Is HE the AH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

The OP said it was for kind of once in a lifetime concert experience. If a band you love is playing at the Sphere for a short time, you go. I did.

I'm not saying it was at the Sphere, but Vegas is so much more than just drinking and gambling. I've gone with my girlfriends several times and we have never done more than video poker and shows.

You people are seriousnly weird

NP here and I agree. The PPs above who think anyone going to Vegas is having casual hookups is particularly weird.

Agreed. Very weird.

Almost as if they're living in their mother's basement...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP didn't want her husband to "judge" then she shouldn't have asked his opinion about it. People aren't AHS because you ask for their opinion and it doesn't match your own. People who believe others are not allowed to disagree with them are AHS. Op is the AH.

Did she ask his opinion? I’m pretty sure he gave an unsolicited opinion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP didn't want her husband to "judge" then she shouldn't have asked his opinion about it. People aren't AHS because you ask for their opinion and it doesn't match your own. People who believe others are not allowed to disagree with them are AHS. Op is the AH.

If you can read, OP didn't ask for her husband's opinion, she just mentioned the trip to him. So yeah, her husband is the AH. And actually, so are you.

[Anonymous]

Your husband knows this friend and we don't. His reaction has to do with what he already knows and thinks about her and her parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP didn't want her husband to "judge" then she shouldn't have asked his opinion about it. People aren't AHS because you ask for their opinion and it doesn't match your own. People who believe others are not allowed to disagree with them are AHS. Op is the AH.

If you can read, OP didn't ask for her husband's opinion, she just mentioned the trip to him. So yeah, her husband is the AH. And actually, so are you.

If she doesn't care about his opinion why bother posting about it?

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone commenting on it being "the middle of the week" like that matters? When dh and I go on vacation and the grandparents come to babysit, we always go in the middle of the week. It's so much easier for grandparents to babysit while kids are gone all day at school. It's very hard for them on Saturday and Sunday.

How is it different for a single mom to travel with a friend versus a married couple traveling without their kids? As long as the kids are being watched, I don't see how her being single matters. (Although my parents are babysitting because they think it's healthy in a marriage for couples to get away without kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone commenting on it being "the middle of the week" like that matters? When dh and I go on vacation and the grandparents come to babysit, we always go in the middle of the week. It's so much easier for grandparents to babysit while kids are gone all day at school. It's very hard for them on Saturday and Sunday.

How is it different for a single mom to travel with a friend versus a married couple traveling without their kids? As long as the kids are being watched, I don't see how her being single matters. (Although my parents are babysitting because they think it's healthy in a marriage for couples to get away without kids)

How they see it: in a married couple, the wife is serving her husband, because presumably there will be lots of sex for him. A single woman isn't serving a husband, she is doing it for herself. And we can't have women doing nice things for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

,"Hateful". Ok lol. You're obviously delusional because you think you're omniscient. You don't know what your CEO did or didn't do on a trip to Vegas, nor do you know if I feel "hateful" unless I tell you I do. I didn't.

Yes, you are hateful. It's also ironic that you'd tell me I'm not omniscient while assuming that everyone who goes to Vegas is going to drink, gamble and hook up. You have serious issues you need to deal with if you're lashing out at strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’ve been widowed, working and holding your kids lives together, you have zero grounds for judgement.

And if you’re judging, step your behind up and offer to help with concrete items/plans the next time you have a prematurely widowed parent appear in your world. Also keep an eye out for close friends who suddenly think she’s about to husband poach.

It is a miserable place to be.

Actually the judgment has nothing to do with her being a widow. It's with her choice of destination. There's lots of vacations a.person could pick that don't strongly imply excessive drinking, gambling, and casual hook ups. And OPs advocating for this can be judged as well. I wouldn't expect any spouse who cares about their marriage would want their spouse to go on a guys trip or girls trip to Vegas without them

You can spin your hateful judgement any way you want. You’re still a shit person.

No one cares where she went. A 65 year old CEO of my company just came back from a concert in Vegas. She did none of those things. You are not not only evil, you are also very stupid. That’s the worst combo.

The OP said it was for kind of once in a lifetime concert experience. If a band you love is playing at the Sphere for a short time, you go. I did.

I'm not saying it was at the Sphere, but Vegas is so much more than just drinking and gambling. I've gone with my girlfriends several times and we have never done more than video poker and shows.

You people are seriousnly weird

The worst of trashy American consumerist excessive consumption. Perhaps second only to Disney. Of all the things to do with ones time, money and energy--"look at me! I'm seeing a concert in VEGAS BABY! I? a PLAYER!!!!" LOL

You are not well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only trashy people who like to waste money think "going to Vegas" is some kind of special vacation. I kind of feel the same way about people who are obsessed with Disney vacations LOL.

Your husband is probably sending that you too might have a desire to "go to Vegas with your girlie bffs" and he is right to preemptively shut that idea down. You think he's an AH because you do want to do a similar trip and you were just trying to may the foundation. Nothing good happens on trips to Vegas. He is on to you.

Some of you are borderline insane with your weird projections and apparent in ability to actually read the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a coworker who lost her husband unexpectedly last year. She has 2 middle school aged kids. Honestly I’ve been kind of impressed watching her keep everything going because I can barely manage life with 2 adults in the house sometimes.

Anyway she recently went to Vegas with a friend for a concert that sounded kind of once in a lifetime and I was excited for her . I mentioned it to DH and his immediate reaction surprised me. He said it sounded irresponsible for a single mom to leave her kids and take off work in the middle of the week to go to a concert.

I was honestly kind of shocked by the reaction and it’s really been bothering me since. I know someone watched the kids, maybe grandparents or a friend, I didn’t ask details. She also travels for work a few times a year but when I mentioned that he said “that’s different.”

I don’t know. Is he the AH here or is this actually irresponsible and I’m looking at it wrong?

It depends. If money is tight, yes is irresponsable. If she has the money, it’s ok.

However, she could choose to travel with kids to other places. I don’t travel to concerts without my kids.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know what happens in Vegas and it's gross that a single mother would ditch her children for such purposes. DH is right and OP is wrong.

Pretty sure you've never left your own state, but ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

NP. She thinks it's a good thing, he disagrees. That's a normal conversation.