Kid treated my boyfriend like crap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

If you spent an hour at the playground, how did your kid make fun of him all night?

Your kid either just doesn't like this guy, or figured out you were dating and was annoyed. Or protective of his father (you don't say if you're divorced or how his father is involved).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

He isn't a friend and you need to be honest with your child. You also need to discipline your child and when it didn't work, take him home and send him to his room and give a consequence.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the playground was a horrible choice for the first meeting. You wanted your boyfriend to play with your 7 year old on playground equipment? My 7 year old would be weirded out by someone he doesn't know running around the playground with him. Maybe a toddler sure, but a 7 year old? This was setting them up for failure.

[Anonymous]

Where is his dad? If he saw this guy as competition re: his dad or for your attention on him, negative attention is still attention on him from you. He does not want you dating, it's probably not this guy. Does the guy have kids? Maybe see how it plays out over time.

[Anonymous]

Start with the concept that your kid is WAY more important in every way than your boyfriend. Approach from there. Think about what the kid said about the guy, is it true? Think about why the kid said it, you know him well, you should be able to figure it out. Ultimately whatever you do, don't forget, the kid is WAY WAY more important than the BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In front of you?

My boyfriends teenage sons are fairly polite and civil to me in front of him.

They are much less nice to me when he is around.

Which feels very….manipulative.

I haven’t decided yet if it’s a deal breaker

Oh big typo sorry

They are much LESS nice to me when he IS T around. Curt one word answer, unpleasant facial expressions. Nothing solid I can report to my boyfriend but just a very unfriendly vibe.

I did not meet my boyfriend until two years after the divorce so no I am not the AP

Why do you even need to be around them when your boyfriend isn’t there? They are allowed to not like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

If you spent an hour at the playground, how did your kid make fun of him all night?

Your kid either just doesn't like this guy, or figured out you were dating and was annoyed. Or protective of his father (you don't say if you're divorced or how his father is involved).

OP most of us are not understanding the context. What did the 7yo say, in what context, how did you react? Was this just an hour at the playground or something very extended ("all night")?

How does your kid usually do with adults / new people? How did your BF react?

[Anonymous]

I agree we need more details. Also it sounds like you sprung this on him and also lied about it. Maybe he thought a new friend was another kid? Did your bf touch you or kiss you right away? Kids are more intuitive than you think.

Don't punish your kid until you talk to him about how he feels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

He isn't a friend and you need to be honest with your child. You also need to discipline your child and when it didn't work, take him home and send him to his room and give a consequence.

Terrible, borderline psychotic, advice. Holy shit this is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge parents by the way their children treat new acquaintances and behave in public. Your son's behavior is a reflection of your parenting.

Lol. Then you have no idea what you’re doing. Good luck in life. You’re sure to make tons of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

This was a terrible way to handle it as others have said.

Candidly, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you seem to prioritize your love life over your son. 7 year olds aren’t idiots and you treated him like an idiot with this “friend” charade.

Next time maybe tell your son you want him to meet someone that is special to you, he needs to be respectful and kind - and go to brunch or something. A playground? You basically invaded your sons space with your sexual relationship. Go somewhere neutral if you’re going to disclose that for 2 years you’ve been getting plowed by someone who’s not his dad and BTW because now you’re taking this big step, this kid is about to have a new daddy that he seems to have equal say in as his original dad.

Why are you even doing this though? It doesn’t seem like you have a good grasp of this stuff if you’re trying to set up some weird rom-com scenario at the playground. Your relationship with your child is a priority and the undertones from your posts are you’re concerned about losing this guy not that you f’ed things up with your son.

[Anonymous]

You are not being at all clear, so we can’t really offer significant advice.

Please give examples. In what way did your kid “make fun of” your boyfriend? It also sounds like part of the issue is your boyfriend’s reaction, which you have omitted.

I’m sorry, I get frustrated by vague posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

He isn't a friend and you need to be honest with your child. You also need to discipline your child and when it didn't work, take him home and send him to his room and give a consequence.

Terrible, borderline psychotic, advice. Holy shit this is disturbing.

You’re kidding, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

So you were untruthful, or at least lied by omission?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating?
How did you talk about this with your son prior to the meeting?

We’ve been dating for almost two years. I told him that a friend would like come with us to the playground and asked if he was up for it. He said yes. We spent about an hour at the playground and it was a complete disaster!

He isn't a friend and you need to be honest with your child. You also need to discipline your child and when it didn't work, take him home and send him to his room and give a consequence.

Terrible, borderline psychotic, advice. Holy shit this is disturbing.

You’re kidding, right?

No, a 7 year old acted out because his mom lied to him and put him in an insanely weird position. To then punish him on top of all this is incredibly disturbing. This mother is already making it all about her and her need to have a love life. Punishing the kid is only further alienating him.