurting other kids. It is frustrating.

I am so grateful for your input. I cried reading the replies - as I am sure every one of you can relate - this is so very hard emotionally. I am a bit of wreck.

I agree that the adderall is possibly making things worse. Are many of the issues/behaviors occurring a few hours after he has taken the adderall? I am an adult who takes adderall and I know that when it is wearing off, I get very very short tempered. However, as an adult, I know how to control my short temper. A child can not control a short temper created by medication.

I would absolutely look into ABA/Behavioral therapy. My son is almost 5 with ASD and we have been doing ABA (a natural environment - newer type model) for 1 year. It has been life changing. He loves to go to ABA. He likes to learn and he has learned how to communicate better and interact with others better. We (parents and teachers) have also learned better ways to communicate with him, tools to use to increase his good behavior (we use a behavior chart where he earns tokens). The behavior chart started really small {ex: circle time, he received 4 stickers if he 1. sat in his chair, 2. controlled his body (stayed in his seat), 3. at least watched the teacher (didn't actually have to sing/talk etc), 4. stayed the entire 10 minute}. Now he gets 1 token for attending and participating in the entire 15 minute circle time. The behavioral therapist has created a plan that grows with him.

Hugs to you. Hoping things get better very very soon.

[Anonymous]

I would reccommend you call Sharon Weiss. She is a behaviorist and often acts as an advocate for families at FCPS. She will help you. Ask the psychiatrist about an SSRI like Prozac. This could help with the anxiety/rigidity. Also, you may want to think about his diet. Does he drink a lot of milk- eat a lot of yogurt? Too much casein can hamper the ability to cope.

[Anonymous]

Are they suggesting you move him to a school with the self-contained ED classes (they call it the "comprehensive services site"). ?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to fix the medications and have an FBA done before you think about changing the school placement.

I'm wondering if the side effects from the Adderall is cancelling out the Risperdal. Has your psychiatrist suggested something like Prozac + Risperdal and then adding in a non-stimulant ADHD med? Has he been on Intuniv?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Many of us know the struggle you face and how difficult it is. You are not alone.

Are you working with an advocate/consultant? If not, I strongly urge you to check the archives and find one that works in FCPS. You should not navigate this road by yourself - and by that I mean you cannot rely on FCPS to do what is best for your DS. While there are many talented and caring educators, there are even more pressures on them that lead to them pushing/advocating directions that better suit their needs than your DCs. They many not even offer choices that are available. You need guidance and assistance from someone whose only concern is what's in the best interest of your DS. You, unfortunately, don't likely have the time or resources to learn what you need to learn in order to determine this. A good advocate/consultant will also have contacts in the medical community to help you find a great person to help with medication management.

My advice is not to make any big educational decisions until you get an advocate/consultant. Hugs.

I agree. Getting him to an ED or alternative center is hundred times easier than getting him back Into mainstream school. The bar to return is set so high that it is essentially impossible. I have known several families try for years to get their children back to a neighborhood school once their children were definitely capable but no one in FCPS was willing to take a chance. They spent the rest of their schooling in the alternative setting. The advanced academics are not available or not really as rigors there either.

This response has really nothing to do with getting a consultant. It won't be impossible to return to the mainstream, but you need to do what's best in the here and now, and mainstream sounds like it definitely isn't it. If things are bad now, I can't imagine them getting any better where you are. Your kid needs a change in environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they suggesting you move him to a school with the self-contained ED classes (they call it the "comprehensive services site"). ?

Yes, this is what they are suggesting for my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Many of us know the struggle you face and how difficult it is. You are not alone.

Are you working with an advocate/consultant? If not, I strongly urge you to check the archives and find one that works in FCPS. You should not navigate this road by yourself - and by that I mean you cannot rely on FCPS to do what is best for your DS. While there are many talented and caring educators, there are even more pressures on them that lead to them pushing/advocating directions that better suit their needs than your DCs. They many not even offer choices that are available. You need guidance and assistance from someone whose only concern is what's in the best interest of your DS. You, unfortunately, don't likely have the time or resources to learn what you need to learn in order to determine this. A good advocate/consultant will also have contacts in the medical community to help you find a great person to help with medication management.

My advice is not to make any big educational decisions until you get an advocate/consultant. Hugs.

I agree. Getting him to an ED or alternative center is hundred times easier than getting him back Into mainstream school. The bar to return is set so high that it is essentially impossible. I have known several families try for years to get their children back to a neighborhood school once their children were definitely capable but no one in FCPS was willing to take a chance. They spent the rest of their schooling in the alternative setting. The advanced academics are not available or not really as rigors there either.

This response has really nothing to do with getting a consultant. It won't be impossible to return to the mainstream, but you need to do what's best in the here and now, and mainstream sounds like it definitely isn't it. If things are bad now, I can't imagine them getting any better where you are. Your kid needs a change in environment.

That is not necessarily true. We had similar issues last yr at this time with my DS with ASD/ADHD and once the FBA\BIP was in place, DS is done very well this year in third grade still at the immersion language school fully mainstreamed. In our case, the main issue was an new inexperienced Sp Ed teacher. She is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many days has your DS been suspended this school year? Once he gets to 10, there are several protections in place. If he is at or close to 10, you might want to consult with a lawyer.

He is up to seven days now. I know we will meet when it reaches ten days. I am going to look for an advocate this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many days has your DS been suspended this school year? Once he gets to 10, there are several protections in place. If he is at or close to 10, you might want to consult with a lawyer.

He is up to seven days now. I know we will meet when it reaches ten days. I am going to look for an advocate this week.

I don't know if she works in Virginia, but I like Laura Solomon when the issue is changing placement. She's tough and no-nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Risperdal can cause anxiety and other cognitive and physical side effects that may be making him more reactive.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I have been through same and would be happy to talk to you off-line. Do you have an anon email address?

[Anonymous]

I'm reading with interest, as this is our current situation. You're not alone. I'm sorry this is happening.