In a dark place today: Life isn’t Fair
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Anonymous
| OP- it’s so incredibly painful and isolating. I had many many dark days as well. I got to the point where I was withdrawing from friends who had kids, skipped baby showers, but what helped was finding a friend who was going through the same process as me so we could cry together. Took my husband and I 5 long years but now I’m on the other side and will never forget what it took to get here. I am 100% a better parent because of that experience and will never take being a mother for granted. Stay strong and don’t give up, even though it’s so understandable that you might want to. |
Anonymous
Whoever wrote this is rude AF and if you’re trying to help, you’re not. Her feelings are valid and infertility is extremely unfair. Can’t believe someone went out of their way to kick someone when they are down. |
Anonymous
How many have you adopted? |
Anonymous
Who died and appointed you the judge of unfairness? |
Anonymous
There are lots of other ways to become a parent. |
Anonymous
Having been both a kid growing up on welfare who missed out on many events like prom because of the cost and an adult who struggled with infertility/miscarriages, the latter was by far the more painful/unfair feeling to me. But either way it’s not a competition and you suck pp. |
Anonymous
+1 NP It wouldn't hurt to go to an adoption information meeting |
Anonymous
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This thread is crazy!
First of all, OP hasn’t even tried IVF once yet, she clearly has good eggs and sperm to work with, and there is zero reason to think IVF won’t work! Talking about a child free life or adopting or anything else is just way way silly at this point. OP, IVF truly is not that bad! You’ll do it once or twice, perhaps even a third time, and you’ll have your baby or babies! Talk to people who have done IVF for years and years without success and then you’ll know what truly unfair looks and feels like. Perspective!! |
Anonymous
OP, good luck with IVF. And, don't listen to all the people on here pushing adoption unless they have already adopted. In Maryland, it's not even that easy to adopt from foster care, as the preferred result is family reunification. It is easier to adopt and foster older children. Sending you hugs OP; it's hard when it seems like everyone else can get pregnant easily. |
Anonymous
| Adding to say (as a person who had an ectopic and finally had a baby through IVF), I agree with that PP who noted that the fact that your egg and sperm make embryos is actually a good sign. In IVF, that’s half the battle (or maybe more than half the battle). Also, I’ve done a lot of IVF, and it’s not a bundle of fun, but physically, for me at least, it’s not that bad. The emotional aspect is harder, but actually doing IVF made me feel more in control than the endless months of TTC. Call an RE - I’d probably start with Shady Grove or CCRM if you are in the DMV - and take it one day at a time. I know it doesn’t feel this way, but in the IVF world, you are relatively young and I bet your chances of success are really good. Best of luck to you. |
Anonymous
There aren't that many kids that are adoptable. It took us a small fortune and 6 years to adopt. OP's heartache is real. Why don't you adopt? |
Anonymous
| I think 90% of my friends needed fertility treatments! It has such a high success rate. Just get that appointment and get going - you could be holding your baby an year from now! The success rate on IvF esp since you can get pregnant is so high!! |
Anonymous
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When we were looking at fertility treatments we also looked into adoption. IVF is easier, cheaper and more likely to end with a baby in your household. We looked at adopting from my home country but there are issues with child trafficking there and I did not want to contribute to the serious ethical problems caused by the international adoption industry.
OP, if you were able to conceive naturally, then your odds of IVF success are high. |
Anonymous
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It is unfair OP. One natural ectopic, doing IVF due to infertility. 37 and also envisioned having first child by 27. However did not meet my husband until 30 and married at 32 which was "too soon" for him to start trying.
Cannot wait for this chapter to be closed. For those jumping to adoption, no, no one who is doing fertility treatments has ever heard or considered it. We are all dumb as rocks. Most typical response I am over. |
Anonymous
Please stop communicating with people dealing with infertility |