If you're a family who expects your kids to eat what's put in front of them, do you make exceptions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

That’s tough. My policy is that they eat what is offered rather than some different thing. E.g., if we are having veggie korma, naan and yogurt, they can’t have pb&j, and they have to at least try everything together, but I also will have some veggies on the side without the sauce and if they end up eating a tiny bit of korma and some plain veggies and rice and yogurt, then that’s fine.

At Thanksgiving, I would let them choose what goes on their plate, with the limitation that I expect them to have a few bites of some kind of protein and some kind of veggie. In practice that would be a little bit of turkey, some green beans, some masked potatoes, several rolls and half a can of olives each.

So my green beans would be simple, mashed potatoes simple and everything else I can go to town experimenting with.

Maybe a compromise would be to have super kid-friendly appetizers so they can fill up on that and then she can make an exception without blowing her normal rules? Like if the appetizers were “dinner” for the kids and then they were free to eat whatever looked good at the main event?

OP here,

I serve more like you, although I don't make my kids try things. So, if we're having veggie korma, naan, and yogurt, and rice, and my kid ate just rice with yogurt, then I'd be OK with that. She just wouldn't serve veggie korma because it's not "kid friendly".

I will think about the appetizer solution.

Your relative has an odd policy. Her rule is that her kids eat what they are served. Usually at least past of the purpose of such a policy is to create non-picky eaters who eat a variety of foods. Your relative has that policy but only serves kid friendly foods. That’s….odd. Is it like here’s this Kraft mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, you have to eat this?

I’m not a fan of the policy and think your relative could certainly deviate for one night, but I also do try to accommodate guest’s preferences so I’d try to have some plainer items for the kids. However, if you are serving a buffet and she’s saying it all has to be plain because her rule is that her kids have to eat everything served, that’s truly bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

If you’re hosting the meal and cooking then ask your relative to bring something that her kids will eat.

We'll have a ton of things her kids will eat.

The issue is that she thinks that we should only have things her kids will eat. For example, there has been discussion of Beef Wellington. Her kids don't like mushrooms. But we'll also have ham, which they like, and mac and cheese which they love and turkey which they're OK with. So, the kids will not be protein deprived. Same with every food group.

Ignore her nonsense. Telling you that you can’t serve anything her kids won’t eat is asinine. So if you have ham, Mac and cheese, and a veggie they will eat, that’s more than fine. She can suck it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

That’s tough. My policy is that they eat what is offered rather than some different thing. E.g., if we are having veggie korma, naan and yogurt, they can’t have pb&j, and they have to at least try everything together, but I also will have some veggies on the side without the sauce and if they end up eating a tiny bit of korma and some plain veggies and rice and yogurt, then that’s fine.

At Thanksgiving, I would let them choose what goes on their plate, with the limitation that I expect them to have a few bites of some kind of protein and some kind of veggie. In practice that would be a little bit of turkey, some green beans, some masked potatoes, several rolls and half a can of olives each.

So my green beans would be simple, mashed potatoes simple and everything else I can go to town experimenting with.

Maybe a compromise would be to have super kid-friendly appetizers so they can fill up on that and then she can make an exception without blowing her normal rules? Like if the appetizers were “dinner” for the kids and then they were free to eat whatever looked good at the main event?

OP here,

I serve more like you, although I don't make my kids try things. So, if we're having veggie korma, naan, and yogurt, and rice, and my kid ate just rice with yogurt, then I'd be OK with that. She just wouldn't serve veggie korma because it's not "kid friendly".

I will think about the appetizer solution.

Your relative has an odd policy. Her rule is that her kids eat what they are served. Usually at least past of the purpose of such a policy is to create non-picky eaters who eat a variety of foods. Your relative has that policy but only serves kid friendly foods. That’s….odd. Is it like here’s this Kraft mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, you have to eat this?

I’m not a fan of the policy and think your relative could certainly deviate for one night, but I also do try to accommodate guest’s preferences so I’d try to have some plainer items for the kids. However, if you are serving a buffet and she’s saying it all has to be plain because her rule is that her kids have to eat everything served, that’s truly bizarre.

No, she's serving her kids decent food. Just plain food. So, for example, her kids will eat a plain grilled chicken breast, or a baked piece of salmon. They'll eat brown rice. They'll eat baby carrots or peas.

So that's a healthy meal, baked salmon, rice, baby carrots, and peas with some fruit for dessert and a glass of milk. It's a meal I'd serve my family. I just also serve other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

If you’re hosting the meal and cooking then ask your relative to bring something that her kids will eat.

We'll have a ton of things her kids will eat.

The issue is that she thinks that we should only have things her kids will eat. For example, there has been discussion of Beef Wellington. Her kids don't like mushrooms. But we'll also have ham, which they like, and mac and cheese which they love and turkey which they're OK with. So, the kids will not be protein deprived. Same with every food group.

