Is it your DH’s job to protect you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily think it's HIS job to protect me, it's more just facts. DH would be a lot more level headed investigating a noise at night. Id be anxious and freaked out and that wouldn't help anyone. DH just handles these things better than me.

As for the car situation, it sucks but yeah, statistically it would be safer for him to walk as a white male than for me to do it as a white female.

What does ethnicity have to do with anything? Also, men are more likely to be victims of violent crime. 87% of violent crime victims are men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has made the significant point that whatever you may think about whose job it is to protect you, your DH certainly thinks that is his job (unless he's a truly pathetic and broken specimen) and has likely put more thought into it than you give him credit for.

+1 Our biggest fight when we were dating was when I was driving and picked up a stranded motorist who had run out of gas on the side of the road. My now-DH was seething for hours because he was so angry that I would do such a thing, and when we finally were able to have a conversation about it his reasoning was absolutely bonkers to me - the guy was seated behind him in the car so he could have killed him before getting to me and he didn't have a clean line of sight and what if he had a weapon and and and.

I was like, "the weeping tiny gay guy in our backseat who cried all the way to the gas station about being dumped that morning? That guy?" But DH's mindset was so far removed from mine that I was really awakened to the extent that he's got his head on a swivel at all times. Sees threats where I see none and firmly believes it's his job to handle them.

That guy was not a threat (and most people aren't), but if a threat materializes I promise DH believes it's his job to handle it.

Well yeah, just because he’s a weeping tiny gay man, he’s still a a man, and a strange man inside your car at that. Gay men can be crazies, short men can be crazies, teenaged boys can be crazies.

I’d be upset about this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active. Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal. One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.

You’re the weirdo here. Why am I not allowed to socialize with moms at the playground? What do you think I’m going to do, drag them into the plastic tunnel for a quickie?

Meeting a mom or moms at the playground so the kids can run around together is “something active” as well as being utterly innocuous.

If it works for you, then it’s fine. Pp said that the mom’s in her social circle don’t set up play dates with her husband.

I don’t think you are trying to have a quickie if you set up play dates with other moms at the playground. It’s just a bit odd if you are constantly trying to call women to hang out with you on the playground and getting all upset that you are rebuffed. Maybe try talking to some men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active. Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal. One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.

You’re the weirdo here. Why am I not allowed to socialize with moms at the playground? What do you think I’m going to do, drag them into the plastic tunnel for a quickie?

Meeting a mom or moms at the playground so the kids can run around together is “something active” as well as being utterly innocuous.

If it works for you, then it’s fine. Pp said that the mom’s in her social circle don’t set up play dates with her husband.

I don’t think you are trying to have a quickie if you set up play dates with other moms at the playground. It’s just a bit odd if you are constantly trying to call women to hang out with you on the playground and getting all upset that you are rebuffed. Maybe try talking to some men?

Yeah- dude go back to the boys in the other side of the gym. The playground is for kids and this playground says “girls only.”

And don’t ask us to play or you will be odd (it’s the new weird but for cool girls!)

[Anonymous]

Yes. That is part of his job.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

I'm 6'4" and 277 lb of solid muscles. If someone wants to break in in the middle of the night to FAFO, I will be the one they run into, not my 5 one hundred pound wife.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a DH. After reading these posts, I can't believe I'm not dead without a man to protect me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active. Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal. One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.

You’re the weirdo here. Why am I not allowed to socialize with moms at the playground? What do you think I’m going to do, drag them into the plastic tunnel for a quickie?

Meeting a mom or moms at the playground so the kids can run around together is “something active” as well as being utterly innocuous.

If it works for you, then it’s fine. Pp said that the mom’s in her social circle don’t set up play dates with her husband.

I don’t think you are trying to have a quickie if you set up play dates with other moms at the playground. It’s just a bit odd if you are constantly trying to call women to hang out with you on the playground and getting all upset that you are rebuffed. Maybe try talking to some men?

Yeah- dude go back to the boys in the other side of the gym. The playground is for kids and this playground says “girls only.”

And don’t ask us to play or you will be odd (it’s the new weird but for cool girls!)

Pp here. I mean, kind of. It’s not “girls only,” and if you both happen to be there it’s fine. But it’s odd for a man to call women he doesn’t know very well and ask them to meet him at the playground.

Like I said, my social circle is pretty conservative, but I see a lot of SAHDs and working dads (including my husband) arranging playdates and outings and trips with their kids. If pp would like for her kids and husband to make friends, then she should encourage this.
If she just wants to prove a point about gender roles, then by all means, she should continue doing what she’s doing and blame everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not my husband's job to protect me and the kids. It's my job to protect them. I would investigate the noise at night. I would walk to the gas station at night.
I'm stronger than my husband. I would beat him in a fight.

Yeah, my sister is a 6'1'' former college soccer player. She definitely doesn't need a man to protect her.

