She was 17. He was 47. #MeToo changed how she thinks of their relationship

[Anonymous]

My grandmother was 15 when she married my grandfather who was in his 20s. Arranged marriage. To this day, my family acts like her being married at 15 and birthing 7 children was a love story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers in life find each other.
He cheated on his wife and kids with a 17yo!!! What a immoral mess. She was preyed upon, but still an idiot for then shacking up with him.
Whole thing is gross.

She was 17!!!!!!!

She still had a brain.

Why did she move in with him?

I’m not sure I buy these victim stories from older teens. When I was 17, guys in their 20s hit on me all the time. I didn’t move in with them.

Yes, he was a creep, but she went along with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother was 15 when she married my grandfather who was in his 20s. Arranged marriage. To this day, my family acts like her being married at 15 and birthing 7 children was a love story.

This used to be normal.

I knew a couple who met while she was in high school and he was a teacher. He knew not to approach her until after she graduated. I always heard that he asked for her number just after she graduated. I hope that’s true! She didn’t seem traumatized to me. They died about 15 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds absolutely insufferable. Typical narcissist artist.

Most NPR podcasts I’ve listened to only interview self absorbed people, preferably ones who like being victims. I stopped listening almost a decade ago and my mental health immediately improved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers in life find each other.
He cheated on his wife and kids with a 17yo!!! What a immoral mess. She was preyed upon, but still an idiot for then shacking up with him.
Whole thing is gross.

She was 17!!!!!!!

She still had a brain.

Why did she move in with him?

I’m not sure I buy these victim stories from older teens. When I was 17, guys in their 20s hit on me all the time. I didn’t move in with them.

Yes, he was a creep, but she went along with it.

Why don't you blame the predator who groomed her while he was married instead of a 17 year old girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers in life find each other.
He cheated on his wife and kids with a 17yo!!! What a immoral mess. She was preyed upon, but still an idiot for then shacking up with him.
Whole thing is gross.

She was 17!!!!!!!

She still had a brain.

Why did she move in with him?

I’m not sure I buy these victim stories from older teens. When I was 17, guys in their 20s hit on me all the time. I didn’t move in with them.

Yes, he was a creep, but she went along with it.

Why don't you blame the predator who groomed her while he was married instead of a 17 year old girl?

They’d rather blame drag queens for grooming than actual groomers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers in life find each other.
He cheated on his wife and kids with a 17yo!!! What a immoral mess. She was preyed upon, but still an idiot for then shacking up with him.
Whole thing is gross.

She was 17!!!!!!!

She still had a brain.

Why did she move in with him?

I’m not sure I buy these victim stories from older teens. When I was 17, guys in their 20s hit on me all the time. I didn’t move in with them.

Yes, he was a creep, but she went along with it.

Why don't you blame the predator who groomed her while he was married instead of a 17 year old girl?

Sadly DCUM has been overtaken by trolls.
It's pretty normal for misogynistic, racist and abuse sympathizing posts to go unchecked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother was 15 when she married my grandfather who was in his 20s. Arranged marriage. To this day, my family acts like her being married at 15 and birthing 7 children was a love story.

This used to be normal.

I knew a couple who met while she was in high school and he was a teacher. He knew not to approach her until after she graduated. I always heard that he asked for her number just after she graduated. I hope that’s true! She didn’t seem traumatized to me. They died about 15 years ago.

I think it's a misrepresenting to say it was normal.

Most were not marrying before 18 or 19 and when they did the grooms were the same age or close to it. Not 10, 20, 30 years older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losers in life find each other.
He cheated on his wife and kids with a 17yo!!! What a immoral mess. She was preyed upon, but still an idiot for then shacking up with him.
Whole thing is gross.

She was 17!!!!!!!

She still had a brain.

Why did she move in with him?

I’m not sure I buy these victim stories from older teens. When I was 17, guys in their 20s hit on me all the time. I didn’t move in with them.

Yes, he was a creep, but she went along with it.

Did you even listen to the whole episode?

Her father was mentally ill and like autistic, left the family. She had no father figure in her life.

