Grandparent names picked without my consent

[Anonymous]

What a non-issue. Have a lot of free time on your hands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's up to her, not you. The exception being my FIL who picked a name with sexual connotations and we said hard pass, try again.

Please, please... what was it?!?!

[Anonymous]

Different kids in our family have different names for the same grandparent. It happens organically. Also, sometimes it happens because MIL was already Grandma, so the kid started to use a different name on their own to distinguish them, like Grandma FirstName. And sometimes a grandparent tries to get a goofy name to stick and it just doesn't (looking at you grandma who tried to use the impossible-to-pronounce and never-going-to-learn-how-to-spell-it foreign nickname for grandmother from a country you have absolutely no association with whatsoever).

[Anonymous]

My daughter made up her own weird names for my parents and they stuck. My brothers kid calls them by more traditional names. It’s all good.

[Anonymous]

I know Glitter is not the real name but for arguments sake let’s say it is. The kid will probably pronounce it GG or something as a toddler and that will be the name that sticks. My MIL has control issues and wanted our DD to call her Grandmom and her husband Grandpop. Well DD couldn’t say that very well at the age of 2 so he became Pop Pop and she just became GMa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not an issue. Different kids in the same family use different names for grandparents. Happens all the time.. Presumably your mom got a say in this, and she is okay with the name? It's a decision that gets made between your sister and your mother, and then again between your mother and you.
And then kids will come up with their own names in 2 years!

This - my great grandmother's name was chosen by my oldest aunt who when mimicking my grandmother, couldn't pronounce "Mother". My sister's "auntie" name came about because my child couldn't pronounce her name so now we call her some other nickname (but only when referring to my sister while speaking to DC).

Grandparent names and nicknames should be organic. Stop trying to control everything

[Anonymous]

LOL, OP, LOL.

FWIW, I’m the oldest grandkid, and my Nana wanted to be called “Grandmother.” I guess I called her “Nana” and it stuck, because that’s what all 4 of us called her.

[Anonymous]

Grandparents get to choose the name they are called, OP. Love, Grammy B.

[Anonymous]

The audacity you have to think that this is even remotely something you have any say in.

Good luck with parenting.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's up to her to decide what the grandkids call her, and you don't really get a vote.

But I do want to express some empathy, OP, because my mom also selected an incredibly stupid name for herself. It's fine, my kid calls her that and we reinforce it -- you use the name someone provides you, it's really important to reinforce that for kids. But privately I cringe every time I hear it or say it. Part of the problem is that it's a name that is actively kind of hard to say, plus it somehow manages to be both cutesy and pretentious at the same time. My mom is absolutely being ridiculous with it, and I honestly think she regrets picking it on some level, but now it's too late because she's got half a dozen grand kids who have been using it for years.

I think it's fine to vent privately (on here or two your husband) that the name is dumb. It probably is. But yeah, sometimes people pick dumb names for themselves and you just have to go with it because it's not up to you.

[Anonymous]

My Korean-American babysitter thinks it's hilarious how much drama there is in (white) US culture over grandparent names. My DH is super low-drama but freaked out that my dad wanted to be called Papa. It is a common grandpa name (and never a dad name) where I'm from in the US, but DH is from a different part of the country and has spent a lot of time in Europe where Papa means Daddy. So as a compromise -- an admittedly passive-aggressive one -- I've started teaching DD German, which I speak, and calling her Dad "Papa" and Grandpa "Opa."

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it now. Your kids will come up with their own names for the grandparents. My kids are the oldest cousins on my side of the family and established the grandparent names. Well, my 2 year old niece, who is the 5th grandchild, calls my dad something completely different than what was established (but still an appropriate grandfather name). No big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

People get to pick their own name. As long as it's not derogatory, it's respectful to call her what she wants to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Korean-American babysitter thinks it's hilarious how much drama there is in (white) US culture over grandparent names. My DH is super low-drama but freaked out that my dad wanted to be called Papa. It is a common grandpa name (and never a dad name) where I'm from in the US, but DH is from a different part of the country and has spent a lot of time in Europe where Papa means Daddy. So as a compromise -- an admittedly passive-aggressive one -- I've started teaching DD German, which I speak, and calling her Dad "Papa" and Grandpa "Opa."

That's interesting. I know some families where everybody including the grandkids call Grandma and Grandpa "Mom and Dad". Their differentiate with their own parents by saying "Mommy and Daddy".

[Anonymous]

My friend's parents wanted to be Grandma and Grandpa. Their oldest grandchild named them Mimi and Pop-pop. The more they attempted to dig in against it, the more that sweet little feisty toddler dug in. It's been 15 years and guess what? They are Mimi and Pop-pop.