40's woman and dating- I don't like to cook! Is this a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and attractive, in shape, and dating. Lately all of the guys I've gone out with have asked right away if I like to cook. I don't. The guy I'm dating now gets homemade meals delivered from his mom weekly (supposedly for his kids, but he eats it too). Is this going to be a problem?

When DH and I started dating , I did not know how to cook. He was 39 at the time. He knew this about me, and he didn't care. He knew how to cook, and actually cooked for me while we were dating. Still does.

The bolded would make me run. The problem is not you not knowing how to cook, but that he's looking for a cook for his kids (and himself).

Eh, I read it as a grandma cooking for her grandkids now that their mom isn’t around. Kinda sweet, assuming she’s local.

Why can't he cook? Why does he need his mommy to cook for him? Don't you think that he will expect his GF/wife to cook for him? Big huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone should know how to cook and have a few meal recipes memorized.

Just say that.

Someone your dating has his elderly mother sending meals daily? He cannot figure out how to feed his own kids or meal plan?

OP: his mom is in her 60's, but yes. It sounds more like a cultural tradition though (Lebanese).

If he is from a food-centric family, yes it is going to be a big deal. It is more than just not cooking it is that food is relatively unimportant to you. You will be judged and found wanting. Find a pasty- faced white boy whose Mother microwaved pot pies after a few gin and tonics, you’ll be happier.

OR... find a man who can cook and isn't looking for a cook as a wife.

-signed Asian who married a pasty white man who knows how to cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and attractive, in shape, and dating. Lately all of the guys I've gone out with have asked right away if I like to cook. I don't. The guy I'm dating now gets homemade meals delivered from his mom weekly (supposedly for his kids, but he eats it too). Is this going to be a problem?

When DH and I started dating , I did not know how to cook. He was 39 at the time. He knew this about me, and he didn't care. He knew how to cook, and actually cooked for me while we were dating. Still does.

The bolded would make me run. The problem is not you not knowing how to cook, but that he's looking for a cook for his kids (and himself).

Eh, I read it as a grandma cooking for her grandkids now that their mom isn’t around. Kinda sweet, assuming she’s local.

Why can't he cook? Why does he need his mommy to cook for him? Don't you think that he will expect his GF/wife to cook for him? Big huge red flag.

The PP specifically said that the grandma makes the food for the kids. And lots of men and women can’t cook, it’s not a character flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and attractive, in shape, and dating. Lately all of the guys I've gone out with have asked right away if I like to cook. I don't. The guy I'm dating now gets homemade meals delivered from his mom weekly (supposedly for his kids, but he eats it too). Is this going to be a problem?

When DH and I started dating , I did not know how to cook. He was 39 at the time. He knew this about me, and he didn't care. He knew how to cook, and actually cooked for me while we were dating. Still does.

The bolded would make me run. The problem is not you not knowing how to cook, but that he's looking for a cook for his kids (and himself).

Eh, I read it as a grandma cooking for her grandkids now that their mom isn’t around. Kinda sweet, assuming she’s local.

Why can't he cook? Why does he need his mommy to cook for him? Don't you think that he will expect his GF/wife to cook for him? Big huge red flag.

The PP specifically said that the grandma makes the food for the kids. And lots of men and women can’t cook, it’s not a character flaw.

Cooking isn't that difficult it's something sn adult should no how to do. I'd say the character flaw is laziness in not bothering to try to learn for ho.srlf and to care for his kids. And instead having his mother do it

[Anonymous]

Pp adding I don't expect adults to be 4 star chefs making elaborate meals, but capable of basic stuff. He k you can get rotisserie chicken and bagged salad from the grocery store . I just wouldn't be cool with a guy or girl who relied completely on meals from mom

[Anonymous]

No, it's not a problem for dating. You do you. IF a particular guy will expect you to cook, he's not the guy for you. Move on. There will be others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp adding I don't expect adults to be 4 star chefs making elaborate meals, but capable of basic stuff. He k you can get rotisserie chicken and bagged salad from the grocery store . I just wouldn't be cool with a guy or girl who relied completely on meals from mom

exactly.. I don't like cooking and only learned in my 40s when I had kids. I'm betting the mom is also going to expect the guy's GF/wife to cook for him and his kids. Is she going to continue cooking for them if/when he gets married? No, she will expect the wife to do it.

[Anonymous]

Shoot, I’d eat grandma’s food too!

Are you looking to get married? I’d stop accepting dates from guys who want a “cook for me” date. You can find a guy who doesn’t expect that, and who knows, once you love him it might rekindle the enjoyment for cooking you once had.

[Anonymous]

Does he have full custody? How many children? How long divorced? I

[Anonymous]

The men I have dated haven't cared one way or another. I don't mind cooking, but they usually end up cooking for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and attractive, in shape, and dating. Lately all of the guys I've gone out with have asked right away if I like to cook. I don't. The guy I'm dating now gets homemade meals delivered from his mom weekly (supposedly for his kids, but he eats it too). Is this going to be a problem?

When DH and I started dating , I did not know how to cook. He was 39 at the time. He knew this about me, and he didn't care. He knew how to cook, and actually cooked for me while we were dating. Still does.

The bolded would make me run. The problem is not you not knowing how to cook, but that he's looking for a cook for his kids (and himself).

Eh, I read it as a grandma cooking for her grandkids now that their mom isn’t around. Kinda sweet, assuming she’s local.

Why can't he cook? Why does he need his mommy to cook for him? Don't you think that he will expect his GF/wife to cook for him? Big huge red flag.

The PP specifically said that the grandma makes the food for the kids. And lots of men and women can’t cook, it’s not a character flaw.

Indeed.. I didn't know how to cook when I got married. Does the guy know how to cook? Or did he just expect his wife/mom/gf to do all the cooking? That's the issue people are having with this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His mom delivers his meals!? Please tell me you know he is not the guy for you!

This. I would say this is a huge red flag even if I was the best cook on earth. OP, I don’t like to cook either. My standard response to that is that I can cook OK but I’m not that into it. If some guy doesn’t wanna date me because I cannot cook or because I don’t wanna cook and cook meals for him every night, he’s not the right guy for me. It’s probably a good way to screen out guys who are just looking for someone who would do all the house work.

[Anonymous]

Who are you dating? I am 44, divorced and started dating again at 42. One person I dated for 7 months asked if I liked to cook. No one else has!

I don't like to cook. I don't have time. Has not been a problem (but I will also never live with or marry a man ever again so my cooking skills, which are fine--I just don't like it--is literally irrelevant to dating).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone should know how to cook and have a few meal recipes memorized.

Just say that.

Someone your dating has his elderly mother sending meals daily? He cannot figure out how to feed his own kids or meal plan?

OP: his mom is in her 60's, but yes. It sounds more like a cultural tradition though (Lebanese).

My ex-husband's mom is Lebanese. She does not send daily meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can make up for it in the bedroom, then I think you’re solid. Just be up front so they know that they’ll have to take on that cooking role or budget takeout/premaid meals being with you.

-30 year old man who also doesn’t like to cook.

My STBX wife is an amazing cook but is dead in the bedroom. Would rather have great sex than a great meal. I can always order in or cook myself. You will be fine.