breaking up with GF - hid divorce

[Anonymous]

I am 44M and in relationship with my GF, 43F for about 7-8 months. On the first day, she told me that she was divorced and I didn't care much after that. I am fully divorced for about 8 years. A few things didn't add up and I asked her again recently and she confessed that she is not fully divorced and it is in the process. She just said she was fully divorced on first date otherwise guys don't get interested or serious. This is a serious breach of trust and I am thinking about breaking up with her. I talked to my female cousins and they think it is not a big deal and women do that. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I think it's sneaky behavior. She knows that many men have a boundary in place so she lies to get around that. It's creepy.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are right in breaking up with her.

[Anonymous]

I would have dumped her as well.

Trust is too important. She should not have lied.

[Anonymous]

If she lies with ease about this, she lies about other things too.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would absolutely break up. I dated a man who lied about being divorced. He also lied about many other things, as I later discovered (was seeing other women in parallel, was in a bitter custody dispute with exW while dating me etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44M and in relationship with my GF, 43F for about 7-8 months. On the first day, she told me that she was divorced and I didn't care much after that. I am fully divorced for about 8 years. A few things didn't add up and I asked her again recently and she confessed that she is not fully divorced and it is in the process. She just said she was fully divorced on first date otherwise guys don't get interested or serious. This is a serious breach of trust and I am thinking about breaking up with her. I talked to my female cousins and they think it is not a big deal and women do that. Thoughts?

If it’s a big deal to you then it’s a big deal. Follow your own gut instincts and what truth it has for you. I would not be something I could wave off as nothing.

[Anonymous]

I would break up with someone that did that sorry to say.

[Anonymous]

1. I don't like what your cousins said - this kind of defensive behavior occurs in both men and women. It's not limited to women.

2. Yes, I think you should break up.

[Anonymous]

Dump her. She’s had plenty of time to come clean on this. She’s also lying about her age.

[Anonymous]

It is a lie, she isn't being honest.

And lying about being married vs being divorced is a pretty big lie.

[Anonymous]

1. I think people should be honest about their relationship status.

2. Your cousins are shady

[Anonymous]

This is definitely not okay.

But something stood out to me, OP. It’s okay for your to be divorced but not for your partner to be?

[Anonymous]

Ick. That would be a total dealbreaker for me and the fact that it's been 7-8 months and she's STILL not divorced? Definitely sketchy. I would definitely break up over that level of dishonesty.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes divorces linger on forever. Still, I think you need to break up; a relationship without trust isn't worth having. You feel she breached your trust, so move on.