Marrieds who left their SO for another. How is it going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of my parents married their AP’s
Twenty plus years ago.

Same. My parents second marriages are almost as long as their firsts at this point. I think my parents were married 21 years and my mom just had her 17th anniversary and my dad his 19th. Both are great step grandparents BUT never had to be step parents which I think is why we all get along just fine. I think if you can raise your kids without a step parent its best. But my parents AP's were fine people, just having mid life crisis'.

So true
Except one of my parents spouse’s adult kids has major issues w them as a result.

[Anonymous]

My mom did this. We've all gone along to preserve the relationship and for the sake of the grandkids, but I think her AP is a loser and I always will. This happened when I was a teenager and my relationship with my mom was very, very bad for several years. It was common knowledge in our small town. Would not recommend. She paid a high price for it-- basically lost all her friends, and also the guy is broke and has loser adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for a very prominent scientist to pop in to tell us how well it's going with his adult kids and the not much older delighted to be mentored young girlfriend.

LOL I remember this guy too. You forgot how accomplished and intelligent his new girlfriend is too 🤣🤣🤣

I remember the ex wife and her "tutored by mentee" DD.

Was this the guy that was so distinguished in his career and he and the young thing finally admitted their feelings to each other at some conference? And the ex wife was such a drag because she kept going on and on about her parent that had just died and didn’t give the guy the adoration he deserved?

If so, yes! I remember that! This person posted in multiple threads from different vantage points, as the guy, as the girlfriend, and as a friend of the guy. I corralled likes to all the threads he/she posted in and brought it to Jeff’s attention. It was truly bizarre.

[Anonymous]

any experience not related to an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for a very prominent scientist to pop in to tell us how well it's going with his adult kids and the not much older delighted to be mentored young girlfriend.

LOL I remember this guy too. You forgot how accomplished and intelligent his new girlfriend is too 🤣🤣🤣

I remember the ex wife and her "tutored by mentee" DD.

Was this the guy that was so distinguished in his career and he and the young thing finally admitted their feelings to each other at some conference? And the ex wife was such a drag because she kept going on and on about her parent that had just died and didn’t give the guy the adoration he deserved?

If so, yes! I remember that! This person posted in multiple threads from different vantage points, as the guy, as the girlfriend, and as a friend of the guy. I corralled likes to all the threads he/she posted in and brought it to Jeff’s attention. It was truly bizarre.

I don't remember it -- can anybody find an link??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for a very prominent scientist to pop in to tell us how well it's going with his adult kids and the not much older delighted to be mentored young girlfriend.

LOL I remember this guy too. You forgot how accomplished and intelligent his new girlfriend is too 🤣🤣🤣

I remember the ex wife and her "tutored by mentee" DD.

Was this the guy that was so distinguished in his career and he and the young thing finally admitted their feelings to each other at some conference? And the ex wife was such a drag because she kept going on and on about her parent that had just died and didn’t give the guy the adoration he deserved?

If so, yes! I remember that! This person posted in multiple threads from different vantage points, as the guy, as the girlfriend, and as a friend of the guy. I corralled likes to all the threads he/she posted in and brought it to Jeff’s attention. It was truly bizarre.

I don't remember it -- can anybody find an link??

Here you go. All you have to do is search “lab assistant” in this forum and it all comes up. This person posted as many different people. Truly nuts.


https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/60/1157934.page#25896557
Posting as the man’s neighbor

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1161036.page
Posting as the man’s brother

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/1149662.page#25563766
Posting as someone who knows the man but the relationship isn’t specified


https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/1229402.page#28405614
Posting as the man himself

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/120/1170113.page#26296757
Posting again as the man himself

[Anonymous]

Whoops, sorry forgot to say you can search “prominent medical researcher” - this post comes up as well. He clearly thinks very highly of himself!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/225/1236955.page#28705942

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoops, sorry forgot to say you can search “prominent medical researcher” - this post comes up as well. He clearly thinks very highly of himself!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/225/1236955.page#28705942

There's at least one other thread lol. I think it was about dating younger.

