POLL: Is boarding school on the table for your rising 8th grader?

[Anonymous]

Not on the table at all. I want him home with me for the next 4 years. He will be out in the world soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not on the table at all. I want him home with me for the next 4 years. He will be out in the world soon enough.

So it's about you, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine has been there a year after a big 3 here in DC and LOVES it. The best decision IMHO is to go and look and have it as an option. It is not for everyone.

Mine was lucky enough to have a choice between several top schools -- and for the OP -- I would not in our case let the decision be about geography as we were initially gravitating towards those in the 3 hour range (esp lawrenceville) but we ended up in New England.

I cannot say enough good things about the choice, though it was not my idea. The first month I cried a lot. Texting and skype help, and there are LOTS of breaks, and we went there to visit and watch games too. These schools are incredibly impressive, the faculty, the facilities and the kids around you. It is truly the best and brightest. Some of the accomplshments of our child's classmates are eye popping. We love the Harkness method of teaching, 12 kids around a table discussing the reading and leading the class themselves over some rote teacher at the front of a regular classroom lecturing. Lots of offerings and the chance to take hugely advanced classes. Mine will be in an AP class this year as a sophomore for example. Sports and arts and clubs are absolutely awesome too.

People ask all the time, what did your child do wrong that you sent them off? They have no idea that boarding schools are not like that anymore.

There is usually a reception in October of the Ten Schools Association (not all but many of the top schools). You should go as you can learn a lot from being there, with a relatively low investment.

Not to burst your private boarding school bubble, but my public school don't-have-to-pay-and-still-get-to-see-my-kid sophmore will be taking TWO ap classes this year. AP as a sophmore is just not that special. It's normal.

[Anonymous]

seriously this is a private school forum. go advocate your free (get what you pay for) public school somewhere else. Oh yeah there is a public school forum for that!

And by the way most of these elite boarding schools have so much money and endowment that they have about 50% of the kids on financial aid. So there. People with a certain income (75k or less) can actually have their kids go for FREE. Oh gee the same cost of your cutting sports/arts/etc public school systems.

Glad your kid will be taking 2 ap classes sophomore year, but I can tell you, that ain't the norm. You should be proud as opposed to some preachy not to burst your bubble b&*%h

[Anonymous]

21:41

Yes it is about me. I am his parent and I believe I am the best person to guide him through the teenage years. He has plenty of time to be able to develop independence and manage in the world on his own.

Once again, meaness just shines through. Enjoy your weekend. Getting your aggression out on these boards must be doing something for you.

[Anonymous]

Goodness gracious, people are mean on this forum. Most of you all are in such a wonderful position -- enough money to send your child to the school of your choice, enough intelligence to know that education is important..... why so angry? Many of you might benefit from looking into anti-depressants. Prozac has helped me manage my anger.

[Anonymous]

I think boarding schools look really interesting for the right kind of kid ... really smart and mature enough adolescent to thrive in that type of situation. I don't think my child fits either criteria well enough although it is a bit early to tell. Financially, it will not be possible. And I do think it is okay to be a bit "selfish" about wanting to keep your child home for a few more years ... I don't think wanting to interact with your child on a daily basis and "slog through the day to day" stuff will hold them back so terribly if they are in a decent school and are given enough freedom to grow and explore a bit. As a mother of an only child, I am in no hurry to lose that daily contact with my kid. No judgment about those parents who are ready ... I'm just not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not on the table at all. I want him home with me for the next 4 years. He will be out in the world soon enough.

So it's about you, then?

NP here, but boarding school is also off the table for our child and yes, it's about us in a number of ways. There are a lot of things that our children have wanted to do over the years to which my husband and I have said no. Parenting is about making exactly those decisions about what you believe is best for your family.

[Anonymous]

Having been a day student at a bording school (in Baltimore) no way. Let me say more clearly NO WAY. The bording school kids were having sex earlier and did drugs way before the day kids. Then we thought it was so cool...now I think it's horrific. I want him home with me - not for education but for the morality that parents bring (call me old fashioned, my kid - my rules).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:seriously this is a private school forum. go advocate your free (get what you pay for) public school somewhere else. Oh yeah there is a public school forum for that!

And by the way most of these elite boarding schools have so much money and endowment that they have about 50% of the kids on financial aid. So there. People with a certain income (75k or less) can actually have their kids go for FREE. Oh gee the same cost of your cutting sports/arts/etc public school systems.

Glad your kid will be taking 2 ap classes sophomore year, but I can tell you, that ain't the norm. You should be proud as opposed to some preachy not to burst your bubble b&*%h

NP here - I've got one kid at boarding school and one at public school. The public school kid is taking an AP in 9th grade. The boarding school kid has not taken APs. But that's the great thing - one school works well for one and one works well for the other. It's really all about the kid.

[Anonymous]

Let me just say that boarding schools (the good ones) have no different drug or sex issues than ANY schools -- public or independent here. Most kids in HS are confronted with alcohol at parties and hooking up, whether under their parents roof or not. Some of you may feel you are better off with your kid watching them day to day,but for those contemplating boarding school, do not let some of this anonymous "no way" message board sway you one single bit. Many schools have a one strike you are out policy. That's a lot to risk and the overwhelming majority of kids abide by the rules. Big 3 schools here have had plenty of weed and teen age drinking issue,s but since it happens on a friday night away from school (usually), kids know who partakes but no one gets tossed since it did not happen at school.

When people say oh kids at boarding schools are having sex earlier, how the hell do they know that? And how? At our DC's school, there are dorm parents and single sex dorms and no visiting really and Saturday half day classes (thus only one night a week rather than 2 which is not a school night, less idle time to get into trouble!).

I urge those considering it to do so and ignore these anonymous postings that somehow make you feel you are a bad parent for possibly sending your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having been a day student at a bording school (in Baltimore) no way. Let me say more clearly NO WAY. The bording school kids were having sex earlier and did drugs way before the day kids. Then we thought it was so cool...now I think it's horrific. I want him home with me - not for education but for the morality that parents bring (call me old fashioned, my kid - my rules).

Yeah, I'm sure it was quite a quality "bording" school you attended. Or maybe you're just a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having been a day student at a bording school (in Baltimore) no way. Let me say more clearly NO WAY. The bording school kids were having sex earlier and did drugs way before the day kids. Then we thought it was so cool...now I think it's horrific. I want him home with me - not for education but for the morality that parents bring (call me old fashioned, my kid - my rules).

I might note that the schools in Baltimore (and surrounding area) with boarding options are not the good boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

Yes, everything good and everything bad is available everywhere. You look for what you think will work best for your kid. If you are an absentee parent, it doesn't make alot of difference if you keep your kids home or send them to boarding school. Sometimes when you're a highly involved parent, things still don't work out the way you hope. No one rule, as a PP stated. There are some schools that I would love to send my kid to, but given who she is, it's probably better to have her at home. When I worked with college students, there were enough bright, delightful well-rounded students who went to the "best" (re: 12:20 & 12:36) boarding schools who described the difficulties of negative peer pressure in a 24/7 environment. It's real; it doesn't matter how highly ranked the school is. It doesn't mean there isn't a great education or experience to be had. Consider who your child is.

[Anonymous]

Side question picking up on the original post: Is Peddie a well-regarded boarding school these days?

I ask because I grew up near there, and it did not have a great reputation then, nor were its college admissions stats impressive.

Of course, things can change quite a bit in 20 years. But I don't remember it being worth the tradeoffs involved in having your child not live at home during HS.

Now, Lawrenceville is another story . . . .