Why or why not have a 4th child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fires in California
The ocean was recently on fire
Hottest summers on record each year for the past decade
Methane leak from the thawing permafrost in Siberia
Dengue and other diseases are creeping north
1/3 of amphibians will be extinct in our lifetimes
Increasing droughts worldwide
I could go on and on

+1 Seriously. I don't normally go in for this argument in family size discussions because people have deeply-held reasons for having lots of kids, but OP's reason seems to be "what is everybody else doing? I could go for another if it's in fashion!"

+2 the most selfish thing you could do to your current children is to bring another human to this earth.

That people are still asking if they should have more than 1 or 2 kids after the report just came out that our planet is going tobe a giant fireball within the next decade is truly mind boggling/

So but if you’re sure our planet is going to be a fireball in the next decade what is the difference between having 2 vs 3 children perish in the fires?

Or 10. Better chance of one surviving

This is the mental illness I was referring to. They think their children dying and suffering is hilarious so long as they get the high and attention from having 4+ kids.

Ahhhh I see. You are jealous of the perceived attention larger families get. Keep your eyes on your own work, you’ll be happier for it.

No one is jealous of big families, everyone think you are weird, but of course they won’t tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does no one care about the environment? We are so screwed.

[phone].

while you're at it, stop getting pets. Feeding more animals 90% meat and bagging their sh*t in plastic 2x/day for their entire lives is also terrible for the environment.

[Anonymous]

3 is somewhat normal. Once you have 4, your entire identity is parent and people will absolutely think you are strange. Unless you really think your kids will be solving climate change, stop now. Please. You're over your allotted amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are all of you planning or having 4+ kids affording college?

Are you just ok with your kids taking on a lot of debt and starting their adult lives behind debt free kids??

My sister has 4 kids and is a SAHM and says she doesn’t view paying for college as her responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are all of you planning or having 4+ kids affording college?

Are you just ok with your kids taking on a lot of debt and starting their adult lives behind debt free kids??

We are on dcum so I imagine a lot of families earn a higher income and prioritize education. I have 4 and we made saving for college a priority. I do my own cooking and cleaning, we rarely travel internationally as a family and we live off of one (my DHs) salary and put my entire salary towards saving. It’s true that you have less money for luxury goods and travel with 4 kids but if both parents are earning decent money and are willing to budget, saving for college is not impossible. I will say, we’ve set aside a specific amount so that each child could likely do 4 years out of state or private or 4 years in state and also get help with grad school. We are not planning on fully funding phds for all 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are all of you planning or having 4+ kids affording college?

Are you just ok with your kids taking on a lot of debt and starting their adult lives behind debt free kids??

My sister has 4 kids and is a SAHM and says she doesn’t view paying for college as her responsibility.

Do you think she would have felt differently if she had had 2 or 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids under 5 and the youngest is currently 6mo. DH and I are discussing whether or not we should have a 4th.

If you went from 3 kids to 4, or decided not to, what was your reasoning? Are you happy with your decision?

Enjoy your baby and young kids. You sound you want to collect babies but your kids need the attention , love, money a lot more than you need a 4th.

Are you going to answer the question or just share an opinion no one asked for? jw.

Are you going to answer the question or post your stupud thought? If you read carefully I did give advice that the op ASKED!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 is somewhat normal. Once you have 4, your entire identity is parent and people will absolutely think you are strange. Unless you really think your kids will be solving climate change, stop now. Please. You're over your allotted amount.

I dont live in DC but I definitely wouldn’t see a family with 4 kids as strange. At all. The only place where I felt like I had a large family (3 kids) was in the Bay Area where new moms were a solid 15 years older than me and typically had one they focused very heavily on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids under 5 and the youngest is currently 6mo. DH and I are discussing whether or not we should have a 4th.

If you went from 3 kids to 4, or decided not to, what was your reasoning? Are you happy with your decision?

Enjoy your baby and young kids. You sound you want to collect babies but your kids need the attention , love, money a lot more than you need a 4th.

