are teenage boys particularly jerkish about girls these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those boys will grow up and realize the bikini girls are vapid and promoting nothing about themselves other than their looks.

And your girls will find boys who are less shallow eventually. They exist.

x1000000

[Anonymous]

I'm laughing because the "first girl with a bra/boobs" will always (well, until first year of college) be seen as the one to "get"/lay, but the boys won't realize there is nothing between the ears until they are older (second year of college, on). It is then too late for those girls who sprouted early - but the boys - they have time.......the girls, not so much.....

The boys are then men, and glad they dodged a bullet, but those girls - they are a bit stunted, shall we say, now and forever.

Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 16-17 year old g/b twins in NW DC/close-in Bethesda.
My kids have friends across public/private/Catholic.

My daughter has a tight group of friends (6) and none of them have ever dated. They find that the boys are only interested in a select type of girls.
My daughter and her friends are pretty, sporty, stylish, slim, smart. What they aren't are popular and they're not the types to post bikini shots on Instagram.

They receive next to no interest from boys. For some time this seemed awesome (who needs boys?) but now I find myself feeling a bit sad for them. It feels
(maybe I'm wrong) that girls have to really sell themselves these days to get the attention of ANY boys. All the boys are clamoring over the same circle of girls
(the popular 10 or so from each high school and they all know each other from Instagram) and the rest receive no attention. This transcends schools (these are boys from Catholic/public/private). My son and his friends are guilty of it as well which makes it worse. They turn up their noses (and basically lead on and then make fun of) other girls.
It's horrible and I've had long talks to him about it. Many long talks.

Anyone else notice this dynamic? It doesn't feel like it was this way when I was growing up. Boys were less picky and less a$$holish about girls.

Not all boys are a$sholes. I have 2 girls-a college sophomore and HS senior and a 13 year old boy. The college kid was the athletic, wear pjs to class, hair in a messy bun kid. She still dated in HS quite a bit (not that I wanted her to). My HS kid is the instagram kid but she isn't obsessed with boys. She dates as well.

I think your seeing this because you're in Bethesda/CC. It's a whole different world there. We moved out of the area last year and my younger kids are in private school now and the kids are a lot nicer with less entitlement even though a lot are extremely weatlhy. We lived in Bethesda and Arlington before we moved so I know what you're talking about.

Raise confident girls who don't care what boys think. I don't mean this in a snarky way and it's REALLY REALLY hard to do this in the current culture but that's the best you can do. I'm hoping to teach my son to not be an a$shole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those boys will grow up and realize the bikini girls are vapid and promoting nothing about themselves other than their looks.

And your girls will find boys who are less shallow eventually. They exist.

The girls could find them now. Half the boys in our school didn't have a date to the prom. The girls are interested in the jerks who are not interested in them. OP, plenty of boys are out there who would date your girls, but your girls aren't interested in them, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I agree — girls feel they have to do so much social media work to get boys to want to date then. My 15 year old DD has three friends who have suddenly become laser focused on being able to say they have had a boyfriend so now they post bikini photos every few days and search through several surrounding high schools’ team pages for cute guys to connect with on social media. Seems like way too much work for me. My lazy Gen X mind can’t see the appeal.

[Anonymous]

The popular 15-16 year old girls are the ones giving head or having.sex.with guys at parties and not thinking twice about it....I am not exaggerating. Be very glad your daughter is not part of that crowd. The boys know who to seek out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing because the "first girl with a bra/boobs" will always (well, until first year of college) be seen as the one to "get"/lay, but the boys won't realize there is nothing between the ears until they are older (second year of college, on). It is then too late for those girls who sprouted early - but the boys - they have time.......the girls, not so much.....

The boys are then men, and glad they dodged a bullet, but those girls - they are a bit stunted, shall we say, now and forever.

Ask me how I know.

WTF with this whole statement???

A girl has no control over when her breasts decide to grow, not how large, and their size certainly has nothing to do with her intelligence.

I can’t even make out what point you are trying to make with the rest of this ridiculous post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing because the "first girl with a bra/boobs" will always (well, until first year of college) be seen as the one to "get"/lay, but the boys won't realize there is nothing between the ears until they are older (second year of college, on). It is then too late for those girls who sprouted early - but the boys - they have time.......the girls, not so much.....

