Neighbor kid calls me by my first name — rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to be called Mrs. Lastname. If that makes me an old stick-in-the-mud, so be it. I just kindly correct kids and let them know how I want to be addressed. No reason to be wishy washy or feel weird about it. It’s not mean to insist on titles, if it’s what you want.

Agree, it's what you want.
I never do Mrs. Last name. What I hear that, I think, that is my MIL!

I typically laugh and go, oh please, call me [my first name] or [miss first name, if little kids]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 9-year-old neighbor who comes over to play with my kids sometimes. He’s very polite otherwise, but he always calls me “Sarah,” not “Miss Sarah” or “Mrs. [Last Name].”
I was raised to address adults with a title, especially if they’re not family. I haven’t said anything, but it bugs me a little every time. Is this just a generational thing, or should I gently correct him? What’s the etiquette these days?

You should let this one go. Before you know it your kids will be in high school and college and you will never see this kid. Either your family or the other family will probably move to a new neighborhood in that time. It's a blip in time.

I agree it’s a blip in time. I agree that there is no standard manner of a child addressing an adult in the DMV in 2025. I don’t think OP should let it go. She is an adult who unable to politely redirect a 9 year old to use her preferred form of address. OP should definitely learn this skill!

Bingo. I just hope OP isn't a Republican offended by being called her name assigned at birth.

[Anonymous]

OP wants gender-affirming care! She wants the honorific because it affirms her female identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mrs X is my mother in law. I prefer everyone call me my first name including kids.

Same. Don't call me Mrs anything. I have a name. It's not rude to address me by my preferred name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs X is my mother in law. I prefer everyone call me my first name including kids.

Same. Don't call me Mrs anything. I have a name. It's not rude to address me by my preferred name.

My MIL taught middle school Spanish for 25 years and went by Senora X!

[Anonymous]

My kids friends call me Billy's mom most of the time!

[Anonymous]

This is the norm in our neighborhood (DC). I also addressed my parents’ friends by their first names back in the 90s. Only much older folks (like grandparents’ age) or teachers did I use Mr/Ms. Same for my own kids. I would be weirded out if my kid’s friends called me Ms.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the DMV and we did not address adults but their first names. Mr/Mrs first name was almost a sign of affection. Mr/Mrs last name was for less familiar people. I didn't think I would mind going by just my first name, but I do! I worked at a summer camp for rich kids soon out of college and found it grating. I have my kids use a title for adults...Mr/Mrs/Coach...

[Anonymous]

Miss Sarah sounds silly. You’re not a Miss and the Miss doesn’t go with a first name unless you’re at some neighborhood dance studio.

Calling by the first name is the most logical. I’m assuming they are polite when carrying on a conversation?

Plus it’s best not to go back to when you were young.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like being called Miss. My first name is fine, especially for a kid who is at my house often. It’s regional, but we respect the person and what they want to be called. You can correct them if you want, and if it was my kid I would reinforce that for you, even though I don’t understand it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I moved to the west coast and this is the norm in my city. It was hard to adapt to and I cared a lot for a while but I’m used to it now. I don’t care anymore and am not sure why I ever was bothered by it.

Maybe they’re from elsewhere? If it bothers you I agree that you need to give the kid another option for what to call you. They’re not going to read your mind.

I'm from the West Coast. This is normal for the West Coast. It's not a sign of rudeness. The kid isn't trying to bother you.

If you're in the DMV, however, most people do titles. It's fine to correct the kid and say something like "Most kids call me (preferred name). Can you call me (preferred name)."

I'm in the DMV and most kids don't use titles in our circle. We live in Arlington, if that matters. I never expect a child to call me Ms. It's completely your right to correct a child and ask them to call you something else, but I will make fun of you when I hear that you've done it!

And here’s the fake southern ‘manners.’ How can you not see how mean and rude it is to mock someone for their preferred name?

I really don’t understand why people think that being more formal, or using titles, is grounds for making fun of someone? You can’t see the hypocrisy of being unkind to people different than yourself?

You're not requesting the honorific because you want to be treated kindly. You're requesting it because you want the child to acknowledge your superior position in the hierarchy.

…and so what? A nine year old neighbor kid is inferior to the mother of his playmate, especially within her own home. What’s wrong with acknowledging that, politely, he too respects the lady of the house?

I was going to make you kids snacks while you play video games, but now I think I’ll just keep clipping coupons and tidying the kitchen…

Clipping coupons?

Are you 80?

[Anonymous]

Imagine how surprised OP would be if she could hear what the kids really call her behind her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved to the west coast and this is the norm in my city. It was hard to adapt to and I cared a lot for a while but I’m used to it now. I don’t care anymore and am not sure why I ever was bothered by it.

Maybe they’re from elsewhere? If it bothers you I agree that you need to give the kid another option for what to call you. They’re not going to read your mind.

I'm from the West Coast. This is normal for the West Coast. It's not a sign of rudeness. The kid isn't trying to bother you.

If you're in the DMV, however, most people do titles. It's fine to correct the kid and say something like "Most kids call me (preferred name). Can you call me (preferred name)."

I'm in the DMV and most kids don't use titles in our circle. We live in Arlington, if that matters. I never expect a child to call me Ms. It's completely your right to correct a child and ask them to call you something else, but I will make fun of you when I hear that you've done it!

And here’s the fake southern ‘manners.’ How can you not see how mean and rude it is to mock someone for their preferred name?

I really don’t understand why people think that being more formal, or using titles, is grounds for making fun of someone? You can’t see the hypocrisy of being unkind to people different than yourself?

You're not requesting the honorific because you want to be treated kindly. You're requesting it because you want the child to acknowledge your superior position in the hierarchy.

…and so what? A nine year old neighbor kid is inferior to the mother of his playmate, especially within her own home. What’s wrong with acknowledging that, politely, he too respects the lady of the house?

I was going to make you kids snacks while you play video games, but now I think I’ll just keep clipping coupons and tidying the kitchen…

Clipping coupons?

Are you 80?

Yes

[Anonymous]

In my social set it’s first names - Triad NC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved to the west coast and this is the norm in my city. It was hard to adapt to and I cared a lot for a while but I’m used to it now. I don’t care anymore and am not sure why I ever was bothered by it.

Maybe they’re from elsewhere? If it bothers you I agree that you need to give the kid another option for what to call you. They’re not going to read your mind.

I'm from the West Coast. This is normal for the West Coast. It's not a sign of rudeness. The kid isn't trying to bother you.

If you're in the DMV, however, most people do titles. It's fine to correct the kid and say something like "Most kids call me (preferred name). Can you call me (preferred name)."

I'm in the DMV and most kids don't use titles in our circle. We live in Arlington, if that matters. I never expect a child to call me Ms. It's completely your right to correct a child and ask them to call you something else, but I will make fun of you when I hear that you've done it!

And here’s the fake southern ‘manners.’ How can you not see how mean and rude it is to mock someone for their preferred name?

I really don’t understand why people think that being more formal, or using titles, is grounds for making fun of someone? You can’t see the hypocrisy of being unkind to people different than yourself?

You're not requesting the honorific because you want to be treated kindly. You're requesting it because you want the child to acknowledge your superior position in the hierarchy.

…and so what? A nine year old neighbor kid is inferior to the mother of his playmate, especially within her own home. What’s wrong with acknowledging that, politely, he too respects the lady of the house?

I was going to make you kids snacks while you play video games, but now I think I’ll just keep clipping coupons and tidying the kitchen…

Clipping coupons?

Are you 80?

You think only 80 year olds need to manage their money? Are you dim? Clearly.