Neighbor kid calls me by my first name — rude?

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you speak up idiot

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is rude for anyone (child or adult) who does not know me very well personally to call me by my first name.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 13 and will either say “Miss Larla” or “ Larlas mom” when addressing an adult.
She has 2 friends that use my first name and I don’t mind. Ther othered address me as posted above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are so confused these days. Is it Larla, Ms Larla or Mrs smith? The first time a kid addresses me I say “please call me Ms Larla” and that fixes it.

I cannot stand being called “Jane’s mom”

Weirdly I love being called “Jane’s mom”. My DC and I don’t share the same last name but most kids don’t know my last name and I really like my DC’s name. I think it was here on dcum that I learned that there are places where this is a formalized custom and not just kids being uncertain about what to call adults.

I also think it’s really cute when younger kids call me “larlo’s mom” but wonder if it will feel a little weird as the kids get older (pre-teen and up). What’s kind of funny to me is that in many East Asian cultures, the other parents would call you “Jane’s mom”, though the kids would be expected to call you “Aunty” if they don’t know your last name, or “Aunt Lastname” if they do.

[Anonymous]

You’re a clown OP

[Anonymous]

It’s 2025. First names are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mind. I have kids calling me by my first name, Ms. First Name or Mrs. Last Name. As long as they’re polite and well behaved it’s all good. I tell my kids to address adults by Mr/Ms. First Name unless they are asked to do otherwise.

This. I really don't want to be called Mrs. Last Name.

[Anonymous]

OMG lady unclench. We have always done first names with neighbors. I wouldn't even think twice about this!

[Anonymous]

Are you from the South?

I wouldn’t be personally insulted. Depends on kids family and where they go to school. Some schools address teachers by only first name.

I used to teach art classes and always had the kids address me by only my first name. I was hired to teach some art classes at a residential foster home for kids 4-13. The home was supervised by nuns and they forbid me from being addressed that way! I had to add Miss in front of my first name. Despite this, as the other white women there were nuns, the kids kept calling me Sister FirstName. They were kids. It’s a habit. It was not a big deal.

Side note: One little boy was really funny. I am short and look pretty young. He was very bright and would never do it when other adults were present. He’d address me as Miss Shorty or Miss Teenager. He had snark beyond his years and I loved it!

[Anonymous]

You can just tell him what to call you. He isn’t a mind reader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is rude for anyone (child or adult) who does not know me very well personally to call me by my first name.

So you go to a neighborhood BBQ and you’d expect an adult you just met to call you Mrs. So and so?

[Anonymous]

Unclench those butt cheeks OP

[Anonymous]

Just tell him, OP. He probably doesn't know your last name so he's using your first name because that's what his parents call you.

Yes it's regional. I'm from Vermont where it is and was normal to use first names with adults you know. Not with teachers though. For an adult to insist on an honorific feels really odd to me, like the person is hung up on hierarchy and their own importance. Now that I live in DC, I'm fine with first name, Larla's Mom, Ms. Larla's Mom, Ms. Lastname, or whatever the kid comes up with. And because my last name is Polish and difficult, I also answer to Ms. First Initial and "Ms. Um, Uh, Ms."

[Anonymous]

First names. The formality is silly.

[Anonymous]

First names are normal and fine in a lot of cultures. You can tell the kid what you prefer, or you can be more flexible and recognize that this area has people of many different cultural backgrounds.

Personally, I have my kids say "Ms." when in DC or anywhere south of here because it's what they do at school and better to avoid offending anyone. But I do think anyone who is really bothered by it is odd. Like is your ego so fragile that you need everyone to cater to it? True respect is earned and freely given, not demanded and enforced.