Are you going to answer the question or just share an opinion no one asked for? jw.

Are you going to answer the question or post your stupud thought? If you read carefully I did give advice that the op ASKED!

Girl, chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are all of you planning or having 4+ kids affording college?

Are you just ok with your kids taking on a lot of debt and starting their adult lives behind debt free kids??

We are on dcum so I imagine a lot of families earn a higher income and prioritize education. I have 4 and we made saving for college a priority. I do my own cooking and cleaning, we rarely travel internationally as a family and we live off of one (my DHs) salary and put my entire salary towards saving. It’s true that you have less money for luxury goods and travel with 4 kids but if both parents are earning decent money and are willing to budget, saving for college is not impossible. I will say, we’ve set aside a specific amount so that each child could likely do 4 years out of state or private or 4 years in state and also get help with grad school. We are not planning on fully funding phds for all 4 kids.

+1. We saved and grandparents contributed money to the grandkids’s college accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fires in California
The ocean was recently on fire
Hottest summers on record each year for the past decade
Methane leak from the thawing permafrost in Siberia
Dengue and other diseases are creeping north
1/3 of amphibians will be extinct in our lifetimes
Increasing droughts worldwide
I could go on and on

+1 Seriously. I don't normally go in for this argument in family size discussions because people have deeply-held reasons for having lots of kids, but OP's reason seems to be "what is everybody else doing? I could go for another if it's in fashion!"

+2 the most selfish thing you could do to your current children is to bring another human to this earth.

That people are still asking if they should have more than 1 or 2 kids after the report just came out that our planet is going tobe a giant fireball within the next decade is truly mind boggling/

So but if you’re sure our planet is going to be a fireball in the next decade what is the difference between having 2 vs 3 children perish in the fires?

Or 10. Better chance of one surviving

This is the mental illness I was referring to. They think their children dying and suffering is hilarious so long as they get the high and attention from having 4+ kids.

Ahhhh I see. You are jealous of the perceived attention larger families get. Keep your eyes on your own work, you’ll be happier for it.

No one is jealous of big families, everyone think you are weird, but of course they won’t tell you.

Some people are clearly feeling some type of way. I have 3 and can’t imagine hopping on a thread to rabidly attack people who have chosen to have 2 (or 4!) kids. It does come off as insecure. Is this the pp who was going off about her own extended family’s issues and saying anyone with more than two kids has a mental disorder? That whole rant did not come of as…grounded.

[Anonymous]

So many people have quietly told me they wished they had stopped at 2. They love their third of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many people have quietly told me they wished they had stopped at 2. They love their third of course.

lol

[Anonymous]

Pp. I have 3 and I think our family is complete but I do sometimes worry that I’ll regret not having a 4th. I want to be done by 35 so it is now or never, though, and im happy with my family size as it is so I’m most likely done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are all of you planning or having 4+ kids affording college?

Are you just ok with your kids taking on a lot of debt and starting their adult lives behind debt free kids??

We are on dcum so I imagine a lot of families earn a higher income and prioritize education. I have 4 and we made saving for college a priority. I do my own cooking and cleaning, we rarely travel internationally as a family and we live off of one (my DHs) salary and put my entire salary towards saving. It’s true that you have less money for luxury goods and travel with 4 kids but if both parents are earning decent money and are willing to budget, saving for college is not impossible. I will say, we’ve set aside a specific amount so that each child could likely do 4 years out of state or private or 4 years in state and also get help with grad school. We are not planning on fully funding phds for all 4 kids.

+1. We saved and grandparents contributed money to the grandkids’s college accounts.

It must be nice to have that sort of money. I'm sure most parents of 4 will not be able to save roughly $400,000 dollars just for their kids to all go to undergrad, simply by doing their own cooking and cleaning and gma and gpa pitching in.


Also realize that if your currently debating having baby number 4, that child will likely needa PHD just to make an average salary.