How to tell DH I want him to be more dominant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PSA for the men on here: most of you need to be more dominant, especially if youve been married for a long time.

Ok but if you think you want him to be dominant in the bedroom then you have to accept him being dominant the rest of the time, too. Trying to compartmentalize it (he is dominant in the bedroom but I tell him what to do at all other times) isn’t going to work. Neither of you will believe his make-believe bedroom dominance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the bedroom. Has this ever successfully worked in your relationship? I find men can be too passive, which isn’t attractive.

Tell him you are thinking of dating Republican man.

[Anonymous]

Leave him be. You shouldn't have been with him if this was your deal breaker in the first place. Stop trying to make him become something he's not, because you aren't satisfied. What about his feelings and what he wants, and who he generally is? If it's not in his authentic nature, don't push it .

[Anonymous]

I’ll tell you what worked on me (a woman): putting the idea in my head and letting it stew for a few weeks, then mentioning it again and again until I warmed up. Never going back!

[Anonymous]

So sick of these troll threads

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave him be. You shouldn't have been with him if this was your deal breaker in the first place. Stop trying to make him become something he's not, because you aren't satisfied. What about his feelings and what he wants, and who he generally is? If it's not in his authentic nature, don't push it .

This

[Anonymous]

I’m a very submissive and kinky woman, while my BF is basically a choir boy who had very little sexual experience when we met.

I found the best time to bring up what I wanted was during afterplay when we had sex. You’re already cuddling and feeling open/intimate, so I would tell him what I wanted to try next time. I found that when I told him in the moment during sex, he’d get panicked I sprung something new on him and he’d get shy and embarrassed.

I’d then follow up a day or two later with sexting. It’s an easier way to practice since he can think it through.

Also, be extremely explicit with what you want. “Talk dirtier” doesn’t work, you need to tell him exactly what you want him to say. Like the literal phrases.

And lots of positive reinforcement! Even if he doesn’t get it right the first time, respond enthusiastically. Once you move from 1-2 Os to 7-8 Os, he’s gonna realize how awesome it is and will do more without you needing to prompt him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA for the men on here: most of you need to be more dominant, especially if youve been married for a long time.

Ok but if you think you want him to be dominant in the bedroom then you have to accept him being dominant the rest of the time, too. Trying to compartmentalize it (he is dominant in the bedroom but I tell him what to do at all other times) isn’t going to work. Neither of you will believe his make-believe bedroom dominance.

No, that is not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a very submissive and kinky woman, while my BF is basically a choir boy who had very little sexual experience when we met.

I found the best time to bring up what I wanted was during afterplay when we had sex. You’re already cuddling and feeling open/intimate, so I would tell him what I wanted to try next time. I found that when I told him in the moment during sex, he’d get panicked I sprung something new on him and he’d get shy and embarrassed.

I’d then follow up a day or two later with sexting. It’s an easier way to practice since he can think it through.

Also, be extremely explicit with what you want. “Talk dirtier” doesn’t work, you need to tell him exactly what you want him to say. Like the literal phrases.

And lots of positive reinforcement! Even if he doesn’t get it right the first time, respond enthusiastically. Once you move from 1-2 Os to 7-8 Os, he’s gonna realize how awesome it is and will do more without you needing to prompt him.

PP - one more thing - during afterplay, ask what he wants next time. Make it clear you want to please him, that it turns you on to make his fantasies come true, that you want to be told what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I want you to be more dominant in the bedroom."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA for the men on here: most of you need to be more dominant, especially if youve been married for a long time.

Ok but if you think you want him to be dominant in the bedroom then you have to accept him being dominant the rest of the time, too. Trying to compartmentalize it (he is dominant in the bedroom but I tell him what to do at all other times) isn’t going to work. Neither of you will believe his make-believe bedroom dominance.

I’d love this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA for the men on here: most of you need to be more dominant, especially if youve been married for a long time.

Ok but if you think you want him to be dominant in the bedroom then you have to accept him being dominant the rest of the time, too. Trying to compartmentalize it (he is dominant in the bedroom but I tell him what to do at all other times) isn’t going to work. Neither of you will believe his make-believe bedroom dominance.

This is incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the bedroom. Has this ever successfully worked in your relationship? I find men can be too passive, which isn’t attractive.

Women have tried their best to undermine men, and now you expect them to take charge?
Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.

Let men be themselves in their daily lives, and they will naturally be dominant in the bedroom.
Masculinity has been so criticized that many men are afraid to show any signs of being dominant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the bedroom. Has this ever successfully worked in your relationship? I find men can be too passive, which isn’t attractive.

Women have tried their best to undermine men, and now you expect them to take charge?
Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.

Let men be themselves in their daily lives, and they will naturally be dominant in the bedroom.
Masculinity has been so criticized that many men are afraid to show any signs of being dominant.

Because most men don’t actually display masculinity.

Mine is extremely masculine. He anticipates my every need and fulfills it beforehand, like if my car needs an oil change I don’t even have to ask, it’s handled. He grew up on a ranch and can do everything from shoeing a horse to handling firearms to fixing literally anything. He’s literally the only man I’ve ever met who I would 100% trust in an emergency. He still opens every door for me, pulls out my chair, takes me on dates, compliments how I look. He can run a 5 minute mile and knock out 20 pull-ups. He consults with me before making decisions and always makes the decision that benefits us, not just him. I’ve never seen him even glance at another woman and he treats all women with respect. And yes, he’s dominant in bed but also gentle and caring and checks to make sure I’m okay.

Too many boys are larping masculinity by just being loud, pushy, and obnoxious. I’ll be damned if some pudgy potato who can’t even change a flat tire and thinks “masculinity” is ranting in YouTube comments sections is going to try to boss me around in or out of the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA for the men on here: most of you need to be more dominant, especially if youve been married for a long time.

Ok but if you think you want him to be dominant in the bedroom then you have to accept him being dominant the rest of the time, too. Trying to compartmentalize it (he is dominant in the bedroom but I tell him what to do at all other times) isn’t going to work. Neither of you will believe his make-believe bedroom dominance.

This is incorrect.

It’s totally correct. There’s no way he’s not going to know that you’re only pretending to let him dominate and that at all other times you’d never in a million years let him tell you what to do. And you know it too. Neither of you is a good enough actor to temporarily suppress the true nature of your relationship.