She was 17. He was 47. #MeToo changed how she thinks of their relationship

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

I'm so glad that #metoo happened. Exposes people like you and makes sure that your behavior is checked and not normalized.

Step off your high horse. I’d have more sympathy for this woman if she hadn’t insisted that her paramour leave his wife.

She was no "woman" when he groomed her and pursued her. It was his job to uphold his vows. Do you always blame the other woman when the husband chooses to cheat?

I don’t blame just the man. Are you an other woman?

Again, she was 17 and he was 47 and married. If she were in her 40s and his contemporary and knew he was married, I'd be saying something different. But he went after a child while he was married. He is scum and the fact that you blame them both equally means you are too.

NP here. Stop the BS. She was happily married for 45 years. More than what you and many moral warriors here would ever achieve. Who cares how their relationship started when they had a f*ing 45 year happy life.
You are jealous because your "perfect marriage" turned out to be a nightmare and didn't last.

Are you joking??? Would you say the same thing if she was 12 and he was 42?? Who cares! They ended up happy! It doesnt matter he was a pedophile and groomed his child bride!

Wtf is wrong with people

Nobody said that it would be the same thing if she was 12. There is a huge difference between 12 and 17.
They got legally married because 17 was a legal age to get married. They didn't break any law.
12 was not a legal age to get married. You are comparing apple and oranges.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

I'm so glad that #metoo happened. Exposes people like you and makes sure that your behavior is checked and not normalized.

Step off your high horse. I’d have more sympathy for this woman if she hadn’t insisted that her paramour leave his wife.

She was no "woman" when he groomed her and pursued her. It was his job to uphold his vows. Do you always blame the other woman when the husband chooses to cheat?

I don’t blame just the man. Are you an other woman?

Again, she was 17 and he was 47 and married. If she were in her 40s and his contemporary and knew he was married, I'd be saying something different. But he went after a child while he was married. He is scum and the fact that you blame them both equally means you are too.

NP here. Stop the BS. She was happily married for 45 years. More than what you and many moral warriors here would ever achieve. Who cares how their relationship started when they had a f*ing 45 year happy life.
You are jealous because your "perfect marriage" turned out to be a nightmare and didn't last.

Are you joking??? Would you say the same thing if she was 12 and he was 42?? Who cares! They ended up happy! It doesnt matter he was a pedophile and groomed his child bride!

Wtf is wrong with people

Nobody said that it would be the same thing if she was 12. There is a huge difference between 12 and 17.
They got legally married because 17 was a legal age to get married. They didn't break any law.
12 was not a legal age to get married. You are comparing apple and oranges.

The person said "who cares how their relationship started when they had a 45 year happy life"

This person thinks it doesnt matter what ages or circumstances lead to marriage, as long as they stayed together

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are being totally unfair and dishonest by judging something that happened half a century ago with your 2024 norms.

Times change and norms evolve with it.

My grandparents grew up in a time when it was normal for women to get married between 15-20. Do you know what was considered gross back then? A 25 year-old woman who wasn't married and had no kids. Today this is considered the norm.

Legal age was much lower back in those days. Children were considered mature much earlier. My grandfather left home when he was 16 and already had a full-time job. He was no longer considered a child. He got married when he was 18.

Today a 20 year old is still treated like a baby.

What you are considering good and normal today may be considered gross and abnormal by our grandchildren 100 years from now.

I think everyone involved would admit it was kind of creepy, the discussion is HOW creepy. It’s definitely not a case of peasants who marry young to make the farm more productive or colonialists recognizing that 47 would be considered extreme old age.

If the discussion is about how creepy it was, let me tell you that it wasn't as creepy when it happened 50 years ago as it is today.
People weren't seeing it as creepy as you are seeing it today. That's the point.
Stop judging past events using today's norms.

Perhaps. Although I don’t agree with you that kids were more mature or somehow able to consent at an earlier age. We’ve grown a lot and realized the errors of our ways from the past. So it’s not wrong to judge these situations as a teaching moment.

