Crash a wedding?

[Anonymous]

You get divorced. You stay way from this family. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Of course not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

They aren't devout Catholics if she's getting married at the courthouse. That doesn't count as a marriage to Catholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.

It is a dumb courthouse wedding, not a real wedding. And they aren’t as devout as you seem to think if SIL is not getting married in church by a priest.

Why would you even want to do this? I would be so thrilled not to have to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL is getting married, she invited my spouse (her sibling) but not me. I found out by accident, spouse is hiding this from me. Its a small courthouse ceremony with half a dozen people. SIL was my bridesmaid 10 years ago, but there have been beefs since. My spouse claims he wants harmony between everybody, but is a people pleaser when it comes to family of origin. He doesnt know that i know. Do I crash the wedding?

SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL is getting married, she invited my spouse (her sibling) but not me. I found out by accident, spouse is hiding this from me. Its a small courthouse ceremony with half a dozen people. SIL was my bridesmaid 10 years ago, but there have been beefs since. My spouse claims he wants harmony between everybody, but is a people pleaser when it comes to family of origin. He doesnt know that i know. Do I crash the wedding?

No and it's silly to assume this has to do with a beef. Court house weddings have limits on guests so they likely cut spouses and long term partners of siblings. Montgomery County MD has a maximum capacity of 10. What are you going to do? Check counties and see those capacities.

She could have invited you to the courthouse but not the courtroom- this was the situation for my brothers wedding, we waited outside in the hall, then had a nice dinner with the couple and some additional family members that were not invited to the ceremony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.

It is a dumb courthouse wedding, not a real wedding. And they aren’t as devout as you seem to think if SIL is not getting married in church by a priest.

Why would you even want to do this? I would be so thrilled not to have to attend.

A courthouse wedding isn't dumb. It's actually legal and in many places your actual wedding.
I had to go to the courthouse and get married before i had a ceremony in the country I married in. Most people spend too much time focused on a party as opposed to a relationship.

If it were an actual wedding including a reception I would say you invite both spouses. Something small and intimate it's okay to have just people who are important to the couple. Op, you don't seem supportive or important to the couple so why would you even want to go?

[Anonymous]

who wants to go to a six person courthouse wedding anyway?

[Anonymous]

Troll.

6 people at wedding. You are not welcome

Poor husband had to hide from you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

OMG. You are not invited! She does not want YOU there. Why do you want to be where you are not wanted. Be gracious.

If I were you - I would tell DH I know about the invite and I am hurt. I would tell hem I wanted to go for family unity and I don't understand why I wasn't invited. Then the ball is in his court. He needs to smooth this over with his family. If you are all devout catholics, as you say, then YOU should be his priority. If you are not his priority, there is a problem in your marriage. But honestly, you sound like the sort of person who creates waves and drama. I would never invite extra drama, so this wouldn't happen to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.

+1
She probably doesn't want the added stress at her wedding. Give her the gift of your absence.

[Anonymous]

Is there a particular reason you want to be at her wedding? Is your intent really to stand there and wish them the best life together? Or is it just the fear of missing out? The fact that you are even considering showing up to a tiny wedding without an invite means you shouldn't go.

And I agree with others that this isn't a Catholic thing if they're getting married in a courthouse. They may have a formal church wedding in the future and maybe you'll be invited to that one, but only if you don't crash this one.

[Anonymous]

Don’t crash it and quit making it about you. There’s probably limited space and you don’t get along. I would send a gift or a nice card and be thankful you don’t have to go.

For a big wedding it would be rude not to invite you, but that’s not the case. Support your husband having a strong relationship with his sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

Don't do that. You aren't invited. Do not go.

This.

OP, seek therapy and learn emotional regulation and how to respect boundaries. It will be of huge benefit. That you are even considering this makes me wonder how much of a drama llama you are. Sucks to have someone like you as a mom. Get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.

It is a dumb courthouse wedding, not a real wedding. And they aren’t as devout as you seem to think if SIL is not getting married in church by a priest.

Why would you even want to do this? I would be so thrilled not to have to attend.

A courthouse wedding isn't dumb. It's actually legal and in many places your actual wedding.
I had to go to the courthouse and get married before i had a ceremony in the country I married in. Most people spend too much time focused on a party as opposed to a relationship.

If it were an actual wedding including a reception I would say you invite both spouses. Something small and intimate it's okay to have just people who are important to the couple. Op, you don't seem supportive or important to the couple so why would you even want to go?

It isn't dumb to be married in a courthouse and the marriage is certainly legal. But it isn't a FUN event/party, it's a legal formality. It's dumb to get your nose out of joint because you aren't invited to watch someone you don't even like sign some paperwork.