Crash a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL is getting married, she invited my spouse (her sibling) but not me. I found out by accident, spouse is hiding this from me. Its a small courthouse ceremony with half a dozen people. SIL was my bridesmaid 10 years ago, but there have been beefs since. My spouse claims he wants harmony between everybody, but is a people pleaser when it comes to family of origin. He doesnt know that i know. Do I crash the wedding?

Why would you want to go? I would never want to go to a wedding where I wasn't wanted.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you're rules-lawyering about etiquette and religion rather than addressing the actual problems in the relationship tells me that you're the problem and that's why you weren't invited.

Being Catholic doesn't mean you have to ruin your wedding by inviting an awful in-law who treats you badly and makes scenes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.

+1
She probably doesn't want the added stress at her wedding. Give her the gift of your absence.

A thousand times this.

[Anonymous]

You don't crash the wedding
You are not that ugly, I hope
Graciously encourage your DH to play his part
as he's been told
It's an intimate, tiny wedding. It is not your place to judge.

[Anonymous]

What the hell? No, you do not crash it. If only 6 people are invited, it is immediate family only.

[Anonymous]

no, you do no not crash the wedding. the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a husband problem, not a SIL problem. That husband didn't tell you is the problem, not that he's invited and not you, not that SIL invited him and not you.

I don't know, if there have been multiple "beefs" with his sister since they got married, and OP's reaction is to try to "crash a wedding" - sounds like he has a wife problem.

[Anonymous]

No, never ever crash a wedding. It's the most selfish thing. Anyway, have you been to courthouse ceremony? It's literally the bare minimum of people. No one else will even fit. When my husband and I did, we went by ourselves, and I think the other couples there were either alone or with just 3 or 4 people. You're being too sensitive - this is not the kind of event where an invitation is to be expected. Even for immediate family.

[Anonymous]

OF COURSE NOT. Why does anyone think it’s okay to crash this wedding. It’s *their* wedding and they want a small one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

They’re not devout if it’s a courthouse wedding. Either way, don’t go. Attending when uninvited is the height of narcissism.

[Anonymous]

No devout Catholic has a courthouse wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.

OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.

OMG. You are not invited! She does not want YOU there. Why do you want to be where you are not wanted. Be gracious.

If I were you - I would tell DH I know about the invite and I am hurt. I would tell hem I wanted to go for family unity and I don't understand why I wasn't invited. Then the ball is in his court. He needs to smooth this over with his family. If you are all devout catholics, as you say, then YOU should be his priority. If you are not his priority, there is a problem in your marriage. But honestly, you sound like the sort of person who creates waves and drama. I would never invite extra drama, so this wouldn't happen to me.

Maybe devout Catholic husband realizes wife is the problem, so he’s adhering to sister’s wishes for HER day. Nowhere does the Catholic Church say you should aid and abet a poorly behaving spouse.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, what did you do?

[Anonymous]

Meaning, what did you do to his sister that she hates you this much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a husband problem, not a SIL problem. That husband didn't tell you is the problem, not that he's invited and not you, not that SIL invited him and not you.

I don't know, if there have been multiple "beefs" with his sister since they got married, and OP's reaction is to try to "crash a wedding" - sounds like he has a wife problem.

Ding, ding, ding!! This right here. It's obvious from her OP that she's the one who did SIL wrong.