Husband pressuring me to quit job

[Anonymous]

I work a very mentally stressful job that my husband has been pressuring me to quit. I have been complaining but all I want is supportive and someone to listen to me. He wants to talk action and have me quit. It's now a constant topic he brings us. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

See a therapist and talk to them.

[Anonymous]

How much are you complaining about your job?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, when someone complains you need to determine: do they want help to solve this, or are they just venting? Your DH doesn’t seem to bother to clarify, and is jumping in the “I’ll help solve this”, when really all you want is to vent. Just tell him that. “I’m grumpy and need to vent. I just want you to listen and support me, not try to give solutions, ok?”
This is easily solved with some communication good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are you complaining about your job?

Almost daily. I know that’s bad but I’m exhausted. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my patience to handle my job is much harder on me. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, when someone complains you need to determine: do they want help to solve this, or are they just venting? Your DH doesn’t seem to bother to clarify, and is jumping in the “I’ll help solve this”, when really all you want is to vent. Just tell him that. “I’m grumpy and need to vent. I just want you to listen and support me, not try to give solutions, ok?”
This is easily solved with some communication good luck!

We have been through this lol
He brought up me quitting after weeks of complaining. Now it’s a daily “ do you feel like you want to quit” talk.

[Anonymous]

Listening to someone complain about something they can't or won't change is exhausting. It's a romance killer, too. When my partner let his professional misery drag on too long, without taking any action to improve the situation, I felt myself starting to think of him as weak and helpless, just another dependent I had to manage.

Either stop complaining to him, or make a change. Ideally both. He can't make the change for you. You have to take some responsibility for your own life, without dumping on him every day.

I'm sympathetic. I've been there. But when I realized I was spending our time together every. single. day. moaning about it, I gave myself a mental shake and started applying. It's no way to live.

Could you check out mentally and coast til the baby's born?

[Anonymous]

I cannot stand people who constantly complain about something and do nothing to change it. Get yourself a therapist because that's what you need at this point.

[Anonymous]

Stop whining or quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to someone complain about something they can't or won't change is exhausting. It's a romance killer, too. When my partner let his professional misery drag on too long, without taking any action to improve the situation, I felt myself starting to think of him as weak and helpless, just another dependent I had to manage.

Either stop complaining to him, or make a change. Ideally both. He can't make the change for you. You have to take some responsibility for your own life, without dumping on him every day.

I'm sympathetic. I've been there. But when I realized I was spending our time together every. single. day. moaning about it, I gave myself a mental shake and started applying. It's no way to live.

Could you check out mentally and coast til the baby's born?

+1

Also OP he isn’t pressuring you to quit. He’s (in his mind) encouraging you to do the thing that your constant complaining surely makes it seem like you want to do. Framing it as him “pressuring” you is completely unfair and not representative of the actual dynamic.

[Anonymous]

People like you are exhausting. I can already predict you're going to be a martyr mom. No one wants to listen to you constantly complain about something and do nothing to change the situation. Either quit or find a therapist to help you deal with your issues. You'll start to kill your marriage if you just become a whiny, complaining martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work a very mentally stressful job that my husband has been pressuring me to quit. I have been complaining but all I want is supportive and someone to listen to me. He wants to talk action and have me quit. It's now a constant topic he brings us. What do I do?

One, you aren't an infant, so demanding babying is really off-putting, and two, who are you to demand another person do something. If he doesn't want to do something you can't force him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listening to someone complain about something they can't or won't change is exhausting. It's a romance killer, too. When my partner let his professional misery drag on too long, without taking any action to improve the situation, I felt myself starting to think of him as weak and helpless, just another dependent I had to manage.

Either stop complaining to him, or make a change. Ideally both. He can't make the change for you. You have to take some responsibility for your own life, without dumping on him every day.

I'm sympathetic. I've been there. But when I realized I was spending our time together every. single. day. moaning about it, I gave myself a mental shake and started applying. It's no way to live.

Could you check out mentally and coast til the baby's born?

+1

Also OP he isn’t pressuring you to quit. He’s (in his mind) encouraging you to do the thing that your constant complaining surely makes it seem like you want to do. Framing it as him “pressuring” you is completely unfair and not representative of the actual dynamic.

No kidding. OP sounds like an absolute nightmare. I feel bad for her husband. He's trying to be supportive and she's mad at him. So he should just sit and shut up and listen to her complain every day. What a fun marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, when someone complains you need to determine: do they want help to solve this, or are they just venting? Your DH doesn’t seem to bother to clarify, and is jumping in the “I’ll help solve this”, when really all you want is to vent. Just tell him that. “I’m grumpy and need to vent. I just want you to listen and support me, not try to give solutions, ok?”
This is easily solved with some communication good luck!

But listening to someone whine is really painful, and if someone demanded I do it I would be very offended--if would feel like they are using me and actually wanting to punish me for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People like you are exhausting. I can already predict you're going to be a martyr mom. No one wants to listen to you constantly complain about something and do nothing to change the situation. Either quit or find a therapist to help you deal with your issues. You'll start to kill your marriage if you just become a whiny, complaining martyr.

I don’t know what that is but I assure you I will be a great mom. I’m a great wife and my husband tells me that often.

I don’t sit there and complain constantly. I will say how my day sucked after he asks me about my day. That’s the extent of complaining.