It's not about agreeing with me. It's about agreeing with the facts.
In Virginia where I live, the law was changed in 2016 to set the sets the minimum marriage age at 18, or 16 if a child is emancipated by court order. Prior to that, the legal marriage was 16, and 16 yo or younger could get married with parental consent or if the girl was pregnant.
In 2024, a new law was signed to set the minimum marriage age at 18 with no exceptions.
https://msmagazine.com/2024/04/15/virginia-child-marriage/

Laws reflect what the society considers normal and acceptable. The low age limits in these laws are a reflection of what the society was considering normal at the time.

And while we in the US consider that 18 is an acceptable age to get married, many other countries consider that this is too low and have their limit set at 21. They view us as predators with predatory laws.

And if or when our children or grandchildren change the laws in 100 years to increase the limit to 21 or 22, they will call you monsters for allowing 20 years old to get married.

In the year that this 47 year old pursued the 17 year old in the state of California, the age of consent was (and still is) 18. It was 18 in the early 1900s. So he was violating the law.

You either totally confused or your spreading lies on purpose.

https://www.findlaw.com/state/california-law/california-marriage-age-requirements-laws.html
There is no minimum age to get married in California, as long as a parent or guardian consent and a court gives permission. California is among just seven states, including New Mexico and Oklahoma, that does not have a minimum age for marriage.

While you are right about the age of sexual consent being 18 in California. It doesn't apply if they are married.

He could legally married her at 17 with parental consent and have sex with her legally.
No law was broken here.
You may not like it, but that's the law. If you don't like the law, then change it.

[Anonymous]

It sounded to me like she needed money and saw a solution because she also thought she was in love, which to a 17 year old probably made sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

I'm so glad that #metoo happened. Exposes people like you and makes sure that your behavior is checked and not normalized.

Step off your high horse. I’d have more sympathy for this woman if she hadn’t insisted that her paramour leave his wife.

She was no "woman" when he groomed her and pursued her. It was his job to uphold his vows. Do you always blame the other woman when the husband chooses to cheat?

I don’t blame just the man. Are you an other woman?

Again, she was 17 and he was 47 and married. If she were in her 40s and his contemporary and knew he was married, I'd be saying something different. But he went after a child while he was married. He is scum and the fact that you blame them both equally means you are too.

NP here. Stop the BS. She was happily married for 45 years. More than what you and many moral warriors here would ever achieve. Who cares how their relationship started when they had a f*ing 45 year happy life.
You are jealous because your "perfect marriage" turned out to be a nightmare and didn't last.

Are you joking??? Would you say the same thing if she was 12 and he was 42?? Who cares! They ended up happy! It doesnt matter he was a pedophile and groomed his child bride!

Wtf is wrong with people

Nobody said that it would be the same thing if she was 12. There is a huge difference between 12 and 17.
They got legally married because 17 was a legal age to get married. They didn't break any law.
12 was not a legal age to get married. You are comparing apple and oranges.

The person said "who cares how their relationship started when they had a 45 year happy life"

This person thinks it doesnt matter what ages or circumstances lead to marriage, as long as they stayed together

...And are happy.
Yes, who cares if in the end you are happy and not hurting anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

I'm so glad that #metoo happened. Exposes people like you and makes sure that your behavior is checked and not normalized.

Step off your high horse. I’d have more sympathy for this woman if she hadn’t insisted that her paramour leave his wife.

She was no "woman" when he groomed her and pursued her. It was his job to uphold his vows. Do you always blame the other woman when the husband chooses to cheat?

I don’t blame just the man. Are you an other woman?

Again, she was 17 and he was 47 and married. If she were in her 40s and his contemporary and knew he was married, I'd be saying something different. But he went after a child while he was married. He is scum and the fact that you blame them both equally means you are too.

NP here. Stop the BS. She was happily married for 45 years. More than what you and many moral warriors here would ever achieve. Who cares how their relationship started when they had a f*ing 45 year happy life.
You are jealous because your "perfect marriage" turned out to be a nightmare and didn't last.

Are you joking??? Would you say the same thing if she was 12 and he was 42?? Who cares! They ended up happy! It doesnt matter he was a pedophile and groomed his child bride!

