Unpopular truth: If you don't maintain your value, your successful DH will move on

[Anonymous]

Unpopular truth: If you marry a very shallow, vain and superficial man you should develop your Plan B right from the start because if any normal issues come up he's likely to drop you like a hot potato. Protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

The spark died in A YEAR and he’s filing for divorce? With minor children? I’ll take Things That Did Not Happen for $1,000, Alex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

The spark died in A YEAR and he’s filing for divorce? With minor children? I’ll take Things That Did Not Happen for $1,000, Alex.

For the last year. Since her dad died.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a DH trying to warn women or something. This does not read as an authentic post from a supposed friend. So, no advice for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a selfish jerk who didn't support his wife through a tough time. She's better off without this "low-value" man.

+1000

She would also be better off not having OP as a "friend" -- I ditch people like that who are always giving me gross advice based on their own messed up value system, and who sit around judging people for simply having feelings or wanting support.

OP can f**k all the way off. She's probably hoping to upgrade to her "friend's" STBX now that friend is out of the picture. Toxic af.

[Anonymous]

My father is a retired big law partner, and when my moms parents, who lived nearby, were dying, he was there with her, and my grandparents, who loved him, as much as he could be. Your friends husband sounds like a d*ck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

The spark died in A YEAR and he’s filing for divorce? With minor children? I’ll take Things That Did Not Happen for $1,000, Alex.

For the last year. Since her dad died.

This doesn’t make the story any less fantastical. OP is bored and making up imaginary women to scold.

“Go along with telling everyone it’s mutual”? Lol! Obvious incel is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular truth: If you marry a very shallow, vain and superficial man you should develop your Plan B right from the start because if any normal issues come up he's likely to drop you like a hot potato. Protect yourself.

True and same for men. There is an equal percentage of similarly shallow women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

The spark died in A YEAR and he’s filing for divorce? With minor children? I’ll take Things That Did Not Happen for $1,000, Alex.

For the last year. Since her dad died.

This doesn’t make the story any less fantastical. OP is bored and making up imaginary women to scold.

“Go along with telling everyone it’s mutual”? Lol! Obvious incel is obvious.

So true. Also just the inherent weirdness in arguing that any woman's "value" lies in her not having any emotional needs whatsoever. If you want a partner who never needs emotional support, just do what you probably want to do anyway and get a sex doll or hire a prostitute. You don't actually want to be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

The spark died in A YEAR and he’s filing for divorce? With minor children? I’ll take Things That Did Not Happen for $1,000, Alex.

For the last year. Since her dad died.

This doesn’t make the story any less fantastical. OP is bored and making up imaginary women to scold.

“Go along with telling everyone it’s mutual”? Lol! Obvious incel is obvious.

Possibly OP twisted story enough to keep it anonymous or made up a story to match her query. Either way, it's probably something is weighing on her mind and she/he/they wanted public opinion about it.

[Anonymous]

or OP is a therapist who wants more women to seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP is either the new woman or the DH. Or a really sh!tty friend.

The wife/friend doesn’t need any of you. She needs a really good divorce atty. Best thing you can do is find her one and then leave her alone to find better friends.

[Anonymous]

The husband is a jerk. He cheated on his wife in her time in need. I don’t think this has anything to do with him being successful.

I have a few friends who had a parent pass. Many are wealthy or average. I can’t imagine these guys cheating and blaming that the wife should maintain her value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

You use the same gross phrase twice, OP.

In your world, "If you want to maintain your lifestyle" = "if you want to stay married to a rich guy who literally doesn't give a rat's behind about you."

My "lifestyle" includes being married to someone who cares about my emotional state and steps up when I need support. Our HHI is beside the point.

[Anonymous]

Troll score: 1/10, not even convincing.