| I’ll take the other side, just because this thread is so one-sided. Does she have any outstanding redeeming qualities ? Like, she’s extremely hot and you’re dating out of your league ? Or she’s super rich and pays for dates/trips ? You basically have a free pass on any marriage talk or getting super serious as long as this situation exists. Might just ride it and have some fun. |
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Personally (36f, married) I would be pissed.
A) people deserve the truth B) if people don’t want to date married people that is their choice C) you’re a lying liar liar face!! This is the same as if someone lies about their age (it’s only a few years…) or weight or height or whatever. You (the liar) think your wants outweigh mine. How can I believe anti g you say ever again? |
| I was separated but not legally divorced when I met my now husband and I was completely up front with him about the status of my prior marriage. That she hid it is very odd. |
That’s the thing. You were honest when OP’s gf was not. This is disgusting behavior. Op, does she still hv something going on with her ex-H? That could be the reason people hide stuff. |
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If your girlfriend is comfortable lying about this - - then imagine what else she will be comfortable lying about…….
Plus saying you are divorced before the divorce is actually finalized is kinda a big deal. Your trust ➕ faith in her has been shattered now. Once trust is removed > there no longer is a stable/solid foundation upon which to base your relationship on. |
| She should have come clean on day one or else soon after you got involved. I would maybe understand but also not trust her, because I’d wonder when else she was being dishonest for self-serving reasons. |
Clearly you can't read because OP said he didnt have a problem with her being divorced because he is divorced as well. |
| No. Break up. She lies. That is a huge thing to lie about. |
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funny timing.
my sister was just telling me yesterday that it is common practice for men who separate from their wives to go to bars and say they are divorced to any women they meet. They don't say they are married or separated because that will be a buzz kill to any woman...so they say they are divorced, and 3 m9ns into a relationship, they explain that they are not fully divorced yet. So, OP, your GF is not the only one who does this. She did it because she correctly assumed that you would be turned off if you knew she was, in fact, still married to another man (or woman). The truth was inconvienient for her wants...and she wanted you. She definitely showed her character here and it wasn't a good look. It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but you do have info on where her standards are. |
| I left my husband without filing for divorce, moved to a different state, and created a dating profile. Even before any first date, I told my matches what my situation was, and there was no shortage of men who were still seriously interested. So that’s another thing that OP’s girlfriend lied about. |
| I think you should break up with her because YOU are uncomfortable with the situation. What other people think doesn’t matter. |
Work on reading comprehension. OP was okay when he thought she was divorced. He is not okay to learn she is still married. |
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I am a 48-year old divorced woman. I was separated for two years. I did not date. My divorce was final 6 years ago and only then I dated.
She lied. I would break up. She should not have lied. |
FYP |
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Move on. Plus she still is not divorced after another 8 months.
I also suspect she lied about her age. You are either married or divorced. OP, it can be dangerous dating a married man or married woman. |