Wtf is wrong with people

Nobody said that it would be the same thing if she was 12. There is a huge difference between 12 and 17.
They got legally married because 17 was a legal age to get married. They didn't break any law.
12 was not a legal age to get married. You are comparing apple and oranges.

The person said "who cares how their relationship started when they had a 45 year happy life"

This person thinks it doesnt matter what ages or circumstances lead to marriage, as long as they stayed together

...And are happy.
Yes, who cares if in the end you are happy and not hurting anyone.

His kids! And his bride once she matures and realized what actually happened!!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's great, but I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation. There are people (men and women) who are wonderful at age 18—they're sexually adults and completely capable of being intelligent, thoughtful, charming people.

Okay, so I can't think of any 17 or 18yo that I can stand to spend more than 3 minutes with, but her kvetching about this, especially because they apparently were married for decades long after she was inappropriately young, makes this feel more like an attention grab than a serious concern.

I'd almost believe you if he was 17 or 18 himself. But a 47 year old man who pursues a 17 year old girl will always be a predator in my mind. What could they possibly have in common?

She sounds like an incredibly unappealing person in general, so I can't answer that. But they did stay married for a long time, so clearly there was something else going on besides an interest in 17yos.

Totally irrelevant and a matter of your opinion. She was still 17 and he was 47. Just because you marry your victim doesn't make it right.

Same goes for Celene Dion and Rene. She was 12 when she met him nad he was 38 and married, but they supposedly waited until she was of age to start dating. They were also married for a long time. It doesn't make him any less of a predator. Just sick stuff.

Also, the PP asked what they could possibly have in common and I replied that I couldn't answer that. So, not sure what you're so worked up about.

That you're treating this relationship like no big deal and trying to normalize this kind of behavior from adult, middle aged, predatory men. I'll answer for you a great deal of certainty that a 17 year old girl and 47 year old man have VERY little in common. She barely started her life, has little education, no work experience, no relationship experience, and he has lived more than half his life. So please, spare me the "oh I don't know, it could be fine." It's not. It's just not. You wouldn't let your 17 year old daughter marry a 47 year old man so what are you driving at?

I wouldn't let my 17yo marry anyone. Would you?

Absolutely not. That is my point. But especially a 47 year old.

You've really lost me as to what your point is.

I know, dear. Just stay away from young girls.

Why would I go near young girls? Is this about Celine Dion?

You're a troll and probably a preditor yourself since you see nothing wrong with this.

Oh, I see lots wrong with it. I think it's downright weird. I just don't think it's as predatory as she's making it out to be.

You don't think a married 47 year old with children pursuing a 17 year old is predatory? JFC, how many watch lists are you on?

I literally said the opposite.

"I just don't think it's as predatory as she's making it out to be"
How is that the opposite? Of course it's predatory.

Yes that’s what I said. It’s predatory.

If you thought it was predatory, you would have said it was predatory. That's not what you said. Stop trying to back peddle now that pps called you out on your disgusting approval of this relationship.

I did say it was predatory.

Where?

"I just don't think it's as predatory as she's making it out to be"

You aren't saying it's predatory, you are saying that it isn't. Because you think 47 year old men are totes fine pursuing 17 year olds. Disgusting.

I don’t know what to tell you. The words I wrote are that it’s predatory and I believe that. We can’t continue the conversation if you keep trying to say I wrote something else.

You do not say it's predatory, you say you don't believe it is. Wtf is wrong with you, you know we can read, right?

"I also think it's entirely possible it wasn't a predator situation"

Yes, it was a predator situation. No, you did not say that you think it is. You keep trying to back track, but youve written multiple times that you don't believe she is a victim, you don't believe this was predatory, and you are defending a predator and groomer in the process. If you meant to say "It's predatory and gross", you should choose different words next time.

I said I didn't think it was AS predatory, but I said it was predatory. And then I said it again, and again, and again. JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being totally unfair and dishonest by judging something that happened half a century ago with your 2024 norms.

Times change and norms evolve with it.

My grandparents grew up in a time when it was normal for women to get married between 15-20. Do you know what was considered gross back then? A 25 year-old woman who wasn't married and had no kids. Today this is considered the norm.