Everyone has a great plan until they get punched in the face. Men are stronger and more physical. I doubt ^^ is stronger than her husband, husband just doesn’t want to think about fighting you or blab about being able to. My wife works out like mad and is very strong, for a female, I go to the gym a few times a week and do mostly cardio so I don’t focus on strength. Yet I am significantly stronger, it is not a contest.

Yes, men should always be the first in line to protect women and children and anyone else that needs protection. ALWAYS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not my husband's job to protect me and the kids. It's my job to protect them. I would investigate the noise at night. I would walk to the gas station at night.
I'm stronger than my husband. I would beat him in a fight.

Yeah, my sister is a 6'1'' former college soccer player. She definitely doesn't need a man to protect her.

Everyone has a great plan until they get punched in the face. Men are stronger and more physical. I doubt ^^ is stronger than her husband, husband just doesn’t want to think about fighting you or blab about being able to. My wife works out like mad and is very strong, for a female, I go to the gym a few times a week and do mostly cardio so I don’t focus on strength. Yet I am significantly stronger, it is not a contest.

Yes, men should always be the first in line to protect women and children and anyone else that needs protection. ALWAYS.

My sister's a lesbian and yet somehow has managed to live her adult life without needing some man to protect her.

These weird hypos where someone's going to attack you. Like since when have you been attacked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not my husband's job to protect me and the kids. It's my job to protect them. I would investigate the noise at night. I would walk to the gas station at night.
I'm stronger than my husband. I would beat him in a fight.

Yeah, my sister is a 6'1'' former college soccer player. She definitely doesn't need a man to protect her.

Everyone has a great plan until they get punched in the face. Men are stronger and more physical. I doubt ^^ is stronger than her husband, husband just doesn’t want to think about fighting you or blab about being able to. My wife works out like mad and is very strong, for a female, I go to the gym a few times a week and do mostly cardio so I don’t focus on strength. Yet I am significantly stronger, it is not a contest.

Yes, men should always be the first in line to protect women and children and anyone else that needs protection. ALWAYS.

My sister's a lesbian and yet somehow has managed to live her adult life without needing some man to protect her.

These weird hypos where someone's going to attack you. Like since when have you been attacked?

+1
Let's be real here, a lot of these posts are clearly submission fetishes.

[Anonymous]

I would always think the biggest and strongest person would step into the gap if there was any sort of physical threat or task . . . that just makes logistical sense. Many times that's the husband, but not always.

The downstairs owner had put out glue traps for bugs at my mom's beach house, and there was a live mouse caught in it. My mom is 82 and somewhat frail, and my husband hadn't joined us yet, so I knew the task of dealing with it humanely fell to me. But I did have a moment where my brain tried to think of someone else to do it, lol/sob. My mom even suggested asking the renters, but I figured people paying $10k for a week at the beach would not appreciate having to kill a mouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active. Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal. One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.

You’re the weirdo here. Why am I not allowed to socialize with moms at the playground? What do you think I’m going to do, drag them into the plastic tunnel for a quickie?

Meeting a mom or moms at the playground so the kids can run around together is “something active” as well as being utterly innocuous.

If it works for you, then it’s fine. Pp said that the mom’s in her social circle don’t set up play dates with her husband.

I don’t think you are trying to have a quickie if you set up play dates with other moms at the playground. It’s just a bit odd if you are constantly trying to call women to hang out with you on the playground and getting all upset that you are rebuffed. Maybe try talking to some men?

All that was a long time ago but no, I was not “constantly” trying to set up play dates with the moms and getting rebuffed. It was either with moms or dads, depending on who was available. There was no particular effort to make sure it was with the dads. I’m sorry you have such a disordered mentality that you think there’s anything odd about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If your husband wants to set up playdates, then he should set them up with other men doing something active. Men taking their kids fishing or sledding is normal. One dude hanging out and gossiping with a bunch of women while the kids play on the playground is kind of weird.

You’re the weirdo here. Why am I not allowed to socialize with moms at the playground? What do you think I’m going to do, drag them into the plastic tunnel for a quickie?

Meeting a mom or moms at the playground so the kids can run around together is “something active” as well as being utterly innocuous.

If it works for you, then it’s fine. Pp said that the mom’s in her social circle don’t set up play dates with her husband.

I don’t think you are trying to have a quickie if you set up play dates with other moms at the playground. It’s just a bit odd if you are constantly trying to call women to hang out with you on the playground and getting all upset that you are rebuffed. Maybe try talking to some men?

Yeah- dude go back to the boys in the other side of the gym. The playground is for kids and this playground says “girls only.”

And don’t ask us to play or you will be odd (it’s the new weird but for cool girls!)

Pp here. I mean, kind of. It’s not “girls only,” and if you both happen to be there it’s fine. But it’s odd for a man to call women he doesn’t know very well and ask them to meet him at the playground.

But… I did know these women and their DHs because their kids went to the same day care as mine. The kids wanted to have play dates because they were friends there. Also all the kids went to each other’s birthday parties, sometimes there’d be meetups at the local pools etc.