Her divorced mother was dating a married man. Her mom's best friend was also dating a married man. All while she was a teen girl. So this was absolutely normalized for her as an acceptable relationship - that's incredibly damaging to a young woman's psyche.

My big question that they did not address - what happened to his biological children? Did they have a relationship with her? Did the father never speak with them again? It was only in hindsight as she matured into an adult that she realized that she ruined another family.

At least she had the sense to not bring children into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother was 15 when she married my grandfather who was in his 20s. Arranged marriage. To this day, my family acts like her being married at 15 and birthing 7 children was a love story.

If this is in a traditional society (Indian, for example) where arranged marriages are (were?) commonplace, this is not a bad outcome. It’s not like there was a dating scene your grandmother missed out on. And honestly it works both ways. Older men forced in arranged marriages with incompatible younger women. Yes - they have a lifetime of marriage to show for it including a bunch of kids - but happiness? That is an open question.

But you really have to look at the issue in context. What is the counter factual? Were there better options for your grandmother?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's great, but I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation. There are people (men and women) who are wonderful at age 18—they're sexually adults and completely capable of being intelligent, thoughtful, charming people.

Okay, so I can't think of any 17 or 18yo that I can stand to spend more than 3 minutes with, but her kvetching about this, especially because they apparently were married for decades long after she was inappropriately young, makes this feel more like an attention grab than a serious concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother was 15 when she married my grandfather who was in his 20s. Arranged marriage. To this day, my family acts like her being married at 15 and birthing 7 children was a love story.

My great grandmother was 14 and my great-grandfather was 28. When they went out in public, he made her walk ahead of him because people thought she was his daughter. He was a violent alcoholic, and she knew literally nothing about his past—she believes he maybe had a brother in the old country, but she never knew (I know more about him than she ever did because I found his immigration records). Nobody acted like it was a love story, but also everyone thought it was normal. But back then, marriage was not about love. He had a job, and her parents didn't have to support her anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's great, but I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation. There are people (men and women) who are wonderful at age 18—they're sexually adults and completely capable of being intelligent, thoughtful, charming people.

Okay, so I can't think of any 17 or 18yo that I can stand to spend more than 3 minutes with, but her kvetching about this, especially because they apparently were married for decades long after she was inappropriately young, makes this feel more like an attention grab than a serious concern.

I'd almost believe you if he was 17 or 18 himself. But a 47 year old man who pursues a 17 year old girl will always be a predator in my mind. What could they possibly have in common?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's great, but I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation. There are people (men and women) who are wonderful at age 18—they're sexually adults and completely capable of being intelligent, thoughtful, charming people.

Okay, so I can't think of any 17 or 18yo that I can stand to spend more than 3 minutes with, but her kvetching about this, especially because they apparently were married for decades long after she was inappropriately young, makes this feel more like an attention grab than a serious concern.

I'd almost believe you if he was 17 or 18 himself. But a 47 year old man who pursues a 17 year old girl will always be a predator in my mind. What could they possibly have in common?

She sounds like an incredibly unappealing person in general, so I can't answer that. But they did stay married for a long time, so clearly there was something else going on besides an interest in 17yos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's great, but I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation. There are people (men and women) who are wonderful at age 18—they're sexually adults and completely capable of being intelligent, thoughtful, charming people.

Okay, so I can't think of any 17 or 18yo that I can stand to spend more than 3 minutes with, but her kvetching about this, especially because they apparently were married for decades long after she was inappropriately young, makes this feel more like an attention grab than a serious concern.

I'd almost believe you if he was 17 or 18 himself. But a 47 year old man who pursues a 17 year old girl will always be a predator in my mind. What could they possibly have in common?

She sounds like an incredibly unappealing person in general, so I can't answer that. But they did stay married for a long time, so clearly there was something else going on besides an interest in 17yos.

Totally irrelevant and a matter of your opinion. She was still 17 and he was 47. Just because you marry your victim doesn't make it right.

Same goes for Celene Dion and Rene. She was 12 when she met him nad he was 38 and married, but they supposedly waited until she was of age to start dating. They were also married for a long time. It doesn't make him any less of a predator. Just sick stuff.