Neighbor kid calls me by my first name — rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 9-year-old neighbor who comes over to play with my kids sometimes. He’s very polite otherwise, but he always calls me “Sarah,” not “Miss Sarah” or “Mrs. [Last Name].”
I was raised to address adults with a title, especially if they’re not family. I haven’t said anything, but it bugs me a little every time. Is this just a generational thing, or should I gently correct him? What’s the etiquette these days?

I think 9 is too young to be labeled as "rude". You should use it as a teaching moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is regional, not generational.

I cringe when someone calls me Miss First Name.

Yes, this just sounds horrible to me. Like how a slave addressed their owner. Not surprising that it’s still mostly the south where this is expected.

[Anonymous]

Kids are so confused these days. Is it Larla, Ms Larla or Mrs smith? The first time a kid addresses me I say “please call me Ms Larla” and that fixes it.

I cannot stand being called “Jane’s mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the adult. You can say, please call me Mrs. Smith if that’s what you prefer.

This, yes, correct him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is regional, not generational.

I cringe when someone calls me Miss First Name.

Same. I see why - we need something between Mrs Lastname and just the first name, but this compromise isn’t it for me. I wasn’t raised in the south.

I wasn’t, either, but I can’t stand being called Mrs. Last name, so Ms. Larla it is. But if they drop the Ms., whatever. I’ll live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You churn about nonsense

This. Waste of mental energy.

[Anonymous]

It’s very rude if they keep doing it after being corrected a couple times.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t grow up in an environment where we routinely used titles when addressing friends’ parents—first names were the norm, and no one ever corrected us or suggested otherwise. In many cases, the parents were both doctors, so using titles might have added to the confusion anyway.

A few neighbors have politely corrected my children when they've used first names, which I genuinely don’t mind—though I’ll admit, those moments can feel a bit awkward, and I sometimes walk away feeling guilty.

That said, I completely agree that children who don’t use titles aren’t being rude. A little grace and understanding for different naming conventions would go a long way. My general rule: if you'd prefer a title, just kindly correct and move on. And if a child slips up a few times, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re probably doing their best, and for kids with challenges like ADHD—diagnosed or not—remembering those kinds of adult preferences can be especially tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is regional, not generational.

I cringe when someone calls me Miss First Name.

Agree. I have never really liked Miss First Name, but I've let it go as it seems to be what a lot are taught by their parents.

I grew up here and we were always Mr or Mrs Last Name or just the first name if they were close. I prefer just first name, but tend to defer to what their parents tell them if they seem to have a preference.

[Anonymous]

Do you want the neighbor to always address you with a title or will you want him to use your first name at some point when he's older?

[Anonymous]

In Capitol Hill, this seems to be the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s very rude if they keep doing it after being corrected a couple times.

But the OP hasn’t indicated that the kid was ever told how she wants to be addressed, let alone that the kid was “corrected”. The kid might not even know the OP’s last name. OP, the kid —otherwise polite — isn’t being rude. It’s up to you to tell people how you want to be addressed — particularly if you have specific preferences. It sounds like you left it up to the kid to guess — and are asking if the kid is “rude” for guessing wrong.

[Anonymous]

The kid is referring to you the way they hear their parents refer to you. Maybe they don't even know your last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are so confused these days. Is it Larla, Ms Larla or Mrs smith? The first time a kid addresses me I say “please call me Ms Larla” and that fixes it.

I cannot stand being called “Jane’s mom”

Weirdly I love being called “Jane’s mom”. My DC and I don’t share the same last name but most kids don’t know my last name and I really like my DC’s name. I think it was here on dcum that I learned that there are places where this is a formalized custom and not just kids being uncertain about what to call adults.

[Anonymous]

Do kids on the west coast call their teachers by their first name too?