Reply to How to tell DH I want him to be more dominant?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a very submissive and kinky woman, while my BF is basically a choir boy who had very little sexual experience when we met.

I found the best time to bring up what I wanted was during afterplay when we had sex. You’re already cuddling and feeling open/intimate, so I would tell him what I wanted to try next time. I found that when I told him in the moment during sex, he’d get panicked I sprung something new on him and he’d get shy and embarrassed.

I’d then follow up a day or two later with sexting. It’s an easier way to practice since he can think it through.

Also, be extremely explicit with what you want. “Talk dirtier” doesn’t work, you need to tell him exactly what you want him to say. Like the literal phrases.

And lots of positive reinforcement! Even if he doesn’t get it right the first time, respond enthusiastically. Once you move from 1-2 Os to 7-8 Os, he’s gonna realize how awesome it is and will do more without you needing to prompt him. [/quote]

PP - one more thing - during afterplay, ask what he wants next time. Make it clear you want to please him, that it turns you on to make his fantasies come true, that you want to be told what to do. [/quote]

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