Legal age was much lower back in those days. Children were considered mature much earlier. My grandfather left home when he was 16 and already had a full-time job. He was no longer considered a child. He got married when he was 18.

Today a 20 year old is still treated like a baby.

What you are considering good and normal today may be considered gross and abnormal by our grandchildren 100 years from now.

Fine, but this was the 1970s. We're not talking the 1800s. Many of us on this board were born in the 70s and still have young kids. It's bizarre to suggest child brides was somehow common in middle class America at the same time as Roe v wade and Title IX.

My 24yo mom was starting law school when this 17yo was dating a 47yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

Have sex with a 17 year old is statutory rape in a lot of states.

Sadly, it’s not.

Check legitimate resources. Most of those laws expire at 16. I think that’s too early, too, but laws haven’t caught up.

When I got married in Virginia in the 2000s, it was still legal to be married at 14 with parental permission. Horrifying.

One of my hs friends married a much older man at 14. She was so young and beautiful. We were all so sad for her. Her parents made her do it. He needed a green card. She eventually dropped out.

One of my friends recently shared with me that her mother “forced” her to marry a man who also needed a green card. she was 17, I was shocked. She’s divorced now and dating someone she loves.

I was such a rebellious teen I can’t imagine that i’d have easily gone along with such plans but also I’m fairly certain my dad would have buried alive, after knocking him out with a baseball bat, any old man who expressed such an interest in me at either of those ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thx for posting. Interesting.

Nothing on NPR is interesting anymore; it’s so boring and predictable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you look at alot of these older relationships (our grandparents, etc) and it's really disgusting. So many "Ohhh they loved each other so much and were married for a million years" but he met her at 13 when he was 30 or something nasty. So gross.

That was my grandparents. She was a teenager and he was older and a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that she’s revising her story so much

Agreed! I think the whole thing is bullshit. She saw an opportunity to cash in on MeToo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being totally unfair and dishonest by judging something that happened half a century ago with your 2024 norms.

Times change and norms evolve with it.

My grandparents grew up in a time when it was normal for women to get married between 15-20. Do you know what was considered gross back then? A 25 year-old woman who wasn't married and had no kids. Today this is considered the norm.

Legal age was much lower back in those days. Children were considered mature much earlier. My grandfather left home when he was 16 and already had a full-time job. He was no longer considered a child. He got married when he was 18.

Today a 20 year old is still treated like a baby.

What you are considering good and normal today may be considered gross and abnormal by our grandchildren 100 years from now.

Fine, but this was the 1970s. We're not talking the 1800s. Many of us on this board were born in the 70s and still have young kids. It's bizarre to suggest child brides was somehow common in middle class America at the same time as Roe v wade and Title IX.

My 24yo mom was starting law school when this 17yo was dating a 47yo.

I was born in the early 70s and had an aunt who married at 15, and a cousin who was pregnant and married at 14. Unfortunately, child brides were common in my lower middle class upbringing, especially if they got pregnant, even in the 1970s.

[Anonymous]

It feels really icky that this was posted under "Relationship Discussions".

This was NO relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone blaming the man? This woman was also a willing participant until she decided to rewrite history.

She was a minor and he was 47. It's not rocket science.

She was 17, not 7.

Have sex with a 17 year old is statutory rape in a lot of states.

Sadly, it’s not.

Check legitimate resources. Most of those laws expire at 16. I think that’s too early, too, but laws haven’t caught up.

When I got married in Virginia in the 2000s, it was still legal to be married at 14 with parental permission. Horrifying.

One of my hs friends married a much older man at 14. She was so young and beautiful. We were all so sad for her. Her parents made her do it. He needed a green card. She eventually dropped out.

One of my friends recently shared with me that her mother “forced” her to marry a man who also needed a green card. she was 17, I was shocked. She’s divorced now and dating someone she loves.

I was such a rebellious teen I can’t imagine that i’d have easily gone along with such plans but also I’m fairly certain my dad would have buried alive, after knocking him out with a baseball bat, any old man who expressed such an interest in me at either of those ages.

I doubt what u posted is true