Learned girlfriend cheated early in the relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I would get over this. You'd only been dating 6 weeks! I've been married 20 years and same thing happened, but I didn't think of us as exclusive yet, because it was early dating phase. We just don't ask each other about that period.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I would get over this. You'd only been dating 6 weeks! I've been married 20 years and same thing happened, but I didn't think of us as exclusive yet, because it was early dating phase. We just don't ask each other about that period.

Totally agree with this. If you’re happy together and you’ve never had other major issues, you really shouldn’t let this ruin things for you.

But you have to be capable of truly letting it go and not holding it over her (or ruminating on it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is trouble. Don’t commit because she certainly can’t. You might be seen as a simp you stand by her side.

PP Honestly this is wrong. She has been with op for two years! I'm assuming she didn't get on the text and say come on over? How was she supposed to know that you would date longer than two months. If you are the type to lord it over on her than it might be better for her that you break up

[Anonymous]

Ask him to tag up for a three way

[Anonymous]

OP you sound possessive and naive. You weren’t together exclusively. Get over ir

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my partner for 26 years, a few years ago we had discussion about the last person we kissed and upon telling each other we both came to the realization that we were both guilty of cheating on the exact same weekend, we had a huge laugh about it. We have known each other since we were 14 and did not have the typical dating/moving in together/marriage trajectory, we went from being friends who slept together one weekend to moving in together a month later; the cheating happened somewhere between our first time together and moving in but neither of us had really acknowledged the serious of the steps we were taking so we didn’t really think we were in a committed relationship.

I realize this hurts now, if you think you will always feel one upped by her you may need to end this but I would give it some time.

[Anonymous]

It was at the beginning. She didn't love you then. She did not lie when she said she was not seeing anyone. Had he been any good, she would have gone back.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem she has something to hide since she asked you to look at her phone.

[Anonymous]

She's lied to you multiple times.


It's up to you if you want to continue.


You could go on to be together happily for 20 + years, and you'll be glad you let this go.


Or this could be the moment you wish you had ended things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trouble. Don’t commit because she certainly can’t. You might be seen as a simp you stand by her side.

PP Honestly this is wrong. She has been with op for two years! I'm assuming she didn't get on the text and say come on over? How was she supposed to know that you would date longer than two months. If you are the type to lord it over on her than it might be better for her that you break up

She's been with him 2 years, but she's told multiple lies, hoping OP wouldn't find out. LEt's be real if OP were a woman you'd tell her to move on.

[Anonymous]

If the relationship is truly a good one for the past 2 years, this event 6 weeks in is nothing. OP bad behaviors are patterns, not one-offs. If you’re that uncomfortable, hold on the engagement and talk it through. But reflexively jettisoning an otherwise great partner seems foolish.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be able to get over something like this but that’s me (female).

[Anonymous]

I’d ask her what she would do if she had found out that you had slept with someone else early in your relationship. If she says it wouldn’t have really bothered her because you weren’t exclusive, either she’s lying or she’s pretty accepting of screwing around. If she said she would have been very upset now you have something to discuss. I wouldn’t give up on her just yet but I hope you have the receipt for the ring just in case.

[Anonymous]

the timeline doesn't make sense so either OP or Gf is lying.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand your concerns and you should talk it through with your partner but unless there is more to it, this is not something that needs to upend your chances at a life together. Something similar happened early on in a relationship among my friend group -- they worked through it and have now been faithfully married 22 years. Six weeks in is very early and people don't always appreciate how susceptible they are to feelings leftover from very recent relationships. If in your heart, you see your gf as family, and you can find it in your heart to forgive, I would hold on to your hopes for happiness.