How upset would you be if husband went to a strip club and didn’t disclose it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larry Flynt’s Hustlers club in Vegas if that matters. I found out from a text asking if it was a fraudulent charge. Husband said he was drunk and doesn’t remember and doesn’t think he did anything inappropriate.
We have discussed strip clubs in the past and he said “it wasn’t his thing”. I’m not 100% opposed but overall not very open to married men going, and feel it absolutely should have been discusssed first.
Husband also travels often for work (will be gone months next year) which is now a problem trust wise.
Is this a forgivable offense? Marriage breaker?

This is a marriage breaker. You can’t trust a man who goes to strip clubs.
You should divorce. Why did you marry such a freak in the first place? Make better choices next time.

[Anonymous]

The problem is the (likely) lie about the not remembering, more so than the going, although both are problematic in my mind. To the person who claimed "it's a thing," I'd say not to men who don't objectify women, and not to married men who want to stay married in 2024.

Agree about trust issues for someone traveling for months. My suggestion is counseling for you individually to help you process this, and possibly for both of you. But start with just yourself to decide if/how you want to handle this, and if you want to continue being married to this guy

[Anonymous]

This used to be an issue in the early years of my relationship with DH. He and his friends would go whenever they were out of town or if we (wives) were away. We went one time together with a group from college and I decided that it was not for me.

It just always felt like light cheating and a slippery slope to more than that if they’re willing to be separated from our money. Porn is one thing, in person contact is another.

I don’t think my opinion ever actually stopped him from going, and we had some post-trip big dramatic fights over it. But as we all rolled into our 30s and started becoming parents, they all stopped going. The last time I remember DH going he said he felt like a dirty old man.

I too suspect your DH is lying about his choice to go to the club, and I think the who he was with and how they ended up there matter. My DH is in an industry where going to strip clubs with co-workers might get them all fired, but I’m sure he was in strip clubs in Vegas with friends in his 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Husband said he was drunk and doesn’t remember and doesn’t think he did anything inappropriate.

That is serious, to me. I’d want husband to immediately go to counseling with me and trial separation.

[Anonymous]

It would upset me and I'd likely view the marriage going forward as temporary. I wouldn't want to grow old with him any longer. I know other people accept it and that's fine for them.

[Anonymous]

I think the bigger problem is that he lied about it. Lied by hiding it, I mean. And that he gets so drunk that he can’t remember things.

[Anonymous]

Seeing your reaction, I would have lied too. What are you doing in with his credit card statements?
Usually men control women like that, now we are the same.

[Anonymous]

Did you know that men who visit strip clubs are also into prostitutes? Run…

[Anonymous]

If he went with friends I would be slightly upset. If he went by himself, I would reconsider the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you scared of

Not trusting him again.

That isn’t an answer. What does trust have to do with this? So you mean you fear he won’t follow your edicts?

Who cares about a strip club? It’s not like those women want him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you scared of

Not trusting him again.

Then you have bigger issues that go beyond him staring at a naked vagina and having titties shaking in his face.

So if it’s NBD, why hide it?

Maybe he thought you might react badly.

[Anonymous]

“He doesn’t think he did anything”. Major red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This used to be an issue in the early years of my relationship with DH. He and his friends would go whenever they were out of town or if we (wives) were away. We went one time together with a group from college and I decided that it was not for me.

It just always felt like light cheating and a slippery slope to more than that if they’re willing to be separated from our money. Porn is one thing, in person contact is another.

I don’t think my opinion ever actually stopped him from going, and we had some post-trip big dramatic fights over it. But as we all rolled into our 30s and started becoming parents, they all stopped going. The last time I remember DH going he said he felt like a dirty old man.

I too suspect your DH is lying about his choice to go to the club, and I think the who he was with and how they ended up there matter. My DH is in an industry where going to strip clubs with co-workers might get them all fired, but I’m sure he was in strip clubs in Vegas with friends in his 20s.

It's also depressing as crap. A bunch of lonely guys leaning against the wall, drinking and watching women they will never be with. In fact, I'm depressed just writing this.

[Anonymous]

He’ll definitely pay in cash next time. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Some strippers look really hot. But some of them are young and have not had kids yet. You should think about your wife self esteem if you decide to frequent such establishments brother. She probably doesn't like the way she looks currently and you are over there grinding on some bubble butt c'mon