The boys are then men, and glad they dodged a bullet, but those girls - they are a bit stunted, shall we say, now and forever.

Ask me how I know.

WTF with this whole statement???

A girl has no control over when her breasts decide to grow, not how large, and their size certainly has nothing to do with her intelligence.

I can’t even make out what point you are trying to make with the rest of this ridiculous post.

+1 there’s a lot of misogyny in a thread ostensibly about jerkishness of boys

[Anonymous]

Not our teen's experience at all. DS who is 14 has a number of friends who are dating. I'd estimate about a third. They have a lot of friends but I wouldn't consider them "popular" kids because I have no idea what that means. The girls are from different friend groups and schools and as far as I can tell they are normal nice girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The popular 15-16 year old girls are the ones giving head or having.sex.with guys at parties and not thinking twice about it....I am not exaggerating. Be very glad your daughter is not part of that crowd. The boys know who to seek out

No. What is wrong with you? Those are not the most popular girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a teen in the late 1990’s/early 2000’s and this doesn’t sound that different from what I experienced.

There were a group of beautiful popular girls everyone wanted to date and most others didn’t really date. Maybe there would 10-20% of the high school who dated outside of these popular kids. Then that left 80% of students who didn’t date in high school.

Many people I knew started dating after they graduated and went to college.

+1 this has been this way for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 16-17 year old g/b twins in NW DC/close-in Bethesda.
My kids have friends across public/private/Catholic.

My daughter has a tight group of friends (6) and none of them have ever dated. They find that the boys are only interested in a select type of girls.
My daughter and her friends are pretty, sporty, stylish, slim, smart. What they aren't are popular and they're not the types to post bikini shots on Instagram.

They receive next to no interest from boys. For some time this seemed awesome (who needs boys?) but now I find myself feeling a bit sad for them. It feels
(maybe I'm wrong) that girls have to really sell themselves these days to get the attention of ANY boys. All the boys are clamoring over the same circle of girls
(the popular 10 or so from each high school and they all know each other from Instagram) and the rest receive no attention. This transcends schools (these are boys from Catholic/public/private). My son and his friends are guilty of it as well which makes it worse. They turn up their noses (and basically lead on and then make fun of) other girls.
It's horrible and I've had long talks to him about it. Many long talks.

Anyone else notice this dynamic? It doesn't feel like it was this way when I was growing up. Boys were less picky and less a$$holish about girls.

I am sure there are boys who are interested in them but they are not the popular boys your dd is interested in. Do not believe what they are selling. It’s a bunch of teenagers who have been in pandemic isolation for a few years.

Yes! But I remember back in the 90’s, most of us dated, the boys were still jerks.

I bet you were pretty jerky as a teenager to the boys. I remember my brother having a growth spurt and filling out over the summer. The girls all of the sudden thought he was the one. I will never forget how mean those girls were. They were just vicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing because the "first girl with a bra/boobs" will always (well, until first year of college) be seen as the one to "get"/lay, but the boys won't realize there is nothing between the ears until they are older (second year of college, on). It is then too late for those girls who sprouted early - but the boys - they have time.......the girls, not so much.....

The boys are then men, and glad they dodged a bullet, but those girls - they are a bit stunted, shall we say, now and forever.

Ask me how I know.

WTF with this whole statement???

A girl has no control over when her breasts decide to grow, not how large, and their size certainly has nothing to do with her intelligence.

I can’t even make out what point you are trying to make with the rest of this ridiculous post.

I didn't understand it either. [shaking my head]

[Anonymous]

My Bethesda teen boy is dating a sweet and smart girl he met in class. If either is on Instagram, it's not a big part of their lives.

[Anonymous]

The issue is just like boys are looking for popular girls, girls are looking for popular boys. They are pursuing the wrong kids.

DS didn’t really date until senior year. He was friends with many girls but most girls weren’t interested in dating him because he was “too nice.” He was a smart, polite and funny but not an athlete or the most popular (though I think he’s pretty good looking). So it goes both ways.