Husband pressuring me to quit job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, when someone complains you need to determine: do they want help to solve this, or are they just venting? Your DH doesn’t seem to bother to clarify, and is jumping in the “I’ll help solve this”, when really all you want is to vent. Just tell him that. “I’m grumpy and need to vent. I just want you to listen and support me, not try to give solutions, ok?”
This is easily solved with some communication good luck!

But listening to someone whine is really painful, and if someone demanded I do it I would be very offended--if would feel like they are using me and actually wanting to punish me for some reason.

I don’t whine or complain for a long time. I’ve very blunt and give my honest assessment of my day. I only say what’s on my mind after I’m asked. It’s maybe 5 minutes and we move on. That’s still complaining to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, when someone complains you need to determine: do they want help to solve this, or are they just venting? Your DH doesn’t seem to bother to clarify, and is jumping in the “I’ll help solve this”, when really all you want is to vent. Just tell him that. “I’m grumpy and need to vent. I just want you to listen and support me, not try to give solutions, ok?”
This is easily solved with some communication good luck!

But listening to someone whine is really painful, and if someone demanded I do it I would be very offended--if would feel like they are using me and actually wanting to punish me for some reason.

If listening to your spouse talk is too much to handle, you might be better off single!

[Anonymous]

Op, you sound pathetic. He asks how your day is. Every day you say it's awful. He suggests you quit. How exactly is that pressuring you? I'm starting to think this is either a troll or you're just a complete helpless moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stand people who constantly complain about something and do nothing to change it. Get yourself a therapist because that's what you need at this point.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

Because you’re acting insane. Also, 19 weeks pregnant is the sweet spot. The second trimester EASY for the vast majority of women. God help your poor husband when you’re 37 weeks.

And you are definitely giving mommy martyr vibes, btw.

[Anonymous]

Boy these comments are harsh. Op is pregnant and going rhrpugh a rough time and husband is raising the issue. This forum is full of people who can be incredibly hard on people so ignore those voices.

One thing is: don't quit your job. Babies are expensive and even if you found a new job you likely wouldn't qualify for any maternity leave or protections like FMLA. Having a new baby is also a time of upheaval and change in relationships and you don't want to be setting certain precedents now.

I'd have an open conversation with him about how this makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to quit your job. Everyone has complaints about work but we do need to pay our bills. Especially at a time when it would be very hard to find a new job, sometimes you just have to put your head down and get through it. When you're more settled post kids then you may have the space to job hunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

This is so far from “demanding.” He’s trying to help you and is listening and concerned for you. And you’re complaining about that! Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound pathetic. He asks how your day is. Every day you say it's awful. He suggests you quit. How exactly is that pressuring you? I'm starting to think this is either a troll or you're just a complete helpless moron.

He brings it up daily, even when I don’t complain. Tells me how life will be much easier and he feels worried about me. That is a form of pressuring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound pathetic. He asks how your day is. Every day you say it's awful. He suggests you quit. How exactly is that pressuring you? I'm starting to think this is either a troll or you're just a complete helpless moron.

He brings it up daily, even when I don’t complain. Tells me how life will be much easier and he feels worried about me. That is a form of pressuring.

No it isn't. You are pitiful. I can't believe a grown woman is acting like this. The victim mentality is strong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

Because you’re acting insane. Also, 19 weeks pregnant is the sweet spot. The second trimester EASY for the vast majority of women. God help your poor husband when you’re 37 weeks.

And you are definitely giving mommy martyr vibes, btw.

19 weeks hasn’t been so sweet for me. I have a lot of aches and pains, heartburn, and still dealing with nausea and food issues.

I work in an oncology office with sick people. It’s very emotionally taxing watching sickness each day. I had a really rough last week when one of our beloved patients took a sudden turn for the worse. It’s been really hard now that I’m super emotional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy these comments are harsh. Op is pregnant and going rhrpugh a rough time and husband is raising the issue. This forum is full of people who can be incredibly hard on people so ignore those voices.

One thing is: don't quit your job. Babies are expensive and even if you found a new job you likely wouldn't qualify for any maternity leave or protections like FMLA. Having a new baby is also a time of upheaval and change in relationships and you don't want to be setting certain precedents now.

I'd have an open conversation with him about how this makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to quit your job. Everyone has complaints about work but we do need to pay our bills. Especially at a time when it would be very hard to find a new job, sometimes you just have to put your head down and get through it. When you're more settled post kids then you may have the space to job hunt.

Money isn’t really an issue for us. We have our jobs and other streams of income. It’s about giving up my independence and my sole identity turning into a wife and mom. My husband has always been a more traditional man but supported me working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

Because you’re acting insane. Also, 19 weeks pregnant is the sweet spot. The second trimester EASY for the vast majority of women. God help your poor husband when you’re 37 weeks.

And you are definitely giving mommy martyr vibes, btw.

Many women struggle at 19 weeks. You can only go off of your experience. Good for you that it was easy, but don’t cast judgement. I know many women who struggled in the second trimester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

It's ok to complain, but it's not ok to do it daily. He is trying to help you because you keep complaining but you are doing nothing to improve the situation.
If there is nothing you want to do to change the situation, stop complaining. Suck it up.

He brings up the subject even when I don’t say anything. It’s become a daily thing. He asks me how my day went. I tell him. He tells me what will solve my stressful work. He again tells me how I should quit and just stay home while he’s massaging me or rubbing my feet. I want to keep my independence as long as possible, but he tells me how worried about he is for me.

Because you’re acting insane. Also, 19 weeks pregnant is the sweet spot. The second trimester EASY for the vast majority of women. God help your poor husband when you’re 37 weeks.

And you are definitely giving mommy martyr vibes, btw.

19 weeks hasn’t been so sweet for me. I have a lot of aches and pains, heartburn, and still dealing with nausea and food issues.

I work in an oncology office with sick people. It’s very emotionally taxing watching sickness each day. I had a really rough last week when one of our beloved patients took a sudden turn for the worse. It’s been really hard now that I’m super emotional.

And now you're whining here for support. Your husband is trying to be helpful. You're making it known you're miserable and stressed and he's letting you know you can quit. He's worried that you're stressed and that it's taking a toll on you. That's what a good husband does. Your victim mentality is insane and you need to figure out how to get it in check before the baby is born. You sound incredibly immature.