I wonder if that guy's gf moved on and that's why he disappeared.

[Anonymous]

No regrets. We both ended up much happier. Been 20 years. No kids.

[Anonymous]

Mine left for his AP and they are still together. I’ve cycled thru an on and off again relationship that recently ended.

It’s quite possible that they will have the happily ever after and I will be the one to struggle.

The pool of available men in their 40s is not so great. Most men just want FWB.

I feel like ex won and I lost. I don’t want a casual/FWB lifestyle and would prefer a lasting, loving partnership, but that’s genuinely hard to find. In the meantime, I’m working on myself & trying to raise my kids well… but, as the years go by and as I get older, I feel that the odds of finding the one will be slimmer and slimmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine left for his AP and they are still together. I’ve cycled thru an on and off again relationship that recently ended.

It’s quite possible that they will have the happily ever after and I will be the one to struggle.

The pool of available men in their 40s is not so great. Most men just want FWB.

I feel like ex won and I lost. I don’t want a casual/FWB lifestyle and would prefer a lasting, loving partnership, but that’s genuinely hard to find. In the meantime, I’m working on myself & trying to raise my kids well… but, as the years go by and as I get older, I feel that the odds of finding the one will be slimmer and slimmer.

Mine left for someone, but it fell apart fast. He quickly re-partnered and has been with that person ever since. I have no insight into the relationship, but it seems to be lasting. Whatever.

Similarly, I assume I will be the one to remain single. I'm not even looking. If I meet someone, great. I'm over 50 and the odds are slim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine left for his AP and they are still together. I’ve cycled thru an on and off again relationship that recently ended.

It’s quite possible that they will have the happily ever after and I will be the one to struggle.

The pool of available men in their 40s is not so great. Most men just want FWB.

I feel like ex won and I lost. I don’t want a casual/FWB lifestyle and would prefer a lasting, loving partnership, but that’s genuinely hard to find. In the meantime, I’m working on myself & trying to raise my kids well… but, as the years go by and as I get older, I feel that the odds of finding the one will be slimmer and slimmer.

No. They lost because they will never truly regain their self-respect and respect for each other.

Dating gets a lot easier with teens and empty nesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine left for his AP and they are still together. I’ve cycled thru an on and off again relationship that recently ended.

It’s quite possible that they will have the happily ever after and I will be the one to struggle.

The pool of available men in their 40s is not so great. Most men just want FWB.

I feel like ex won and I lost. I don’t want a casual/FWB lifestyle and would prefer a lasting, loving partnership, but that’s genuinely hard to find. In the meantime, I’m working on myself & trying to raise my kids well… but, as the years go by and as I get older, I feel that the odds of finding the one will be slimmer and slimmer.

My friend married the college boyfriend she dated before her cheater XH. The college boyfriend had also gotten divorced.

They seem very happy and are already pretty familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses.

She never dated other than becoming re-acquainted with her 2nd husband.

[Anonymous]

I think it's pretty rare that someone leaves a marriage for their AP. Most of the time, the cheater wants to stay married but there's something going on (could be an inner child trauma or could be something triggering them, or even a mid-life crisis) that makes them lose their mind. I've never seen solid data on whether people who cheat like this (non-exit affairs) tend to do it multiple times or just the one time if never caught. But I have a feeling that a bunch of people who have been married more than 10 years have cheated and stayed. Maybe that's why so few people are responding to this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty rare that someone leaves a marriage for their AP. Most of the time, the cheater wants to stay married but there's something going on (could be an inner child trauma or could be something triggering them, or even a mid-life crisis) that makes them lose their mind. I've never seen solid data on whether people who cheat like this (non-exit affairs) tend to do it multiple times or just the one time if never caught. But I have a feeling that a bunch of people who have been married more than 10 years have cheated and stayed. Maybe that's why so few people are responding to this question.

I mean ... yeah. I like being married. I did have inner child trauma/mid-life crisis, but now I just like having a BF in addition to a DH. Is that so wrong??