Are you starting to resent your elderly parent being alive?

[Anonymous]

Why do you hate her? Because she’s healthy and you’re not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

If she is healthy, i e doesn’t need assistance with ADL, she can’t. Those are not assisted living, those are for people who need extensive hands on care.

[Anonymous]

Seems like the problem is that she lives with you.

[Anonymous]

You should be mad at your sibling for not helping, not your mother who sounds like she’s doing everything right if she’s pleasant and helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with the threads recently of people sad they still have parents.

while some of us lost our one of ours even before we we born.

ungreatful af.

[Anonymous]

Lots of replies from people who do not live with their parents here! My mom lives with us, she's not that old yet, and I could see it getting to this stage. When she moved in my husband told her "you have a place to live for the rest of your life" and I was like ?!!!?!?!!?!?!

She gets a pension and still has her own home that she rents out, so if she ever needs more supported care we can sell the house to get her into a home. But sometimes it's very annoying to have her underfoot and I think people who are calling OP ugly names need to realize it's easier to love a person from a distance. My mom didn't annoy me at all when she lived 7 states away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids might think the same about you someday. Be careful what you wish for. Karma is real.

I have made arrangements so that this does not happen to my kids. I would never, ever do this to them. I’d rather die than keep them from their career, freedom, and plunge them into poverty.

[Anonymous]

Saddest generations of people who were doted on, made to be the center of lives and family, but then look what happened. They can't muster up the least bit of caring for others. Anyone, not just parents. First, parents will be cut off, but then they are just in the way.

I mean it it the fault of the previous generation, though, if we stop and think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my mother but I never thought she would live this long, now 92 and going healthy strong. She lives with us and is easy going and helpful but my spouse and I are older- mid 60’s. Unlike her, we have ailments.

She can’t afford a nursing home, we can’t afford to pay one for her, my sibling can’t be counted on. I am starting to hate her, I feel awful. I’m at least glad to vent my feelings out here. thanks.

I wish there was an end date where you die in your sleep at 85.

Ok, read the The Giver. And then sign yourself up too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

If she is healthy, i e doesn’t need assistance with ADL, she can’t. Those are not assisted living, those are for people who need extensive hands on care.

At that age she probably can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

He said she had no ailments. You can’t just drop your unwanted mother off in a nursing home. She has to medically qualify.

Being 92, there is probably qualifying factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? No.

Even if my parents live beyond their ability to fully live, I won't resent them for it.

NP here

Well, circle back after you've had a 90 year old living with you for more than two weeks.

If you know, you know.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Hell no. What kind of ingrate are you, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of replies from people who do not live with their parents here! My mom lives with us, she's not that old yet, and I could see it getting to this stage. When she moved in my husband told her "you have a place to live for the rest of your life" and I was like ?!!!?!?!!?!?!

She gets a pension and still has her own home that she rents out, so if she ever needs more supported care we can sell the house to get her into a home. But sometimes it's very annoying to have her underfoot and I think people who are calling OP ugly names need to realize it's easier to love a person from a distance. My mom didn't annoy me at all when she lived 7 states away!

What a lovely DH you have!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have depression OP, and are perhaps resentful that she’s healthier than you. Take some time to work on yourself. Go do something fun with her.