Husband wants to visit a female friend in another state w/o me

[Anonymous]

Ugh! This is why I have lost 1/2 of my male friends, because their wives are insecure.

[Anonymous]

You are not being clear. Did he invite you along, you declined and he decided to go on his own? Or did he never invite you at all and just decided to go by himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they are having an affair. There I said it for you. Figure it out

OP here. Not at all.

Then why are you acting this way?

[Anonymous]

How much is this trip going to cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're being ridiculous. He likely regrets not meeting up with her when he was close by. Hence the trip now.

Poor guy, this is a lose lose situation for him. Although given your posts, he's likely used to it.

OP here. How does he regret it? He had the opportunity was lazy then not wanting to drive. So a month later he goes back for her?

I'm not sure why you are so confused. Your husband has an old friend. He had the chance to see her when he was nearby, but for whatever reason he didn't. Now, a month later he regrets not getting a chance to catch up with her. So he's planning a trip to visit.

Look, clearly we are missing out on something because no one can figure out why you're so upset. Do you have kids and he'd be leaving you alone with them for a weekend and you're not ok with this? Do either of you work every other weekend and you are annoyed that you're missing out on a weekend together? I mean, if you want to give us more context then perhaps we can give you better advice.

[Anonymous]

Op, your husband gets to have friends of his own, even if you don't like all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your husband gets to have friends of his own, even if you don't like all of them.

+1 Sorry OP. You are in the wrong on this one.

[Anonymous]

You don't like her because she didn't try to be your friend too. I suspect you feel disrespected.

You know what, though? She doesn't owe you respect just because you married her friend. If anything, it's the other way around. You married her friend. You should be gracious to his friends. You certainly shouldn't be saying "I don't like this person, therefore you will not see her."

Flip the situation around. Make it a platonic male friend from your childhood who your husband randomly decided he didn't like and said that you shouldn't see. Would you be cool with that? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

The day my husband chooses to flt to another state to see an old childhood girl friend is the day he can pack his rags and stay at her house forever.

I'm on your side OP. Your husband is a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The day my husband chooses to flt to another state to see an old childhood girl friend is the day he can pack his rags and stay at her house forever.

I'm on your side OP. Your husband is a dick.

+1, that sounds like affair potential. I'd tell him to take the kids on the trip and give you the day off. that way she can see what shared custody is like.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that he said no to visiting her with you when he was down there because he knows you don't like her and he didn't want you to then complain about taking the time to see her. He probably wants to talk openly with her about your problem with their friendship - and not in front of you. You don't have to like that, but people often talk to friends about spouses - that's life. OP,would you have the same problem given all the same facts if the friend were a guy? If not, then this really is about trust / jealousy. You can't win this one. I have deferred far too much to my wife over the years om visiting even local male friends, and that too has huge negativevconsequences over time. You give space or he will resent you. And if it's all a sham and he is trying to have a fling with her, your focus should be on why. Fighting over the trip won't help.

[Anonymous]

No one said this was a an ex-girlfriend. OP said it wad a friend who is a girl who grew up with him. Different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you go with him?

OP here. Because i do not like the female friend and see no reason in why we need to visit her.

It doesn't matter if you like her. She is hid friend. If you don't want yo go, then he goes alone. Are you always this selfish and self-absorbed. Everything cannot always be about what you want.

OP here. He had an opportunity to visit. He decided not to go. I even said they can each drive one hour each way and we can meet at a restaurant. He said no but is now planning to go back down there again to visit. It would still be a two hour drive so wtf, yes im pissed

I sort of get it. If you are this upset over the situation your husbands loyalty lies with you and he shouldn't go.

This seemed pretty damned if you do damned if you don't though. There is going to be resentment and bullshit no matter what takes place.

Also by the time a man is grown and married he has usually moved on from needing so desperately to make pilgrimages to see old friends. Especially female friends.

It doesn't have anything to do with cheating its about priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you go with him?

OP here. Because i do not like the female friend and see no reason in why we need to visit her.

The reason to visit her is because he DOES like the friend. Can't you understand someone liking strawberry ice cream even if you only like chocolate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh! This is why I have lost 1/2 of my male friends, because their wives are insecure.

No it is because they have moved on and have wives and families and other priorities now.