How do people in dead bedroom marriages cope?

[Anonymous]

If the DW doesn’t want it, the Husband is to blame. He’s not doing (choose whatever) and needs to get over it, as it’s not that important. If the DH doesn’t want it, he’s gay, or having an affair, and it’s time to divorce the loser and take him for everything.

At least that’s how it’s handled on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

We get along and we each have a girlfriend and that works pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try reading the dead bedroom fix. It did wonders for my brother and sister in law’s marriage.

You know this about your brother and SIL?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not that important

This
For me, I think for both of us.
We are happy in our lives. It’s all good.

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know how. But if anybody says it on here they are the devil incarnate.

There’s no such thing as cheating in a dead bedroom marriage. The marriage is automatically open as soon as one spouse opts out of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's the least of our problems.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's the least of our problems.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

The one who complains get out side solution for the problem.

[Anonymous]

Lots of medical issues so there are bigger problems. Lots of money so you can just throw it at problems. Lots of toys and other friends so it's really a problem.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Try reading the dead bedroom fix. It did wonders for my brother and sister in law’s marriage.[/quote]

Why do you know?
Ick .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not that important

This
For me, I think for both of us.
We are happy in our lives. It’s all good.

Same

💤

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the DW doesn’t want it, the Husband is to blame. He’s not doing (choose whatever) and needs to get over it, as it’s not that important. If the DH doesn’t want it, he’s gay, or having an affair, and it’s time to divorce the loser and take him for everything.

At least that’s how it’s handled on DCUM.

This is a fairly accurate description of the majority view on DCUM but it doesn't really answer the question.

[Anonymous]

One solution is celibacy. Not good for most people.
One solution is masturbation. Same.
One solution is meaningless affairs. Same.
One solution is affairs that are both physical and emotional. Same.
One solution is making yourself much more physically attractive. This may work but also may create more opportunities for affairs.
One solution is being nicer, as in doing more stuff around the house, or becoming more empathetic, or becoming a better listener, or becoming less prone to anger, etc. This might not work but it's still worth trying.
One solution is trying hard to schedule date nights and couple times. Same.
One solution is ending the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not that important

This
For me, I think for both of us.
We are happy in our lives. It’s all good.

Same. I'd honestly rather deal with a dead bedroom than other issues -- personal dislike, lack of respect, serious illness, major financial issues, etc.

Also I guess I did assume at some point sex would slow to the level we are at now (a couple times a year) but that it happened younger than I expected (mid 40s). So it was definitely disappointing but not shocking to me.

I also think it could actually come back when we are in a less stressful phase of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not that important

This
For me, I think for both of us.
We are happy in our lives. It’s all good.

Same. I'd honestly rather deal with a dead bedroom than other issues -- personal dislike, lack of respect, serious illness, major financial issues, etc.

Also I guess I did assume at some point sex would slow to the level we are at now (a couple times a year) but that it happened younger than I expected (mid 40s). So it was definitely disappointing but not shocking to me.

I also think it could actually come back when we are in a less stressful phase of life.

That’s a lie I’ve been telling myself for years.