My friend tried to start an affair with my husband

[Anonymous]

She was testing. She wanted to see if her feelings were reciprocated. If yes, then perhaps her feelings about stealing someone's husband would change. I doubt she wanted an affair! I think she wanted your husband, OP!

You and your DH need to stay far, far away from this woman. Cut her off now, completely and totally. Danger danger!

She needs therapy. If it were just a crush, she would not have revealed her inappropriate feelings for your DH, nor would she have taken the dramatic step of asking him to get off the bus and talk with her so she could reveal her feelings. Some friendships are not worth having, and this is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see where she tried to start an affair. She didn't invite him back to her place, try to kiss him, or even say "don't tell your wife."

I would limit contact.

She was hoping he would take her bait. I bet she was shocked when he didn't.

I would END all contact with someone who wanted my DH.

OP's DH doesn't want her around and neither does OP. Why keep her around?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she wants to have a threesome with you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

Your husband's gut feeling was right- she's batshit crazy. She developed feelings so strong that she can't stand to be around him anymore after a few playdates and cordial hellos? Nuckin Futs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she wants to have a threesome with you and your husband.

No she doesn't; PP is just being silly. This woman is a train wreck waiting to happen. Get far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband's gut feeling was right- she's batshit crazy. She developed feelings so strong that she can't stand to be around him anymore after a few playdates and cordial hellos? Nuckin Futs.

Sounds like they were A LOT more involved with each other's lives than a few play dates and casual hellos.

While I agree that she should have kept it to herself, it doesn't sound like she actually did anything wrong.

I also find it interesting that no one has mentioned the impact this will have on the kids in this situation. Maybe put these girls first and let them continue to be friends.

[Anonymous]

I just assume that all of my wife's friends want to sleep with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I also find it interesting that no one has mentioned the impact this will have on the kids in this situation. Maybe put these girls first and let them continue to be friends.

Um, no. They are toddlers. they will get over it. The relationship between OP and her husband is more important. OP cut off all contact and find some mom groups or places you can take your toddler to meet other moms your age.

[Anonymous]

Poor woman, she actually seems immature and socially clueless. (Perhaps not Asperger's, but something that affects socialization.)

From your description of events, I would say that she did not intend an affair, but was sufficiently socially immature to talk to your husband about her feelings.
You wrote that your husband thought from the first that she was "weird and awkward". Well, he was right.

Don't be angry. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Well that's pretty unsettling! And a bummer to lose a potential new friend.

But it sure reflects well on your marriage, so that's one silver lining. And I'm always grateful when people show their true colors early enough to save myself any additional anguish.

Write her off, go find some other local mothers, hug your husband, and turn it into a funny story you and he can laugh about.

[Anonymous]

She should have kept that information to herself. There are a lot of different people out there, OP. Unfortunately you can't just assume someone is "good friend" material just because they live across the hall (or have a kid your kid's age). You need to spend time getting to know someone -- and if you realize they are not good for you or your family, then move on. I would have nothing to do with this person ever again.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else, she was not a "good friend." A good friend does not develop a deep romantic connection with your DH. Also agree -- kudos to you and your DH for having good communication and to your DH for bringing forward news that he knew would be upsetting, but had to be shared.

I hope you are able to make new friends as time goes on. Clearly, this woman easily betrayed you (by going to your DH with this secret she had to share). True friends are like family -- you weather some good and some bad. She was a new friend who ruined the budding friendship b/c of her romantic feelings. Buh bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I wrong that this forum is for posts dealing with issues in a romantic relationship? I don't want to accidentally post in the wrong place again, but all the threads I've seen regarding friendships have mostly been in off topic.

Yes. This forum includes friendships, acquaintances, and any other other relationships.

[Anonymous]

Be glad that now you know and your husband handled it so well. Friendship over, and I hope the Easter invitation is now withdrawn. "Seeing as how you've developed romantic feelings for Jack, we've agreed it would be inappropriate for you to attend". Then no more contact at all.

[Anonymous]

Does it make you hotter for your husband? Not only is he a stand up guy and father, he's attractive to other women!