Unpopular truth: If you don't maintain your value, your successful DH will move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man who marries his mistress creates a job vacancy OP. You can’t say you haven’t been shown the kind of man this dude is.

She’ll still have the house and the kids and the insurance if he’s as keen as you say on keeping up the idea it was mutual. Not to worry.

Nope. Selling the house next year. Custody is 50-50, though I imagine my friend will wind up more at 65-35 given his work conferences and other obligations. He most certainly can drop her from his insurance and make her get Obamacare or whatever dinky insurance her eventual employer provides.

^^ Like this post makes sense if it is the OP DH sock puppeting that he’s gonna drop her from insurance and make her get dinky healthcare - for the mother of his own children. Blimey.

People are so messed up these days. For one, going on a moms' forum just to do this. How did all these men even get on here? And then to imitate someone else. And then to actually do this in real life or bring it up as a hypothetical? How did men get to this place?

Welcome to the 21st Century. Read the home page.

[Anonymous]

If you are getting divorced, then you have both kind of lost. One person doesn’t “move on” while the other is “left behind.”
Your marriage ended. Your family is torn apart. You will likely lose a lot of friends. It sucks all around.

[Anonymous]

The husband never thought that if his wife’s parent died she might need to lean on him? He sounds like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man who leaves his wife is never considered a high-value man by anyone. He is always a scumbag.

Especially if his reason for tossing his wife aside is because her parent died and he finds her grief annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man who marries his mistress creates a job vacancy OP. You can’t say you haven’t been shown the kind of man this dude is.

She’ll still have the house and the kids and the insurance if he’s as keen as you say on keeping up the idea it was mutual. Not to worry.

Nope. Selling the house next year. Custody is 50-50, though I imagine my friend will wind up more at 65-35 given his work conferences and other obligations. He most certainly can drop her from his insurance and make her get Obamacare or whatever dinky insurance her eventual employer provides.

^^ Like this post makes sense if it is the OP DH sock puppeting that he’s gonna drop her from insurance and make her get dinky healthcare - for the mother of his own children. Blimey.

People are so messed up these days. For one, going on a moms' forum just to do this. How did all these men even get on here? And then to imitate someone else. And then to actually do this in real life or bring it up as a hypothetical? How did men get to this place?

DC Urban Moms AND DADS.
Look at middle top of page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave shitty advice. No need to justify him being a DB.

As a spouse your spouses health and mental needs take priority over your career. When you get married or are in a committed long term relationship you make two commitments one to the person and one to the relationship.

+100 Seriously, WTF?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband was an absolute saint when my dad was going through his terminal illness, hospice, death. He was there for every minute, supporting my mom, taking over kid duties, visiting, clearing his schedule so I could be in the hospital, spend days at my parents' house. He went through the pain of telling my then 9 and 12-year old son's what was happening with grandpa. They were INCREDIBLY close to my dad and my dad was such a large presence--hilarious, caring, involved in their lives, at all of their sporting events, sleepovers at my parents', etc. They showed remarkable resilience and insisted on being there when my dad was dying, composing cards and letters and thanking him and that they wouldn't forget him.

My husband has a big job. He has long hours, etc.--yet he was there for all of it. He looked up to my dad since his own dad was a absent and a complete and total mess.

That experience in midlife really made me love my husband more. My mom was so thankful for his support too. She stayed with us many nights since we lived closer to the hospital when he was in ICU.

Any spouse that turns their back when a loved one's family member is sick/dying or when their own spouse is ill---is a real POS in my opinion.

Well stated.
Man here and I always had my wife as #1 priority when she was losing her Mom whom she was very close to. Family matters. Someone you love matters. Money and a job don't in comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got involved in supporting DH's business venture. I didn't believe in it at first (concept is selling t-shirts as t-shorts, sporty pants) but he says it's getting a lot of start-up investor interest. The launch date has gone from the 12th of Never to mid November, lol. Anyhoo becoming involved in the business has really elevated my appearance and all round confidence. I'm all round confident, but not all round. lol. Lost 4 lbs in the last 7 months. Thank me later.

Yes, working will do that. You should make sure you are getting paid on the books and listed as co-owner, not donating your labor.

PP, thank you for engaging with me. (Let's get engaged! lol.) But seriously I will bring those subjects up with DH. He says a lot investors are excited about t-shorts. It was my idea (eye-dia?) to call the head hole the cool breeze portal and apparently everyone DH pitches on it loves it. You put your legs through through the armholes and the portal keeps you cool, which in this weather, is not a bad thing lol.

Wait, so are these like PJ’s with a trap door, except there is no door?

Yes, it's basically just the headhole but with t-shorts we're calling it a cool-breeze portal. TIA

[Anonymous]

With friends like you, who needs enemies.

What is your goal here - to make sure she feels completely responsible for the divorce because she dared to be vulnerable with her partner & express her needs? To warn her that she should avoid doing so going forward so as to not lose her children & any face value in society, in addition to losing her successful DH & comfortable lifestyle? JFC

[Anonymous]

A DH who leaves his wife in a time of grief is not high value. And you are a terrible friend. She’s better off without both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that I know the real provenance of this story, I am rooting for "feeling" mom to live her best life after dropping this dead weight DH. So glad for her that she will be compensated for putting up with him all these years with a great alimony arrangement. Maybe that was her plan all along . . . why pretend to be a "fun loving" replacement mom who has to keep up a charade when you can keep the money but ditch the narcissist simply by having emotional needs? First wives for the win!

