Advice on school options for violent child

[Anonymous]

I don't think debating semantics is helpful to OP. If you have a great psychologist referral for someone who helps kids with these kinds of issues, that would be helpful. She know her kid needs help, that's why she posted in the first place!

[Anonymous]

How is the FBA and the behavioral intervention plan going, OP?

[Anonymous]

NP and I've read through all the posts and I don't think anyone is downplaying the seriousness of the behavior on either side of the wording discussion and to suggest otherwise seems pretty ignorant or that you have some sort of agenda here. Agree with PP that this is not helpful to OP.

I wanted to suggest to OP that CBT may be helpful to her child so that he can begin to understand himself why he's behaving this way. He's smart and in 3rd and that's old enough to start self reflecting.

I'm not the person you're responding to but I agree with her. I'm not sure why this has touched such a nerve with you and I don't know why you are so invested in controlling the discussion. It appears the two sides to this discussion are those who are downplaying the seriousness of the behavior by calling it merely 'aggressive' and explaining it as 'sensory issues' or 'he was terrified' or 'context'. There are others (me included) who are believe it is more serious because, from OP's posts, these behaviors occur across environments, are not new and she sometimes thinks he does it to be mean. The hard pinch he gave to his sibling is atypical behavior for a third grader. This child needs interventions and not just a change in environment or teacher. OP is right to be concerned and actively seeking
assistance.

He isn't violent most of the time but sometimes I do think he does some actions to be mean when he doesn't get his way. For example, tonight, his little brother was talking and he wanted him to stop so he pinched him hard. Right in front of his father.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It has been a while since I posted. It has been a very rough time. In a nutshell, we have decided to move our son to a CSS site and he starts this week. His behavior was improving on the new medicine (Lexipro) but he'd still have incidences including one that he wanted to kill himself. Clearly the AAP center was not working for him. We are hopeful that the new school will help him. We did hire an education consultant and her thought is that the CSS site will be a good fit for him. We will continue to have her with us at IEP meetings to help us out. We are also in the process of redoing his neuropsych evaluation. We have been told several times that the first one he had done was not that great so we are having it redone. I am very grateful for all your input. This is truly the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. We just want what's best for him but it is quite difficult to figure that out! I will write more about his experiences soon.

[Anonymous]

I hope things work out for your DS, OP. What is a CSS site?

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP! Thanks for updating us. Thinking of you and your son!

[Anonymous]

I wrote earlier about my 3rd grader being in a FCPS ED class, and what a great program it is for us. My child's class has a new student starting today, so if that is your son, take care in knowing he's going to have great teachers and a wonderful support system in the program (who will deal with the behavior issues while also challenging him academically). And even though the kids in the program are there because they have challenges themselves, they are still a great group of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote earlier about my 3rd grader being in a FCPS ED class, and what a great program it is for us. My child's class has a new student starting today, so if that is your son, take care in knowing he's going to have great teachers and a wonderful support system in the program (who will deal with the behavior issues while also challenging him academically). And even though the kids in the program are there because they have challenges themselves, they are still a great group of kids.

Thank you. It is likely my son as he was starting today and I doubt there would be more than one 3rd grader boy joining a FCPS ED class today. I am so very grateful to hear it has worked well for your son. My son's classroom teacher has been wonderful so far in communicating with us. She told us that several of the kids wrote my son welcome notes for him and that all the boys were excited about him joining the class. I am more hopeful now, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope things work out for your DS, OP. What is a CSS site?

A CSS is a comprehensive services site and they are specifically for kids who might need more hands on assistance.

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. Medication worked for us but we were researching all the options before things really kicked in. I know some boys who started in the CSS but were basically kicked out to general/AAP after a few years of maturity and behavior improvement. So you never know.

[Anonymous]

OP - I know our experience with Lexapro has been with an adult daughter, but she has been on it for over a decade and it was safe enough for her doctor to keep her on ti for a pregnancy with twins. She had gone through several other medications, and some times it just takes finding the right combo. There are possible side effects of younger children being on them so just keep aware and the idea of your son being in a comprehensive center is really important. He will have the supports there to help him learn self-regulation, work through down times and have a staff that knows how to intervene immediately with the skills needed to keep all safe within a more positive looking framework. I would also say that have access to a psychologist trained to work with his stage in life is also key as "a safe outlet." Today, our daughter has a psychologist who herself works full-time, has children in school and can understand the particular issues of work/life balance, twins with different strengths and just serve as a way to diffuse tension before it builds up.

It is difficult at any age and heart-breaking to see any child deal with mental health issues, but key to remember no different than if diagnosed with other serious physical health conditions. DS will be in an academic setting where he will have the best chance to gain the skills he need for a lifetime in emotional, social and behavioral skills as well as academics. One other issues are brought into more of a balance, you can always supplement if there are areas lacking. Just learn to address small issues before they mushroom.

[Anonymous]

The class size is a huge factor in the CSS programs in FCPS. The classes are staffed based on special education numbers in the school overall (discounting the severely disabled kids). So the building principal gets so many teachers per how many special ed kids they have, whether they are in the LD pull-out program or the CSS. The people at Gatehouse that decide the staffing don't pay any attention to what grades the kids are in. They don't care that there are three grade levels in one self-contained room with 12 kids. They aren't giving another teacher until the building total goes up enough to qualify for another teacher. Meanwhile, the kids in that class are not getting enough individual attention and act out. It would be much more cost-effective to have smaller classes so that less kids are referred to a more restrictive environment, which costs a lot more. Private school tuition for these kids is astronomical, and is paid for by FCPS. If a lot of those kids were simply in smaller CSS classes, they could be maintained in public school. My two long term foster kids were both in the CSS at different times. The one in a class of six was mainstreamed after two solid years of remediation and help, and the one that was in a class with 12 kids ended up having to go to a more restrictive setting, because he did not get enough individual help and the teacher was constantly out of the room trying to calm down tantrumming kids. Class size makes such a difference in special ed.

[Anonymous]

OP, Lexapro worked well for my adolescent, but made me flat. So flat that I actually was a bit scary. Don 't be afraid to keep tweaking meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Risperdal can cause anxiety and other cognitive and physical side effects that may be making him more reactive.

Is this true? I thought the main purpose of Risperdal was as a sedative.

It is an anti-psychotic with many serious side effects.

With commercials inviting users to join class-action lawsuits

[Anonymous]

No sane person puts a child on Risperdal (or any other psychiatric medication) lightly. The benefits must outweigh the risks. A kid who needs Risperdal is a kid who is really struggling.