SIL physically disciplined daughter - advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no. Last time alone with SIL. And suggest brief convo with her (alternate: your sibling, their spouse) that this was not ok and no corporal punishment for any of your children is ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

Why is free babysitting for family/freinds seen as such an imposition? I never mind babysitting for relatives kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

Why is free babysitting for family/freinds seen as such an imposition? I never mind babysitting for relatives kids.

It’s not an imposition when your family/friends don’t act like entitled @$$holes. OP is DEFINITELY imposing on SIL.

And anyone seriously calling three swats on the leg assault should avoid interacting with other people because they are deeply unhinged and have lost ALL sense of perspective.

[Anonymous]

It’s wrong that your SIL hit your child BUT it’s also wrong that your 6yo was asked to get out of the pool and started crying and wasn’t doing what she was told.
I’d be pissed at my kid if she was invited to swim then behaved like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

Why is everything so transactional on here and spending time with children is always called "free babysitting." Maybe SIL and BIL invited OP's kids over as kids to spend a nice day at the pool with their kids. It really doesn't matter if DD was there as a favor to OP or not. OP should make them aware if she does not believe in corporal punishment, which is a perfectly reasonable boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s wrong that your SIL hit your child BUT it’s also wrong that your 6yo was asked to get out of the pool and started crying and wasn’t doing what she was told.
I’d be pissed at my kid if she was invited to swim then behaved like that.

A kid not wanting to get out of the pool is bad behavior? Do you even have kids?

[Anonymous]

You are not overreacting, this is not your method of discipline. You spoke to the SIL and she downplayed it. Going forward, you either allow your DD to be alone in SIL’s presence or not. The bigger question is, why aren’t you confident in your reaction?

To me, no one is permitted to hit my child. A better choice would have been for your SIL to call you when your child was not listening and asked you to pick her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s wrong that your SIL hit your child BUT it’s also wrong that your 6yo was asked to get out of the pool and started crying and wasn’t doing what she was told.
I’d be pissed at my kid if she was invited to swim then behaved like that.

A kid not wanting to get out of the pool is bad behavior? Do you even have kids?

Crying and carrying on about getting out of the pool IS bad behavior. And if the SIL had put the kid in timeout or whatever that would be fine. But hitting a kid is never ok.

SIL would not be alone with my kid ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

Some of us aren’t so cheap that we’d leave our kids in the hands of a stranger to save a few bucks. But then again, there’s all kinds of parents, PP. Like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

Oh no! Don’t threaten SIL to no longer have the privilege of babysitting OP’s kids for free!

Some of us aren’t so cheap that we’d leave our kids in the hands of a stranger to save a few bucks. But then again, there’s all kinds of parents, PP. Like you.

For some reason “abuser” autocorrected to “stranger.” At any rate, many of us would never subject our children to known abuse, because we’re good parents who care about our kids more than saving money!

[Anonymous]

If the kid is this bad at auntie’s house imagine what a terror she is at home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the last time SIL can be alone with your child(ren).

There is nothing to “address” otherwise.

This “physical discipline” is illegal in most of the world. Make clear to SIL (have husband do if it’s his sister) that she is never to be violent with your child again and then NEVER leave a child with her. It is normal and natural for a child to be disappointed and difficult transitioning from a fun activity. She was probably a bit warn out. So what did this “discipline” teach her. Teaching is the meaning of discipline. It taught her that people love you are allowed to hit you. It taught her that people that are bigger and more powerful than you are allowed to hit you. Did it teach her one thing about how to transition away? Was it responsive to her developmental level? Obviously not. Healthy adults would validate her emotions and help her focus on the next thing.

As of 2025–2026, roughly 65–70 countries have fully banned corporal punishment in all settings. However, over 100 countries still legally allow parents to use physical discipline on children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell SIL and her husband point blank period that you are not OK with any kind of physical discipline, whatsoever, and if that’s a problem, no unsupervised visits.

+1

We do not hit our kids and we certainly do not permit other people to do so.

[Anonymous]

This is reportable in my state. Does SIL have access to other kids? I’d never leave my kid with her again. Not okay. People who love us shouldn’t hit us.