Tell me not to have another baby (please!)
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Anonymous
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I was you OP and didn’t have the 4th kid. Now I am 42 and still sometimes wistful but know in the end it was the right decision. It is so hard trying to do all the activities for my kids and I have 3. Right now we have 12-15 activities a week for 3 kids. That is insane.
We have the money (HHI well a one $500K) but we don’t have the time to realistically spit with another kid. Good luck! It’s a hard decision I know! |
Anonymous
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It’s funny how so many posters are saying OP is too old to have a baby. I don’t disagree with that, but my issue is sounds too young and immature to have one. Babies aren’t puppies. You don’t have them because you think they’re cute.
Grow up, OP. |
Anonymous
| I don’t think you are too old, but think really really hard about how your family dynamic would change if that child is special needs. |
Anonymous
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I am the opposite of you OP. I really wanted a third kid, but I dislike the baby/toddler stage. My kids become so much more enjoyable with age as their personalities develop and they open up to new life experiences.
I ended up having a third (ate age 37) because of what I wanted my family to look like long term. But I definitely saw going through pregnancy, the sleepless nights, nursing, potty training, etc. as the work for the reward of having another child. Now that I’m 42 with school aged kids I’m so glad to be able to leave the house without a diaper bag and to not be dealing with postpartum weight loss, etc. All that to say if you really want *another child* I don’t think you’re too old quite yet (assuming you can afford and emotionally care for another). I can’t imagine our family without our youngest. But if you just want someone to cuddle and a baby talk, get a dog. |
Anonymous
| Fwiw many of my friends have had some physical difficulty spring up between ages 43 and 50. Not necessarily long term problems, but things like very active people suddenly wrenching their back, spraining an ankle, tearing a muscle, etc. All of them have said some variation of "at least my kids are old enough that I don't need to carry them anymore." |
Anonymous
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OP I feel this. I'm the same age as you, DH is same age as yours, my youngest just turned 3, and my best friend is about to have her fourth.
lol I really feel the baby fever but a) my existing children don't sleep; and I think especially with the children I already have to take care of, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities or special needs feels like a pretty big deal. It's hard though, especially when people in your inner circle are doing it and making it look good. I just have to keep reminding myself not to blow up my life, and that I can care for my current children better without taking that risk. |
Anonymous
| Four kids is a lot of kids. You're not too old, but remember your energy level will be even lower than when you had your third. Get newborn snuggles from your friends' babies!! |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]Overcome lately with baby fever: a few friends have little ones (under six months) and my best friend is having her 4th any day.
I’m 40 and my youngest is turning 3 and starting to really lose his baby-ness. While I love this age I am starting to yearn for a little baby and their chubby legs and sweet smell. (I really love babies!) Consciously/logically, I do not want another baby: pregnancy is hard on me, I’m finally at a passable weight again, I’m happy at my job and don’t want the upheaval, and financially it would be unwise. But, being 40, I’m more aware of my window closing, and DH would be thrilled if we had another, even though he’s okay not doing it. Basically, if we were to do it, now would be the time - DH is 44 and wouldn’t want a baby any later than 45 - so it’s baby fever with some urgency. How did you decide, if you were on the fence. Or talk yourself out of it? Please talk me off this ledge! [/quote] Don't have another kid until you can make decisions for yourself without asking strangers to help you make life altering choices! Here's a novel thought. make this decision with your husband! |
Anonymous
| I went ahead and had my last baby at 40. No regrets but….. I am now 47 with an 8 year old. Perimenopause started hitting a couple years ago and I have really felt my energy decline between 45-47. Plus, I started feeling that sandwich generation with my own parents aging/death. I feel so much more mortal now than I did when I had her just 8 short years ago and realizing we will not be empty nesters until we’re almost 60. Love my kid but I didn’t realize how different life would get in my mid-40s! |
Anonymous
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its just hormones DONT FALL FOR IT.
DO NOT have another. |
Anonymous
Same here. We have 3, and would have liked 4th close in age to the 3rd, but financially and age-wise it wasn't sensible, so we didn't. Now we have HS, MS, and elementary, and the logistics with their staggered school schedules and different activities are nuts and we're glad we didn't push it. |
Anonymous
+ a million It's just the hormones. You know when I was REALLY happy that I didn't have another? Once my kids were teenagers. Before then it was this on and off wistfulness. Do not fall prey to your hormones. It will pass. |
Anonymous
| If you have 3 healthy kids and logically don't want another- you're done. Enjoy the blessings you have. |
Anonymous
| I’m 46 and my youngest is 15. I’m tired! Love them to bits and will miss them but a part of me is thrilled to be off duty for the day to day stuff in 3 years. I’m tired of planning dinners at odd hours, washing endless water bottles and making a bajillion trips to and from the high school. |
Anonymous
All of this. |