Is HE the AH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know what happens in Vegas and it's gross that a single mother would ditch her children for such purposes. DH is right and OP is wrong.

Do we know what happens in Vegas? Please tell us since you're so, so smart. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for your expert analysis.

Single women often travel for anonymous sex. If that's the reason she's abandoning her children, and it's not unlikely given her choice of destination (she may as well have chosen Miami), she's a bad mother.

LOL. Only a man would think this. I’m a woman, and if I want anonymous sex, I’m not paying several hundred dollars and traveling days for it. I can hop on Tinder and have 100 men offering to come service me tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know what happens in Vegas and it's gross that a single mother would ditch her children for such purposes. DH is right and OP is wrong.

Do we know what happens in Vegas? Please tell us since you're so, so smart. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for your expert analysis.

Single women often travel for anonymous sex. If that's the reason she's abandoning her children, and it's not unlikely given her choice of destination (she may as well have chosen Miami), she's a bad mother.

LOL. Only a man would think this. I’m a woman, and if I want anonymous sex, I’m not paying several hundred dollars and traveling days for it. I can hop on Tinder and have 100 men offering to come service me tonight.

Only 100? I think the record in one day is like 500 or more. Aim higher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know what happens in Vegas and it's gross that a single mother would ditch her children for such purposes. DH is right and OP is wrong.

Do we know what happens in Vegas? Please tell us since you're so, so smart. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for your expert analysis.

Single women often travel for anonymous sex. If that's the reason she's abandoning her children, and it's not unlikely given her choice of destination (she may as well have chosen Miami), she's a bad mother.

Wow, they replied before I got around to replying “their expertise is very narrowly what they would do if they were a single mother.” It’s so hilariously pathetic that so many men are convinced women GAF about Fing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a coworker who lost her husband unexpectedly last year. She has 2 middle school aged kids. Honestly I’ve been kind of impressed watching her keep everything going because I can barely manage life with 2 adults in the house sometimes.

Anyway she recently went to Vegas with a friend for a concert that sounded kind of once in a lifetime and I was excited for her . I mentioned it to DH and his immediate reaction surprised me. He said it sounded irresponsible for a single mom to leave her kids and take off work in the middle of the week to go to a concert.

I was honestly kind of shocked by the reaction and it’s really been bothering me since. I know someone watched the kids, maybe grandparents or a friend, I didn’t ask details. She also travels for work a few times a year but when I mentioned that he said “that’s different.”

I don’t know. Is he the AH here or is this actually irresponsible and I’m looking at it wrong?

Yes he is the AH for having a different opinion than you do..That's against the rules. Divorce immediately.

This is the DCUM answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

[Anonymous]

The husband is an AH. If this is how he views women, it will not allow OP to have fun. OP should divorce him immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

DP. OP's husband did say what was on his mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

And yet, here you are responding to it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

I don’t know, maybe?
Like if I said that our neighbor’s dad died, and DH’s first impulse was to say that old people are a drain on society and it’s good that he died, I would have found that kind of disturbing.
I probably wouldn’t want to tell mutual friends about it, but I might post anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

If you haven’t put more than 20 seconds of thought into something, you don’t need to express your poorly informed opinions. Just go with the flow. Say it’s sad that the kids’ grandpa died and that it’s good the widow gets to do something fun.

Of course, if there is something that you feel strongly about, then you should express your opinion and disagree with your spouse. But if you don’t actually care, then just go with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

If you haven’t put more than 20 seconds of thought into something, you don’t need to express your poorly informed opinions. Just go with the flow. Say it’s sad that the kids’ grandpa died and that it’s good the widow gets to do something fun.

Of course, if there is something that you feel strongly about, then you should express your opinion and disagree with your spouse. But if you don’t actually care, then just go with it.

You guys are really passionate about policing the speech of people in the privacy of their own home. You can’t control whether someone “goes with the flow” exactly the way you want them to or not. And over the minutia of other people’s lives, too! Who wants to live that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

If you haven’t put more than 20 seconds of thought into something, you don’t need to express your poorly informed opinions. Just go with the flow. Say it’s sad that the kids’ grandpa died and that it’s good the widow gets to do something fun.

Of course, if there is something that you feel strongly about, then you should express your opinion and disagree with your spouse. But if you don’t actually care, then just go with it.

You guys are really passionate about policing the speech of people in the privacy of their own home. You can’t control whether someone “goes with the flow” exactly the way you want them to or not. And over the minutia of other people’s lives, too! Who wants to live that way?

People who want to keep having sex live this way. They don’t constantly pick fights with their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady!

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you.

It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation?

Yes. This is how normal people talk. You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day.
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died. He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.” He echoed my opinion back to me. It was totally fine.

Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.

If you haven’t put more than 20 seconds of thought into something, you don’t need to express your poorly informed opinions. Just go with the flow. Say it’s sad that the kids’ grandpa died and that it’s good the widow gets to do something fun.

Of course, if there is something that you feel strongly about, then you should express your opinion and disagree with your spouse. But if you don’t actually care, then just go with it.

No one here cares how much thought he put into it. If he had thought about this for years, people would have the same reaction. People here are mad that he committed the crime of disagreeing with a women (both his wife and the coworker).