I feel a little sorry for the OW in this scenario who is going to have to WORK IT just to get half as good of a lifestyle as first wife got. But I assume she's going into this with eyes wide open. Only a fool would think he wouldn't do the same thing to you as he's doing WITH you.

The kids get the greatest share of my sympathies, but their father is a transactional, materialistic, self-absorbed person whether he's married to their mom or not. I hope they have a good family therapist lined up.

Re the bolded, don't worry, the kids are going to have so much fun with the step mom!

Hahahah yes nothing step kids love more than hanging out with the woman who wants to replace their mom and take all their dad's attention!

He's working a lot, so I guess when he has the kids, he will expect the step mom to step in. Basically, he wants a housekeeper, nanny and f*ck buddy. Sounds like a winner. /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got involved in supporting DH's business venture. I didn't believe in it at first (concept is selling t-shirts as t-shorts, sporty pants) but he says it's getting a lot of start-up investor interest. The launch date has gone from the 12th of Never to mid November, lol. Anyhoo becoming involved in the business has really elevated my appearance and all round confidence. I'm all round confident, but not all round. lol. Lost 4 lbs in the last 7 months. Thank me later.

Yes, working will do that. You should make sure you are getting paid on the books and listed as co-owner, not donating your labor.

PP, thank you for engaging with me. (Let's get engaged! lol.) But seriously I will bring those subjects up with DH. He says a lot investors are excited about t-shorts. It was my idea (eye-dia?) to call the head hole the cool breeze portal and apparently everyone DH pitches on it loves it. You put your legs through through the armholes and the portal keeps you cool, which in this weather, is not a bad thing lol.

Wait, so are these like PJ’s with a trap door, except there is no door?

Yes, it's basically just the headhole but with t-shorts we're calling it a cool-breeze portal. TIA

So where does one’s junk reside in the t shorts if there is a cool breeze portal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got involved in supporting DH's business venture. I didn't believe in it at first (concept is selling t-shirts as t-shorts, sporty pants) but he says it's getting a lot of start-up investor interest. The launch date has gone from the 12th of Never to mid November, lol. Anyhoo becoming involved in the business has really elevated my appearance and all round confidence. I'm all round confident, but not all round. lol. Lost 4 lbs in the last 7 months. Thank me later.

Yes, working will do that. You should make sure you are getting paid on the books and listed as co-owner, not donating your labor.

PP, thank you for engaging with me. (Let's get engaged! lol.) But seriously I will bring those subjects up with DH. He says a lot investors are excited about t-shorts. It was my idea (eye-dia?) to call the head hole the cool breeze portal and apparently everyone DH pitches on it loves it. You put your legs through through the armholes and the portal keeps you cool, which in this weather, is not a bad thing lol.

Wait, so are these like PJ’s with a trap door, except there is no door?

Yes, it's basically just the headhole but with t-shorts we're calling it a cool-breeze portal. TIA

So where does one’s junk reside in the t shorts if there is a cool breeze portal?

Research shows many consumers (GenZ!) are interested in less restrictions in that area. Someone came up with the tagline Kools Yer Jewelz but we are not going with that. lol

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for being a realist. When you bring home millions, you do not have time or mental bandwidth or desire to be an emotional support for someone. This is just a reality that your friend should have known/learned by being married to a person like this. Rich men think only about themselves with a very few exceptions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband just told her a few weeks ago that they're separating and divorcing. They had been in couples therapy for a few weeks but now he's done. She had been a drag the last year and the spark died. She's a "feeling" person so when her Dad passed away and she dealt with her Mom, she looked to her husband for support. I warned her that he's really successful and busy and for her lifestyle she has to figure out how to manage without burdening him. She said he had told her that he just didn't have the bandwidth for this, particularly as she has a therapist and meds plus plenty of time as a SAHM to deal with those things.

Unfortunately she didn't listen to me and he started looking around. Turns out the husband met someone else he feels is a better fit for his lifestyle, and if it proceeds would be a fun stepmom for their two boys. Now my friend is trying to grind through each day while DH has moved on. I really want to tell my friend that for her own good she shouldn't play the victim, don't go bashing him and go along with telling people that it was mutual. Take the high road. You can love your husband and love your kids, but ultimately you need to maintain your worth and not go draining people if you want to maintain your lifestyle. How do I explain that to her, give her the tough love, without just damaging her more?

Troll post


Don’t you have anything better to do, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you for being a realist. When you bring home millions, you do not have time or mental bandwidth or desire to be an emotional support for someone. This is just a reality that your friend should have known/learned by being married to a person like this. Rich men think only about themselves with a very few exceptions

Most women would consider a Rich man who even average looking a high value man...In the real world a high value man or woman has many options. Take car of your high value man or mate poaching will take place...just Darwinism.