Is it your DH’s job to protect you?

[Anonymous]

If you’re married do you loosely speaking consider it your DH’s job to protect you and the kids? Say there’s a noise in the middle of the night…..should he go check it out? If you ran out of gas while driving at night and someone had to walk a mile to the gas station, should he do it?

[Anonymous]

I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

DP...our family is never setting foot in Alabama.

[Anonymous]

I've never been in those circumstances so it's hard to say. The days of running out of gas seem unlikely given today's technology. As far as a noise in the night, my husband is a very deep sleeper and does not function well when first awakened. I think the dog would scare people off.

[Anonymous]

My husband checks out the noises in the night, and, we have an alarm system with a keypad in our bedroom. If he weren't there, or he went downstairs and I heard screams or whatever, I could push a button and have the police at our house fairly quick

As for running out of gas, we'd call roadside assistance if truly in the middle of nowhere, but literally one mile, he would walk because itd be so much faster (he can get there more quickly than me - he's a runner and has longer legs)

[Anonymous]

It’s a mutual job to protect one another and our kids. I’m the noise investigator. He would be the one to go get gas.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't necessarily think of your examples as "protecting." I would think that a man generally is in a better position to do these things than a woman in terms of safety, esp if the man is white. So in our marriage when one of us is much better at doing things, that person usually does it.

although i suppose i could use the same argument to say i am repsonsible for all the kids stuff, esp as society makes it easier for me as a woman to do those things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

In Alabama someone would pick you up in their truck and take you to get gas then drive you back to your car and make sure you were safe

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re married do you loosely speaking consider it your DH’s job to protect you and the kids? Say there’s a noise in the middle of the night…..should he go check it out? If you ran out of gas while driving at night and someone had to walk a mile to the gas station, should he do it?

Yes.

However he’s too lazy and selfish. He sleeps with ear plugs in so never woke for the baby, night snowfall and freezing, noises, etc.

He also wouldn’t know what to do. So ignoring issues or noises or people is his MO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

Him walking out at as WHITE male won't protect him from another bad actor WHITE male in the middle of nowhere in deep Alabama.

Sure. But statistics wise, a male being alone at night is safer than a female being alone at night. And yes, I included race because it is 100% a factor in this discussion. I don't think anyone can deny that a 40 year old white man walking around at night is going to be viewed differently than a 40 year old black male.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but why’d you run out of gas?

[Anonymous]

Watch the original version of the movie "Force Majeure." It's English subtitles. It's a dark comedy about whether or not a husband protected his wife and children during a life threatening emergency.

[Anonymous]

We would stay in the car together (huddled if it was cold) until it got light. If the kids were with us, DH would walk.If I was with him, we'd walk together to get help.

When we hear a noise, DH goes to investigate, I go to check on the kids.