Is HE the AH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Amen!!! Like who are all of those losers thinking they have any business judging this woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not irresponsible if she’s otherwise a good mom. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first.

Different story if she’s like Erika Kirk, like PP mentioned.

She can’t be a good mom. A good mom doesn’t leave her kids in the middle of the school week to go party in Vegas.
My initial reaction not knowing more details would be a big red flag.

Maybe you’ll get to be in her shoes one day and we can tell you what a shitty mom you are to take a couple of days to yourself after holding everything together for everyone. You’re a horrible person.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a coworker who lost her husband unexpectedly last year. She has 2 middle school aged kids. Honestly I’ve been kind of impressed watching her keep everything going because I can barely manage life with 2 adults in the house sometimes.

Anyway she recently went to Vegas with a friend for a concert that sounded kind of once in a lifetime and I was excited for her . I mentioned it to DH and his immediate reaction surprised me. He said it sounded irresponsible for a single mom to leave her kids and take off work in the middle of the week to go to a concert.

I was honestly kind of shocked by the reaction and it’s really been bothering me since. I know someone watched the kids, maybe grandparents or a friend, I didn’t ask details. She also travels for work a few times a year but when I mentioned that he said “that’s different.”

I don’t know. Is he the AH here or is this actually irresponsible and I’m looking at it wrong?

As a widow, I think you're DH is the AH. As hard as you think it is to manage with only 1 adult, it is exponentially harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

A pp again.

Note: she’s attending a concert. Flights and hotel are often less in LV than other venues. Even if the cheap buffets are things of the past.

It wouldn’t be my personal destination choice. However, a girl friend she can be herself with and an easy trip (direct flight,etc.) is not for me to judge. My husband would be surprised if I took off to LV with friends, but he’d never doubt I’d be unfaithful. You are throwing your own issues into this. Or trolling.

If the widow chooses to live it up, not your place to judge.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why everyone assumes LV is some nefarious place. My friend won a package to go see Backstreet Boys and invited me to go along. We laid by the pool, had some nice meals, a few drinks, and saw the show. There was nothing crazy about it and certainly nothing that I would have held from DH.

[Anonymous]

Obviously widows are supposed to throw themselves into the funeral pyre with the deceased. She is not supposed to have a life after the loss of a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously widows are supposed to throw themselves into the funeral pyre with the deceased. She is not supposed to have a life after the loss of a spouse.

Right!!??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

The OP said it was for kind of once in a lifetime concert experience. If a band you love is playing at the Sphere for a short time, you go. I did.

I'm not saying it was at the Sphere, but Vegas is so much more than just drinking and gambling. I've gone with my girlfriends several times and we have never done more than video poker and shows.

You people are seriousnly weird

NP here and I agree. The PPs above who think anyone going to Vegas is having casual hookups is particularly weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

The OP said it was for kind of once in a lifetime concert experience. If a band you love is playing at the Sphere for a short time, you go. I did.

I'm not saying it was at the Sphere, but Vegas is so much more than just drinking and gambling. I've gone with my girlfriends several times and we have never done more than video poker and shows.

You people are seriousnly weird

+ 1 though honestly I think its just one repeat weirdo poster.

I’m not by any stretch a huge Vegas fan but have ended up there on a couple of occasions for reunions with college friends in large part because it has affordable/direct flights from almost anywhere. Not to mention warm weather, reasonably priced hotels with nice pools, spas and other amenities, great restaurants and a wide range of concerts/shows.

No one in our group was looking to hook up, drink excessively, or do much if any gambling.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I took our parents to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary in Vegas snd that was more than 20 years ago. IDK who is holding out for the vision that Vegas is a Debauchery Only Zone but it’s very Victorian.

It’s basically the equivalent of being on a cruise ship, but minus the remoteness and the inevitable norovirus. You can be back to nearly anywhere in the lower 48 from Vegas in less than 12 hours, nearly all hotel and restaurant staff are union, and if you get a rental car you are about 1/2 hr drive from one of the most majestic state parks in the West.

Your husband is, in fact, the AH.

[Anonymous]

That comment from your DH is such a turn off.
What life has he been living to even say such thing!
Then again, I know a lot of men and women who would have said something like that.
What he said has nothing to do with the woman did. He just made himself ugly.
Don't you wish he had said that he was glad she got some time off and enjoyed herself.

[Anonymous]

He is the AH. And so are many of you PPs. She’s a responsible widowed mom. There is nothing wrong with Vegas. You all immediately think she went to like prostitute herself. Please. Would it have been better if she went to Naples FL? How do you know she didn’t go to an Eagles Concert?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone assumes LV is some nefarious place. My friend won a package to go see Backstreet Boys and invited me to go along. We laid by the pool, had some nice meals, a few drinks, and saw the show. There was nothing crazy about it and certainly nothing that I would have held from DH.

I don’t drink and I’ve been to Vegas with a friend when I was young and single. Same as you, we had dinner at le cirque, went to see Cirque de Soleil, laid out by the pool and drove to the Grand Canyon the next day. I also have had several residencies I would have loved to see if I could. Would definitely fly to Vegas with a friend to see some of my all time favorite artists. People are obviously either completely insane or getting off on trolling with this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

The OP said it was for kind of once in a lifetime concert experience. If a band you love is playing at the Sphere for a short time, you go. I did.

I'm not saying it was at the Sphere, but Vegas is so much more than just drinking and gambling. I've gone with my girlfriends several times and we have never done more than video poker and shows.

You people are seriousnly weird

The worst of trashy American consumerist excessive consumption. Perhaps second only to Disney. Of all the things to do with ones time, money and energy--"look at me! I'm seeing a concert in VEGAS BABY! I? a PLAYER!!!!" LOL

[Anonymous]

It’s nothing new that men 1. ascribe sex to everything anyone does, 2. Believe deeper than any other belief they hold that women should be selfless in service to their children and husbands, and should disappear from public view if the service to their family doesn’t involve being their husband’s arm candy.

OP’s DH is a middle of the road POS chauvinist and he’s probably fantasized about screwing the widow before she became a widow. The new development doesn’t square well with hiw his own fantasies have evolved.

OP’s husband is also obviously not pulling his share of the domestic responsibilities or OP wouldn’t feel overwhelmed.