Tell me not to have another baby (please!)
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Anonymous
| Babies grow up fast. You can't keep having babies just to satisfy your yearning for chubby legs and sweet smell. |
Anonymous
| They grow up so quickly. The baby phase is over in a flash. Then what? You’ll want another baby? Enjoy the kids you have, and snuggle other people’s babies. |
Anonymous
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Don't have another baby (kidding. Following request.)
But seriously - as someone who had a child older (because that's when life gave me partner/financial readiness), I'll gently say I take really seriously having another kid 40+. Are you OK if there are health challenges with your child? Or have you talked with your spouse about making a sensitive decision if the NIPT shows something wrong, especially in an environment that is not welcoming to women in these circumstances? Wish you the best with your and spouse's decision. |
Anonymous
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Going against the grain - do it!
We have a “caboose” baby in our family who is wonderful. I treated myself to some ozempic postpartum and to get back to my normal size. The kid is expensive and our most medically challenging baby, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world! |
Anonymous
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You would not believe how often this comes up here! OP, maybe you will find these similar threads helpful.
Go for a 4th when you are 40 years old? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1171061.page 3 kids or 4? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1180238.page Why or why not have a 4th child? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/991351.page Should I have a fourth child? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/778152.page Would you recommend having a 4th child at 41? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/581617.page would you have a 4th child at age 38? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/243361.page |
Anonymous
+100. Do it, OP. This is your last chance. Jobs, finances, pregnancy, and weight are all things that come and go and change, but a baby, you won’t be able to turn the clock back and one. |
Anonymous
| Hmmm I’m 42 and I think all the time how thankful I am to not have a toddler or baby waking me up many nights. I don’t know how people do it - I had a lot more energy for that 10 or so years ago when my kids were little. But yeah the tiny ones are so special. It’s such a special time. I have loved basically every phase of being a mom but I don’t think I could do as well now. |
Anonymous
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If you have one more, what will you do when that one turns three? Someone has to be the last baby.
If you work and already have two, seriously consider what logistics of after school care and activities will look like in late ES/MS. It is no joke. |
Anonymous
| My caboose at 44 is the best thing that ever happened to our family. You can do it! |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you want another baby, not another kid. |
Anonymous
I agree with this take and a little sad. 3 is such an adorable and interesting age. Don't be sad they're no longer a baby, enjoy the preschool age. |
Anonymous
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Having another baby because you like the baby stage isn’t a good enough reason. They turn into toddlers who turn into preschoolers who turn into small kids to tweens to teens to young adults, adults and beyond. You are deciding on creating an entire new life that you won’t be in charge of from whenever they launch until the end of their life.
I have two in HS. One about to leave for college. The teen years haven’t been as bad for me, knock on wood, but my friends around me have kids who have been in rehab, who have attempted suicide, who have serious eating disorders. I have friends whose older kids are full on failure to launch. Consider college costs when you’re calculating that baby, it’s astronomical right now and no guarantees of getting into the state flagships even if you’re a smart kid. So keep perspective—look at the long game. |
Anonymous
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OP it is totally normal to have a hard time saying goodbye to the fertile/pregnancy phase of our lives. It is a time filled with hardship but so much hope and joy and expectation and changes. And biologically, I think our bodies think this is what we were made for (procreating) so the hormones are so strong. Acknowledge all that. I too had a very very hard time letting go and accepting that that phase was over (and some days still daydream about another at almost 41).
You have to ask yourself if your desire for another is because you truly want another child or if it is because you are not ready to let go of that phase. There are good reasons to have a other but the latter is not enough justification imo. |
Anonymous
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This is OP and I appreciate all this feedback. Like I said, logically I do NOT want another baby. But…aforementioned reasons. I do enjoy the preschool age and love my kids where they are (one entering middle school, one in elementary, and my little one). I know it’s financially and physically not feasible - well, it’s feasible, but not something I want to do.
I do really enjoy the baby phase - it’s just magical and babies are beautiful. But I will enjoy my friend’s babies and stay the course. Thanks for the reality check! |
Anonymous
| I had this feeling once when visiting a friend with an adorable baby-and then he had a diaper blowout in the middle of our hangout and she wound up with poop all over her leg and I remembered how awesome life is with my older kids who never poop or puke on me and can hold conversations and understand logic. |