Would you choose a great partner even though sex is mediocre?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're already longing for something else, sex-wise, then no.

I did marry an amazing guy and the sex is mediocre, and it's totally fine. But I'm not a super sexual person and neither is he. It's totally adequate and he is perfect and wonderful. Great choice for me!

I’m a super sexual partner. I just long for him to be a bit better at giving oral. Not a deal breaker but my two friends keep telling me it is. The sexual intercourse itself is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it because he’s selfish? Because if he’s selfish that way, he’ll end up being selfish in other ways.

Very giving lover. Sexual intercourse is great. I just wish he was better at giving oral.

That’s a technique thing. If the intercourse is great and he’s great in other ways, this is a keeper. Get him a book or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a 50-something woman, pick the good husband and good father. Mediocre sex will not ruin your life but a bad partner will. I am 20 years into a wonderful marriage to a guys who is pretty bad at sex. He is my best friend and a great dad and makes a lot of money. My life is really great. I would not trade one thing about him for better sex.

Good to know. I was leaning towards that because I love him but a couple friends keep telling me to not be with a man who doesn’t sexually satisfy all needs.

He does make a lot of money but I don’t care much about that. What I care about is that he treats me well. I feel comfortable with him, he’s a good person, and I find him so hot. Our values align and I love his personality. He’s also great with communication, financially stable, and I love his family.

He sounds like a keeper. Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

How much have you tried coaching him? I've found with men, you have to be extremely specific about what you want, and remind him over and over. It also helps to pull up videos of what you want and show him. For oral, I've even used my own mouth on a man's hand to show him exactly what I want.

Also keep in mind most men learned what to do in bed from p0rn, which is designed to look good on camera, not actually please a woman.

I would give it 90 days of intense coaching before giving up. You could also sign up for some courses or get books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He deserves a better woman. Please move on.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it because he’s selfish? Because if he’s selfish that way, he’ll end up being selfish in other ways.

Very giving lover. Sexual intercourse is great. I just wish he was better at giving oral.

Oral easy. You keep your tongue in one position and do an up and down motion..that's it. All that circle moving the tongue all over the place that's not how to eat coochie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a 50-something woman, pick the good husband and good father. Mediocre sex will not ruin your life but a bad partner will. I am 20 years into a wonderful marriage to a guys who is pretty bad at sex. He is my best friend and a great dad and makes a lot of money. My life is really great. I would not trade one thing about him for better sex.

Ditto.

-54 year old woman, married 20 years.

Yes, I wish sex was better, but I know that this would not compensate for a DH who is not a good life partner in every other way. Plus, if he's open to toys, as my DH is, that can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He deserves a better woman. Please move on.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000

+200000000000000000
Could see if the sex was bad but you’re squabbling over oral and at only six months in?

Girllll BYE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a 50-something woman, pick the good husband and good father. Mediocre sex will not ruin your life but a bad partner will. I am 20 years into a wonderful marriage to a guys who is pretty bad at sex. He is my best friend and a great dad and makes a lot of money. My life is really great. I would not trade one thing about him for better sex.

Same here, as another 52-year old woman. Sex is not terrible, there’s just not as much as I’d like at the quality I had before him. But everything else checks the boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much have you tried coaching him? I've found with men, you have to be extremely specific about what you want, and remind him over and over. It also helps to pull up videos of what you want and show him. For oral, I've even used my own mouth on a man's hand to show him exactly what I want.

Also keep in mind most men learned what to do in bed from p0rn, which is designed to look good on camera, not actually please a woman.

I would give it 90 days of intense coaching before giving up. You could also sign up for some courses or get books.

I haven’t done much. I’m submissive and like my men to take charge in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He deserves a better woman. Please move on.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000

+200000000000000000
Could see if the sex was bad but you’re squabbling over oral and at only six months in?

Girllll BYE!

Well I love sex. Love oral and want it daily if possible. I’ve always had a high sex drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He deserves a better woman. Please move on.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000

+200000000000000000
Could see if the sex was bad but you’re squabbling over oral and at only six months in?

Girllll BYE!

I don’t know if OP is a bad person but she’s already complaining to her FRIENDS about sex so early into the relationship. I would take this to mean that this is something that is really bothering her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much have you tried coaching him? I've found with men, you have to be extremely specific about what you want, and remind him over and over. It also helps to pull up videos of what you want and show him. For oral, I've even used my own mouth on a man's hand to show him exactly what I want.

Also keep in mind most men learned what to do in bed from p0rn, which is designed to look good on camera, not actually please a woman.

I would give it 90 days of intense coaching before giving up. You could also sign up for some courses or get books.

I haven’t done much. I’m submissive and like my men to take charge in the bedroom.

So you've told your friends but not him.

WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He deserves a better woman. Please move on.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000

+200000000000000000
Could see if the sex was bad but you’re squabbling over oral and at only six months in?

Girllll BYE!

I don’t know if OP is a bad person but she’s already complaining to her FRIENDS about sex so early into the relationship. I would take this to mean that this is something that is really bothering her.

I haven’t been complaining. We happen to talk about these things and I said sex was great but I wish he was better in the oral department. No long winded complaining.

[Anonymous]

This makes me think of the Sex and the City episode with Justin Theroux. His family is great, he is great, he’s also a writer. My friend and I were shouting at the screen during our last rewatch.

Yes. I would absolutely go to sex therapy or whatever with a great guy who needed to figure things out in bed.