Is it your DH’s job to protect you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

In Alabama someone would pick you up in their truck and take you to get gas then drive you back to your car and make sure you were safe

This is pretty much true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re married do you loosely speaking consider it your DH’s job to protect you and the kids? Say there’s a noise in the middle of the night…..should he go check it out? If you ran out of gas while driving at night and someone had to walk a mile to the gas station, should he do it?

Yes.

However he’s too lazy and selfish. He sleeps with ear plugs in so never woke for the baby, night snowfall and freezing, noises, etc.

He also wouldn’t know what to do. So ignoring issues or noises or people is his MO.

Never getting up with the baby is BS, but why do you want him to wake up for snow?

[Anonymous]

Yes, very much so.

I have many roles in our marriage and my H has many roles as well. That being said, it's not specifically that he is a man but the fact that he is a man is why he is immensely stronger than I am. He's also trained in combat fighting, (Krav Maga) and he is trained in using a gun. All our guns are in safes at all times unless they are holstered. If he were disabled or less trained than me then no he would not be responsible for that. He has coworkers who are female and they would be more likely to be the "protector".

I have 1 son who is extremely strong and trained in Jui Jitsu, I very much felt he has a responsibility to protect people in the face of danger and he has stopped a few fights in middle school and HS. Once there was a fight at school and my son was brought into the principal's office to help him understand why my son didn't stop it and it was because he left for a doctor's appointment. I do think that this is a very unusual situation because my son happens to be extremely strong. I would not expect this of my other 2 sons.

Also, I expect my H to kill spiders. I can deal with all other bugs.

This is pretty much the only "gender norm" we have.

[Anonymous]

We have outsourced this role to a German Shepherd and honestly he’s a lot better suited to it than DH.

[Anonymous]

My DH is 6'4" and is strong and physically fit, and looks pretty intimidating. He definitely takes the lead on being protective. He is also in charge of getting rid of all bugs. If it is a non-poisonous type, he captures it and takes it outside. It makes me smile every time I see this giant dude gently cupping a little bug to carry it outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, very much so.

I have many roles in our marriage and my H has many roles as well. That being said, it's not specifically that he is a man but the fact that he is a man is why he is immensely stronger than I am. He's also trained in combat fighting, (Krav Maga) and he is trained in using a gun. All our guns are in safes at all times unless they are holstered. If he were disabled or less trained than me then no he would not be responsible for that. He has coworkers who are female and they would be more likely to be the "protector".

I have 1 son who is extremely strong and trained in Jui Jitsu, I very much felt he has a responsibility to protect people in the face of danger and he has stopped a few fights in middle school and HS. Once there was a fight at school and my son was brought into the principal's office to help him understand why my son didn't stop it and it was because he left for a doctor's appointment. I do think that this is a very unusual situation because my son happens to be extremely strong. I would not expect this of my other 2 sons.

Also, I expect my H to kill spiders. I can deal with all other bugs.

This is pretty much the only "gender norm" we have.

I wouldn’t brag that your kid was expected by the principal to break up a fight. That level of responsibility double edged sword and the principal isn’t doing their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but why’d you run out of gas?

Because OP failed to do her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but why’d you run out of gas?

Because OP failed to do her job.

Right, bcause if society and gender norms dictate that it's safer for the man to do the manly protection jobs, then the woman has to do somehting.

I am saying this because I am angry about how it's actually true, not in this siutation but generally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 6'4" and is strong and physically fit, and looks pretty intimidating. He definitely takes the lead on being protective. He is also in charge of getting rid of all bugs. If it is a non-poisonous type, he captures it and takes it outside. It makes me smile every time I see this giant dude gently cupping a little bug to carry it outside.

Do you often encounter poisonous bugs? Can I assume you don't live in the DC area?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

What the hell are you talking about?

You think non white people don't get attacked in the street?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have outsourced this role to a German Shepherd and honestly he’s a lot better suited to it than DH.

Your GS can walk a mile for gasoline? Smart dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have outsourced this role to a German Shepherd and honestly he’s a lot better suited to it than DH.

Your GS can walk a mile for gasoline? Smart dog.

Have you ever met a GSD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

In Alabama someone would pick you up in their truck and take you to get gas then drive you back to your car and make sure you were safe

This.

Your safety is more at risk in DC than Alabama.

Your knee jerk stereotype of the south is delusional. And your inability to recognize danger in your own area is actual pretty risky.

[Anonymous]

It should be, but alas, I end up checking the noises because DH usually thinks it's nothing. I'm a bit of an anxious person. TBF, the noise has been nothing, so far. But, if he thought it was serious, he'd probably go down. It takes him longer to go downstairs though because he sleeps in the buff, so he has to put some clothes on first.

Getting gas at night, yea, he'd do it, no question.