Your original question was really confusing. I think it would have made a lot more sense if you had framed it as How Do I Handle this Odd Request from Relative. But the short answer is you just need to ignore this crazy person. I have a niece who is so picky she doesn’t like anything we serve at Thanksgiving. Not plain turkey, not mashed potatoes, not plain peas, not dinner rolls, not anything. As far as I can tell, she eats only chicken nuggets and cookies, and that’s what her folks bring to the feast. It all works out just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

I just make sure there are enough options for everyone to have a nice dinner. So make a mix of “little kid friendly” and more adult fare.

[Anonymous]

At home the general rule is to try a bite of whaterver is on the plate meal. IF they don't like it after a bite that's fine.


For holidays I usually fix their plates because it's just easier, but they also sometimes choose to eat something they might not normally like because an auntie or cousin is eating it.


As a host I try to serve a variety of things so everyone is likely to find something that they will it.

As for your relative, it's a bit much to insist the entire meal be things her kids will eat.

[Anonymous]

We skipped "kid friendly" foods, but didn't force feed.
For the holidays, we always do a huge veggie tray for appetizers that the kids decimate, so I don't care too much of they only choose mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. It's one meal. No way would picky kid preference override an entire holiday meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

If you’re hosting the meal and cooking then ask your relative to bring something that her kids will eat.

We'll have a ton of things her kids will eat.

The issue is that she thinks that we should only have things her kids will eat. For example, there has been discussion of Beef Wellington. Her kids don't like mushrooms. But we'll also have ham, which they like, and mac and cheese which they love and turkey which they're OK with. So, the kids will not be protein deprived. Same with every food group.

Then tell her to pound sand or better yet stay home. Deviating from one meal is not going to cause her snowflakes to drop of starvation.

[Anonymous]

Your relative is crazy.

You’re insane for indulging this. The way normal people handle holidays is to make sure to have a few options that the kids will eat and then cook an adult meal.

Also, even as an adult I often don’t eat every single dish at a holiday dinner. Maybe I only want mashed potatoes and skip the sweet potatoes this year. It’s perfectly fine. It’s bizarre to think that kids have to eat every single dish at a holiday spread.

[Anonymous]

If it is not a plated, served meal then tell her guests are free to choose what they want. "There will be something there for everyone not everything for everyone."

You promise to not have hurt feelings or make comments about what anyone does or doesn't eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full.

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar. As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".

If you’re hosting the meal and cooking then ask your relative to bring something that her kids will eat.

We'll have a ton of things her kids will eat.

The issue is that she thinks that we should only have things her kids will eat. For example, there has been discussion of Beef Wellington. Her kids don't like mushrooms. But we'll also have ham, which they like, and mac and cheese which they love and turkey which they're OK with. So, the kids will not be protein deprived. Same with every food group.

The answer is no. You do not accommodate this relative and only serve kid friendly foods for the entire group of people. Absolutely, positively, no. You’re going to have a kid friendly foods that they like. That’s perfect. Honestly, you’re having family over and this member wants you to serve a completely boring meal to everybod, and that is not an OK ask. You should be able to make whatever you want to serve in your own home. I cannot believe she’s dictating that you only serve foods that her kids will like and nothing else. That seems absolutely self-centered and insensitive. I would tell her that they will be kid friendly options. Then just drop it. She can choose not to come if she’s adamant that the menu can only be certain items.

[Anonymous]

5:42 again. I forgot to add that one of my kids is a super picky eater and absolutely despises turkey. I am the holiday house so he is free to cook another protein, and he will. He is a teen now, but as a younger child I would have another protein made for him. He ate the rest of the meal—he just dislikes turkey. If we were going to another person’s house he would just eat other items except for the turkey. When he got home he would have a PBJ or quesadillas or something. I would’ve never served only foods he likes for a holiday meal where I’m having multiple people. That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you serve what you want and have a couple of plainer items. We do a together dinner every night but holidays are a big thing and so stressful my kids revert to eating bread and apples (preschoolers). I don't care. They end up eating more off my plate. And since my mom is an adventurous cook there are things she serves that i don't like (have tried) and don't put on my plate. But others like them and in no way do i feel deprived that there is food i won't eat on the table.

[Anonymous]

Kid is 9 now and has to eat from what’s offered. There is more leeway at home obviously. She prefers carrots raw for example so has those as a veggie with dinner while I may have a different vegetable. I don’t like ketchup but if she wants ketchup on her chicken burger she can have ketchup. We went to a friends house for dinner s couple of weeks ago, pot luck style, my kid tried a few things but ultimately ate bread and fruit. It was fine, it was one meal. We were there to enjoy our friends not battle over food. But I’m also not bringing something just I know she has something I know she’ll eat. I have a friend with a 12yo son that really only eats chicken nuggets. We were all going to have dinner together yesterday but the Mexican we wanted to try didn’t sell nuggets so we had to choose somewhere else. That’s just craziness. They cater to him because he has autism and they don’t want him to lose his shit….. but now he’s over weight and only eats about 5-6 things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is not a plated, served meal then tell her guests are free to choose what they want. "There will be something there for everyone not everything for everyone."

You promise to not have hurt feelings or make comments about what anyone does or doesn't eat.

Agree. Tell her to think of it like a restaurant, and the food offered are items on the menu. She can pick the items from the menu that work for her kids. They don’t have to eat everything on the menu.